To be angry at boyfriend for pulling out of holiday?

[Triptofarce]

Boyfriend and I have planned trip if a lifetime to a far away destination.

We’d booked flights, but are very last minute and hasn’t yet got around to booking our accommodation and activities.

Boyfriend got I’ll a couple of weeks ago, and has slowly been getting better.

he insisted today that he would be well enough for us to go on this trip next week. So tonight we booked hotels and activities (spent over £2000).

he then seemed stressed and anxious. I asked why and he reluctantly stated that he actually isn’t sure whether he’ll feel well enough to do the trip, and might need to pull out of it.

theres no way I want to do it on my own, so it means I’ll have to miss out too.

if he had told me he was unsure about whether he’d be well, then we wouldn’t have booked everything else today and would only have lost out on the flight money. But now we’ll lose out on an extra £2000 (non cancellable).

AIBU to be absolutely bloody pissed off with him?

He's only said he isn't sure. Maybe he's felt ill or more tired this evening and just panicked.

Jeez, I'm sure he isn't wasting money for fun either.

Why can't you both speak calmly about the situation? Doesn't sound at all supportive

This. Has he said he's definitely not up for it literally hours after booking (if so then he's an absolute bell-end) or just that he's worried. An afternoon nap is not a deal breaker, and if he thinks it is then he's also a bell-end.

Just go. Both of you. If you have to take it easy for a couple of days so be it but don't cancel and lose the money.

He should go and just take it easy. Great chance to rest and recuperate in beautiful settings

OP, is he normally a bit of a plonker with this kind of thing? Should you have known not to book it on his say-so?

Quietly furious? Why on earth are you not saying anything!

Unless he’s 80 he’s being a total weed. Can’t go on holiday because he needs some naps? Jeez.

He owes you all the money you’ve lost by him changing his mind just 12 hours after he allowed you to book £2000 worth of non- refundable stuff!!!
What a twat.
I’d be beyond angry.

I don’t think just feeling fatigued in the afternoon is a good enough excuse. He can nap while you adventure off or read a book or something. I’m usually drained by the afternoon and need a nap but I would still go on the trip. Maybe he really didn’t want to go but has a hard time saying no (I have done this before but not for a big trip)

Quietly furious?

He'd be quietly dumped

People do travel alone even to places like this

There's a few issues. Why did you not talk about it or express your reservations if he is still getting tired? Also, why are you quiety seething? I'd be livid if I standed to lose money when he pushed for booking accommodation and excursions. As an adult, he should have been able to communicate how he felt with you and you should be able to do the same not quietly seethe. I absolutely would be asking for a refund.

Your relationship won't last if you can't be honest and communicate with each other. Quietly seething will build resentment, much better to speak about how pissed you are that he pushed to book, knowing he still doesn't feel 100%.

Check in the morning if he’s going or not. Ask him for the money either way. If he’s not going, I think you should go yourself. Yes it might be scary, but at least you’ll have done it!

He 1000% has to pay 100% of the cost if he cancels, and no, that’s not mean or selfish of you: That's what he’s pulling right now.

Oh fuck no... you've accomodated for his reduced energy/fatigue. He pushed to book it...

So either he goes, or he refunds you. No other options are remotely reasonable.

Sounds like he’s getting cold feet from everything here. Really sorry op.
Does he suffer with anxiety? This may play a part too as he may be using avoidance as a reason not to go.

Get his share for the whole trip from him now before he makes a firm decision not to go
Get investigating right away how much you can get back if you cancel everything
Use his share to pay for all non refundable costs
Really he should pay for anything you are out of pocket
And you should consider dumping him for this extremely selfish behaviour.

Yes he goes or he refunds you.
Why should you be forced to go on a solo trip you would never have booked just because he’s changed his mind.

He's paid so he may as well go. Better to go and cut out activities he can't do than not go at all.

If he does this a lot or can't make up his mind a lot and it starts to affect you, get out.

Is he just panicking whether he will be well enough rather than absolutely saying he will not be? Had a good day and thoight it's all good, then got tited and realised it may not be THAT good? If he atill has serious fatigue he has not recovered.

He can go and have naps though travel especially moving from accommodation to accommodation can take it out of healthy people. Or pay you back as he insisted

This. I'd plan to go with or without him..please tell me hes paid his part of the holiday up front.

Have you each paid half? I'd go and invite a Friend or family member. It wouldn't cost much to change the name. I'm sure a lot of people would be up for a free holiday.

If he chooses not to go he's the only one who should lose out.

Go on your own and use the time to reflect on whether you want this type of behaviour in your life

Either go alone or get your share paid by him then dump him.

Well I fail to see why you don’t have insurance in place to cover this?

I know I'm the minority but I think yabu. In your OP it sounds like he's just said he's anxious he won't be well enough. Like he's spent the money and thought 'SHIT what if I don't get any better?!'

Also, reading this post I thought... Maybe he booked it because you were going on and on about it to someone that was hospitalised? If you knew he had fatigue after an illness that was pretty bad then how can you be angry at him for not' being honest about his fitness'.