Prison life choice?

[Hceey]

I don't understand my DN. He is in prison and has been in and out for years on short sentences.

He comes out, lives in a homeless group for a bit, robs food and drink. No drugs to what I know to. He then goes back in prison at some point.

The whole thing is fucking ridiculous and I want to help him. But, I don't understand him and his way of thinking. The support from the system is not there. Yes, I don't know the full facts, I admit.

He comes out and does the same thing over and over. He has no support, they send him out and what? I don't understand how the system is meant to work?

He will be out soon with nothing, no home and no job. I think they give him some cash, but that's it.

I can offer him a sofa, but not long term. I cannot afford to support him though and so he will go back to robbing.

I feel useless.

AIBU to feel the system is shite?

I'm posting because I'm hoping to hear from someone who knows or been through this. Realistically, how hopeful is it he will ever get a job with his past?

Is his future really gonna be prison then retirement?

@Hceey if you take him in and have jewellery etc of sentimental value, ask someone to mind them for you. My DD tried to help her half brother, he not only robbed her put set up the house to be burgled later on. He set up our Nephew's removal van to be stolen, because he got access to the keys, there wasn't an insurance pay out and it ended my DNs business. My stepson is institutionalised and just won't live decently. We'd have put him up, bill free with a instant job, or help via an ex offender charity. He didn't want it. I worked in Welfare rights, some people who are homeless don't want the responsibility of housing. I think many would be the vintage, differs, tramps, hawkers etc. He'd have to not contact old acquaintances. He's had available what everyone has and that's access to benefits. There is help, some cities are better on that score, but it's really important that you don't see him as a perpetual victim. Childhood is relevant because people who opt out of society have often been let down from childhood and don't see themselves as having a place in it.

If he's locked up for 10 years that's 10 years he's not making other people's lives a misery.

If he comes back out after that and offends again he can do 15 years next time.

Like I said, we need many more prisons urgently.

For all the 'rehabilitation and reintegration' talk, the fact is that many/most offenders will carry on offending regardless of the support they receive because that's just how they are.

People will say "prison doesn't work..." but in all honesty, who cares? As long as they're locked up they're not ruining everyone else's lives, so frankly I don't care about pointless, costly rehabilitation. Just keep them off the streets.

Prison costs a fortune though. Over 6 billion in 22-23. It’s cheaper to have someone in an open prison but it’s still 20-30k per person per year. Costs rise massively the more secure the prison.

Im not against prison but for lots of people it’s an expensive waste of time. I do think money could be better invested in prevention.

www.statista.com/statistics/298654/united-kingdom-uk-public-sector-expenditure-prisons/

Lovely story, thanks for sharing and a special 'thank you' to the guy who gave him a break on release. The world needs more of those.

People must think Starmer has some magic wand. Amazing how he has caused so much destruction and damaged public services in a month.

I think people do get institutionalised. It can happen when people are in and out of psych hospital also. They never really change, they stop being frightened of the restrictions and start to find it a comfort almost.
I think as others say if he were able to move away from the area where his influences are he'd stand a chance. If it's petty crime then that is often fueled by addiction. You say no drugs.
I don't know if he'd consider counselling? Could he go to AA? Would you maybe agree to go along with him as a support?
I hope things get better. There are so many men trapped in this cycle. There should be more done to help prison leavers go 'straight' but it requires determination and willpower and guidance.

@HorsesDuvets Who cares? I care as do lots of people who have an understanding of what lies behind offending behaviour. And the last thing we need is to build loads more prisons and put people away for eternity. It's hugely expensive and when they come out it's all back to square one. Pointless waste of money and lives.

Of course I believe that SOME prisoners should be locked up for a very long time but a significant proportion should not ever enter the prison system where they learn from other criminals and then come out and find their lives are impossible and the only option is re- offending.

So so many people in prison are there for PUBLIC PROTECTION.

They are not all thieving lovable rogues who rob Tesco

Some seriously bad people behind those doors who need to stay there. We absolutely DO need more prisons building

Have you stepped foot in a prison before?

@HelloMiss thars really not the case. The vast majority are poor souls

We should take a lead from the Netherlands, where they are closing prisons and converting them into housing because of good criminal justice policies

Some people's lives are so awful that prison is the lesser of two evils.

Good policies that only lock up a man who at 19 raped a 12 year old, was sentenced to 4 years over here, sent back there under agreement after one and served ONE MONTH in a Dutch prison? No thanks.

You really think that? Why?

@Bjorkdidit the odd few yes. Not a vast majority, nowhere near

I'm amazed at this thread and peoples perceptions of U.K. prison

Because I know from working in the tiejd

This thread has made me really sad. Some people are such massive cuntts

Why would you choose losing your freedom. etc as a choice?
Odd, I couldn't think of anything worse than being locked up, I think I'd rather not be here.

People do. Some people leave such disordered and dangerous lifes that prison is preferable to being outside. I'm no one of those who thinks prison is all PlayStation and cups of tea either. Prison is not nice but for some it is preferable to what is on the outside.

Prisons obvs not hard enough then is it?
Also it's not actually like that for everyone.

You've overlooked the fact that child abusers don't mix in.like that they are segregated.

People also appeal their sentences, if they liked it that much they wouldn't appeal.

Exactly let it go. It's not as if it's your son.
Why would anyone go looking for stress and trouble. Enjoy your life.

I used to work with people doing community payback. Lots had already had a short stint in prison. The main comment about prison was it was really boring. I don’t think it would bother me as I’m pretty content in my own head but lots of people find it hard.

You probably sleep in a bed in a house with heating and electric light. You probably don't have an addiction.

We should be moving towards the Norwegian model.

www.kriminalomsorgen.no/informasjon-paa-engelsk.536003.no.html#:~:text=In%20total%2C%20Norway%20has%20a,those%20in%20pre%2Dtrial%20detention.

OP, I can understand that you're incredibly concerned about your nephew and want to support him but what are his immediate family doing to help & support him? What do his parents do/say? Why are they not offering him their sofa? Did he have good friendship when growing up? Is he close to his parents / siblings? Understanding his homelike & growing up might help to understand his incentives more. You seem to have evaded those types of questions. Maybe he finds the reality of life & having to work hard to achieve something 'normal' too much like hard work. As well as the system needing to help him, he has got to help himself too and realise these things aren't just served up on a plate.

It's always someone else's fault why these 'poor souls' end up in prison!

Always!