Prison life choice?

[Hceey]

I don't understand my DN. He is in prison and has been in and out for years on short sentences.

He comes out, lives in a homeless group for a bit, robs food and drink. No drugs to what I know to. He then goes back in prison at some point.

The whole thing is fucking ridiculous and I want to help him. But, I don't understand him and his way of thinking. The support from the system is not there. Yes, I don't know the full facts, I admit.

He comes out and does the same thing over and over. He has no support, they send him out and what? I don't understand how the system is meant to work?

He will be out soon with nothing, no home and no job. I think they give him some cash, but that's it.

I can offer him a sofa, but not long term. I cannot afford to support him though and so he will go back to robbing.

I feel useless.

AIBU to feel the system is shite?

I'm posting because I'm hoping to hear from someone who knows or been through this. Realistically, how hopeful is it he will ever get a job with his past?

Is his future really gonna be prison then retirement?

Yes, I worry that he sees life better inside.

I'm just struggling to understand the point of it tbh. I don't understand the system at all. DN will come out to nothing.

I understand prison as a whole. I understand it's to keep us safe from the people that would hurt us.

But, I don't understand what it's meant to do for the others? My DN is now unlikely to get a job and has no home. I was thinking he could volunteer and that would give him something. However, how long will that last until he feels sick of it. It will not change his life overall.

It's easy to say tough tit to him. But, that will just push him back to prison.

Maybe I'm just kidding myself. I just find it heartbreaking. I watched him grow up. I'm ignorant to a lot of this as I don't have anyone else in the family that has took this path.

I never knew going to prison for a small thing could totally ruin your life. Yes, I heard that, but always thought it was just something we told our kids to stop them being stupid. Maybe if it was just once it wouldn't. DN might be too far down the path.

Quite! It's a bit soon to blame Starmer for everything after 14 years of Tory chaos.

I used to work with a number of young people who really struggled to manage life on their own. They'd offend so they could go back to prison where there were clear boundaries, 3 meals a day and guaranteed accommodation. It's a sign of being institutionalised and a sign of trauma. Really they need to provide him with extensive therapy to work out where this is stemming from and he needs to be leaving prison with a clear care package to help him sustain life in the community. Plus a job and a new support network. It's incredibly difficult.

I worked in drug intervention and offender management for years. The reasons why some people keep returning to prison are many and complex.

Has he had any training in prison?

St Giles Trust is a charity that might be able to help www.stgilestrust.org.uk/

Could the “National Association for the care and resettlement of offenders” help? “Www.nacro.org.uk”.

Perhaps he believes being in Prison is a better alternative than being on the streets. At least there he gets 3 hot meals and a bed.

I never knew going to prison for a small thing could totally ruin your life
What was his life like before prison, op? Was he in education; did he have a job and somewhere to live?

Erm I didn’t. This wasn’t a political post. I was simply pointing out that both the prison and the probation service have less time than ever to work with prisoners and very soon, most short sentence prisoners such as the man OP is discussing will be out at the 40% mark, being handed over to a probation service that is only seeing high risk offenders for weekly supervision. That has just been brought in. By the new government. Thats the facts.
How exactly is stating a fact ‘blaming the new government’?
The point I was trying to make is that the OP says the ‘system’ should see to his ‘basic needs’. What basic needs does she think HMPPS can provide when people who commit crime will be in less contact with the criminal justice system than ever.

Whose ‘fault’ that is was not discussed by me at all.

It's a shame they can't offer them the option of military service for low level non violent crimes, same institutional benefits, food, board, instant community, learn a trade etc. Although can some different but similar issues when returning to civvy street.

He'll have a probation officer allocated to him. They are excellent at signposting. Maybe arrange to speak with them when he comes out and explain your concerns.

There has to be a want to change or it will never happen. You say how can he go on without having his basic needs met, like the rest of us, you work and you meet your own needs, benefits are there to be claimed if it's a low paid job. You need to claim them though

OP has he tried to get a job through the job centre or a work coach while claiming universal credits? While prison or probation won’t currently do much in the way of education and employment, there are other services that can. But it sounds as though it’s not so much a lack of services but more his motivation. Sometimes, if someone is not ready to change their lifestyle, no amount of external support can change them.
If he knows you are there to support him, if and when he is ready he will know where to turn. But until then, nothing anyone can offer will have any real effect.

Has he ever worked and if so what sort of work? Does he have any skills or qualifications? In addition to 'offender friendly' companies I've certainly found employment agencies that will provide work for some ex offenders.

https://www.timpson-group.co.uk/timpson-foundation/ex-offenders/
Timpsons do a lot of work with ex offenders.

The biggest problem for him is the constant cycle of short sentences. There won't be enough time for him to learn anything valuable in custody, or get clean of street drugs, or address any trauma in his past, and probably not enough time for Resettlement to find him accommodation or get him set up with a training course and an interview.

Getting rid of the 14 day recalls would be a start, followed by adequate MH and substance misuse treatment in the community.

The railways offer a six week course after which you are very likely to get a job. There are a few categories of offenders who are excluded - but it is a good avenue to look at. And the pay on the railways is pretty good.

He has not always had a probation officer in the past. Has there been a change that says he will have now?

Yes @olympicprocrastinator he has tried, but job centre are pretty shit tbh. They just say look, but don't really help nowadays. Not like when I was young and it was on a board. I don't know why we even have them anymore.

Also, if the person at the centre is not happy they end it and he robs again.

@mrscat1 I don't know everything he has done, but I know he got sacked from a supermarket job for bottling a customer. I don't know the details. He was stacking the bottles and this customer "talked shit to him". That's all I know.

It was years ago now. I don't know what else he has done in that time. He comes out of prison, goes back within weeks.

Mostly for robbing food and drink. I don't know every reason for past prison time. I think the longest he got was a few years. He goes back for a few months at a time.

@ponypatter44 I think you are right. He does not stay out long enough to build anything, so has little to lose. I'm also starting to understand from this thread that he may never get a job or home.

I think the system is shite. It clearly does not work. It locks them up, but then washes it hands of them, until they get locked up again. Some on here have said DN gets meals and a bed with tv. Like that is any reassurance.

I think this is what is hard for me to understand. People wash their hands of people like my DN, but then think they should get a job and carry on. Not seeing that it's so hard for them to do just that. They don't just disappear. I hope when he comes out, it does not fall apart this time.

I know he has made mistakes, I make no excuse. I just want him to move on and have a happy life. Living his life must be horrible. He has nothing.

If you really want to help, don’t just try to reach out to him when he is out of prison. Recidivism rates are lower for prisoners who maintain relationships with friends and family.

You don’t know what is going on with him, so I suspect you haven’t been communicating with him regularly. Why not start with a letter or an email, whichever his facility uses. Don’t send him money, don’t be overly personal or invasive, just be willing to talk. Over time, you may be able to find ways to encourage him to help himself or for you to help connect him with services.

You're right @ponderingwindow I don't fully know what has been going on in prison. I'm in the dark about a lot of stuff.

I do write to him. He does not really say much though. Nothing about any opportunities. I think a lot is not offered to short stay. Maybe if he were doing a longer time.

I've been thinking about him and his last time out. He always seems so cheerful. He must worry, but hides it well.

I always thought prison was about rehabilitation, but it seems that is total crap for the most part. Easy for the system to take credit when a person has all the family support and financial support there. They seem to do very little for the most part.

Not once has my DN had a job or home lined up when released. I think they walk him to the gate and that is it.

I think for most people it's hard to understand what it's like to lose everything and come out to nothing. No money and no where to even go.

Could Timpson's be an option? They are the shoe repair chain who employ ex prisoners. Their CEO is the Minister for Prisons and passionate about rehabilitation. I suspect your DN may have psychological issues too so might be worth exploring therapy to break the cycle.

He is not forced to commit crime he needs to wake up and realise the 'system' can't be blamed there is not endless staff and resources to stop doing something they freely choose to do and blaming bad childhoods or being misunderstood can only be blamed for so long

Unfortunately if you come out with nowhere to stay, no address to register for benefits, no job and few life skills, how exactly else can you feed yourself? Yes he needs to make major changes but we set people up to fail before they even begin really.

The system is terrible, and the lack of support for offenders when they are released just perpetuates the cycle. Thats why I’m so impressed with James Timpson and his efforts to help https://www.timpson-group.co.uk/timpson-foundation/ex-offenders/