To hate travelling in the car with my DH and to refuse to travel with him anywhere again?

[flowergirl24]

Just on our way back from holiday. My DH has been winding me up so much by his driving. He thinks he’s a good driver. He really isn’t. He’s constantly trying to overtake other vehicles, he drives too fast and too erratically. I have 3DC in the back and I hate the way he drives. He pulls out in front of others, beeps them and is aggressive. He doesn’t stop when the children need a wee unless I’m really persuasive. When I get back, I’d like to tell him that I don’t ever want to go in a vehicle with him again.

If I drive, he’ll constantly tell me to pull out now, go or to speed up. I hate it. Also, I bought his car. Would like to take it off him tbh.

I sympathize with the idea of taking the car away, given his driving behaviour, however, if he is a bully as you say, it could result in worse behaviour towards you. Perhaps take some advice from Womens Aid or similar before doing this.

Obviously, you have to make sure he's not driving the children as much as possible.

Does he have points on his licence yet for speeding or has had speed awareness tests. (keep the documentation on this)

Is the car in his name or yours? Who pays the insurance?
Can you get a black box put on the car right now and say the insurance was cheaper. Then you'd have a record of how he drives in case you need it for future. And also it might make him drive more carefully.

He's a dangerous driver with kids in the car and you describe him as a bully, that's not sustainable in the long term.

My father was like this. For your children’s ’ sake, don’t let him drive any of you. It sounds like he’s a danger to others on the road too.

I will never, ever get in a car again with my father driving, or as a passenger. It’s traumatising.

Definitely take the car away.

I have the opposite problem - my DP drives like a grandad. This week in Cornwall he has driven at 18mph on a lane that was 40 limit, and at 37mph on national speed limit roads. Queues of traffic behind us, leading to dangerous overtaking, tooting of horns and flashing of lights. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.

If your kids are in danger you need to put a stop to it. You know this already I'm sure. He sounds like a dick though. get out.

Exchange the car for one with a really small engine. He won't be overtaking anyone.

If I drive, he’ll constantly tell me to pull out now, go or to speed up. I hate it. Also, I bought his car. Would like to take it off him tbh.

I tend to do a fair bit of the driving here

When my husband tries the back seat driving. I call him Hyacinth, 😆 stops him for a while at least.

What does LTB mean?

Leave The Bastard.

Aaaaaaah 💡 thanks

Stop the car and tell him to walk, if he doesn't like your driving. And don't let him drive with you and the kids in the car till he learns to drive properly. He's a prat.

@Straightouttachelmsford Beeping people is illegal?

Your point?

You are only supposed to use the horn to warn that you are there e.g. if a car reverses towards you, or overtakes and the driver looks unaware that you are on his right.

He could be pulled up for dangerous driving. If he is doing 37 mph in good conditions on a road with the national speed limit (so that's 60mph on a B road and 70 mph on an A road) he is a danger to other drivers and himself. Why does he go so slow?

Is this a recent thing? I ask because I can't help wondering why this has just become a problem or if he has always been like this?

Have you tried having a calm conversation rather than in the moment when emotions are running high?

My dh drives faster / more aggressively than me (imo) but he feels I'm too passive, however we've reached a compromise and try not to say stuff to each other and also be considerate but the truth is no one likes hearing shit about their driving.

If you can't have a calm conversation about it, then you have your answer I guess.

He's got 9 points on his licence ( mainly for breaching 30mph, ironically) so terrified of speeding. I did point out he could do 50 in a 60 and be fine.
We were in Cornwall and he was a bit nervous of the country lanes, so this tendency was exaggerated.
I can't say anything anymore as he threatens to put me out of the car, or sit in the back, but honestly I want to scream when he does this.
On our own road at home (quiet, residential) he does about 11mph 'in case there are children'.
I'm convinced he has ADHD and has trouble concentrating and being in the moment. Whenever he is talking (most of the time) he misses turns, gets in the wrong lane etc
What can I do?

Yanbu.
Don't stay married to a bully who endangers his children's lives and is aggressive and nasty
But your concept of "I bought him a car" is unreasonable. All assets are family assets and when you divorce (asap I hope) the starting point should be assuming that everything, regardless of who originally paid/earned the money, should be split 50:50 (with variation if one of you will have the children more of the time)

He will contine to drive your children around in a cruel and unsafe way though.