To hate travelling in the car with my DH and to refuse to travel with him anywhere again?

[flowergirl24]

Just on our way back from holiday. My DH has been winding me up so much by his driving. He thinks he’s a good driver. He really isn’t. He’s constantly trying to overtake other vehicles, he drives too fast and too erratically. I have 3DC in the back and I hate the way he drives. He pulls out in front of others, beeps them and is aggressive. He doesn’t stop when the children need a wee unless I’m really persuasive. When I get back, I’d like to tell him that I don’t ever want to go in a vehicle with him again.

If I drive, he’ll constantly tell me to pull out now, go or to speed up. I hate it. Also, I bought his car. Would like to take it off him tbh.

YANBU but I’m guessing this is the top of the iceberg with his shitty behaviour?

Are the DC his children?

He sounds like an unsafe driver and I wouldn’t allow him to drive my kids - I value my kids’ lives more than I would care about upsetting my DH by refusing to put my kids in a car with him.

Also, nobody is that shit in isolation.

Yanbu about his driving. I wouldn’t be getting in the car and neither would my kids.

But the whole ‘I bought the car so want to take it away because until he behaves’ unreasonable.

I am going to guess the relationship is generally an unhappy one, though? Does he act like a child a lot?

He sounds like a plonker.

What else is wrong in the marriage? You sound like you’re at your wits end. Nobody in their right mind would consider taking a car away from a spouse. It would be relationship ending for most and could be construed as abusive/controlling.

Yes they are our DC children.

The driving is the tip of the iceberg OP. I’ll cut to the chase: LTB. (Only slightly joking)

"If I drive, he’ll constantly tell me to pull out now, go or to speed up."

As soon as it's safe to stop, pull over at the side of the road and ask if he would prefer to walk. I only ever had to do this once (works best if you are in the middle of nowhere and it's raining). Worked a treat and he still manages to keep quiet years later.

Honestly, this is such a sick move by your DH putting both you and the children at risk. I’d be having a serious word and if no improvement I’d remove him from the insurance if it’s not his car.

The kids being made to hold is abusive.

I agree with pp that he's abusive in other ways.

Beeping people is illegal too.

Why did you buy him a car?

Oh and YANBU

It's a good first step towards leaving him. I did the same.

Because, essentially, he’s a bully.

Hi OP, sorry for your experience. It is a nightmare driving with someone who engages in the behaviour you describe whilst driving; also, for him to tell you what to do whilst you are driving. I went on holiday not so long ago with a family member and we hired a car. She was so unbelievably critical and cautious of my driving, constantly telling me what to do/what not to do. It was infuriating and I would never share a car with her again. I do think YABU in taking the car off him? That isn't going to work. Neither is never travelling with him again, you have a family together. Time for some serious discussion re driving 'rules'; easier said than done. Good Luck

Once my dh drove me and dc down the central reservation of the A1.... Hadn't realised he was pissed..
I reported him for drink driving and filed for divorce the next day..
Your dh is an abusive cunt. Disregard the drunk detail and divorce him anyway.

And there's your answer my darling, in a nutshell. You need to get your children and yourself out of this situation, swiftly and safely. 💕

Why didn't you drive?

Regardless he sounds like a twat.

ugh, I feel for you. Absolutely do what you need to do. Such dickish behaviour and not fair on your children to have to see that.

You tell him that he can drive however he likes when it's only his life on the line. When he has you and the children in the car then he drives legally and safely, or the car will be off limits to him.

And if he tells you how to drive he gets out of the car.

Leave him

Bullies don't change.

You need to stop enabling this out of control bully immediately.
It sounds like he may not only injure (or worse) his own family but also endanger innocent road users. I am sorry you have to go through, what I am sure, will be a difficult time removing access to the vehicle. No decent person could live with the repercussions if you don't.

But the problem is, I will never be able to stop him driving the children will I? If we split up, he’ll be even worse with the children.

Yes, "he's a bully" says it all.

What would a life without him look like? (I'm thinking divorce, not murder!)

So it’s your car?

Anyway I would take over driving, have music or a talking book on, and ignore all his comments on your driving