How do you deal with flying monkeys : people you don't know well but know they speak the words of their controller

[Flyingmmonkeys]

. ?? I've got a several days wedding with flying monkeys from my sister.
An ex flying monkey told me my sister (much older) is obsessed with me and overwhelming jealous. People I know less than aqantences have been vile to me , people I don't know have been vile and other family members I don't see much have been vile and they all feel sorry for her? They use the same phrases about me she uses
What do you say? How do you combat it she's extremely good at what she does ie turning family members away.

That’s a good one!

‘Please don’t look at me through my sisters eyes’
’you don’t know me’

”Good grief, she hasn’t seen me for over 20 years. You’d think she’d be bored with that by now.”

The best thing to do is say we are here to celebrate X, this really isn't appropriate, excuse me.

Then walk away.

@55andlovinglife@55andlovinglife that's hilarious 🤣

Ignore them. Be yourself. People see the truth in the end, honestly. Doesn't feel that way at the time and often takes years but eventually they figure it out.

Speaking from past experience.

Oh goodness there are some excellent ones also the don't look at me thru her eye you don't know me

Some very good comebacks here. It's definitely about being able to shut people down and not getting drawn into trying to justify yourself to them.

I hope you feel better prepared to face up to any nastiness that comes your way, have a good time at the wedding OP.

The best thing you can do is to be yourself.

Most people don't take family gossip at face value and will make their own minds up about the person they meet rather than the stories they have been fed (much like the person you went on to date at the pub).

Being yourself and nothing like the person your sister describes will lead people to question her character, not yours.

You have had some good responses here and I'd be tempted to go along the lines of "you might want to be wary of forging opinions about people based on her evaluation of them. If I did that I wouldn't be speaking to half the people in this room, including you". Then change the subject completely and start talking about how lovely the wedding venue is or similar.

Although it probably feels good to think of some retorts, I think it’s unlikely that anyone will directly confront you on rumours they’ve heard via your sister.

Its more likely that some guests might be a bit off with you or perhaps avoid you (?) and all that you can do is rise above that, remain polite and friendly and hope that they judge you on your attitude and behaviour, rather than anything they’ve heard.

Try not to be paranoid that anyone glancing your way is hostile, or has bought into gossip.

A family wedding is definitely not the time to bring up grievances you have with your sister or try to get people on your “side” so unless anything is mentioned, I wouldn’t initiate that.

And remember most reasonable people’s minds aren’t “controlled” by someone else.

If your sister has addiction issues and some sort of personality disorder that must be pretty noticeable to people close to her, therefore any rumours about you will be taken with a pinch of salt.

I hope it goes smoothly and you can enjoy the celebrations.

You need peaceful barb on instagram. A bit cutesy but she talks a lot of sense.

www.instagram.com/p/C-givVeS-g_/?igsh=bzQwdHN6dHdhb3Mx