To be a bit concerned about DD's age gap relationship?

[QuirkyLemonBird]

My DD 24 has recently begun a relationship with a man who is 29, I know there is nothing inappropriate about the age gap but I can't help but feel a bit uneasy at the different stages in life they may possible be at. DD is not sure if she wants kids, her new boyfriend doesn't want kids now but in 5 years he will be 34. Now at that age I would imagine a lot of men would want to settle down and have start having children. However, DD has told me she can't see herself wanting children in 5 years when she is 29.

DD has told me she has fallen head over heels in love with him and doesn't know what the best course of action is? They have been dating since the spring so not very long at all. The relationship may not even last so would it be bad advice to advise to DD that she should just take things as they go and enjoy the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and not worry about things which are a few years down the line?

That's not much of an age gap. It's fine.

do you not think she is intelligent enough to make her own good decisions?

I really wouldn't see an issue with this at all. It isn't really an age gap tbh. They may not be compatible but a lot can change in a few years and your daughter or he may feel differently. I would more ask questions like how are things going to keep the communication open.

I would not have thanked my mum for commenting at that age, but would have appreciated knowing she was there to talk to if needed. It is still so early days and she can just have fun for now.

I opened this expecting there to be a huge age gap, 5 years is nothing at all.

I wouldn’t even say that’s an age gap, and a lot can change in 5 years. 5 years ago I was sure I wanted to wait awhile before we had children and my husband felt the same, about 2 years ago we both started talking and decided that actually we were broody, we wanted a baby, we were financially ready etc and we now have a baby girl.

Missed a line out. I was basically saying that I agree with you, just have fun for now and don't worry so much about years down the line

That doesn’t seem a big gap to me? Plus it’s a new relationship, you’re skipping ahead a somewhat!

5 years is nothing. Leave her to it.

I don't think it's much of an issue that way round. Men often don't feel the urge to settle down as early as women anyway they don't have such an issue with biology as women. He will easily be able to farther children well into his 60's (as some men do) so such a small age gap really isn't a problem.

Just let her be happy and enjoy herself.

She’s a grown woman, a 5 year age gap at her age is insignificant.

5 years? Non issue

5 years is honestly nothing.
Men can have babies at whatever age, so it’s not like in 5 years his time will be running out. As long as she doesn’t feel pressured and they have frank, honest and regular conversations about what they want and where they are heading (which any couple should do!) then I don’t see a problem.

I think it’s a really good age gap. They are similar levels of maturity (women maturing faster than men), probably on a similar timetable of wanting marriage and children in 5-7 years, he will be getting established in a career so she can see what she is getting etc etc.

I think you and DD are worrying unnecessarily, and putting the cart before the horse respectively. They've only recently met and have loads of time to discuss their respective future plans, if and when they both decide the other will be part of that future. The age gap is of no consequence. They are well within the remit of peers so you shouldn't worry on thst score. They'll figure it out. The only advice I'd give to DD is always to be honest and true to yourself and never compromise your life goals or lead a man to believe you will to keep him.

That’s not a significant age gap.

she is a grown woman.

stop being controlling and let her make her own decisions.

Exactly.

Five years is a long way off, anything could happen.

24 and 29 is not an ‘age gap relationship’.

When did we start seeing every relationship as 'the one'? Does it matter if she has fun for a few months and then moves on? When I was young I had a number of relationships with a mix of people including one with a big age gap. Neither of us saw it as a long term relationship but it was alot of fun.

Has she come to you with these concerns looking for advice or how did all of this worry come about?

Enjoy it for now, see where it goes! Panicking over nothing!

I'd say the opposite - lots of women turning 30 are wanting ok settle down but are with men their own age who aren't interested. By dating a man 5 years older there is more it a chance they'll be at the same stages in life.

Of course, they may break up by Christmas. But really that's not an age gap to worry about

Age gap relationship? It’s normal for women to be attracted to slightly older men for maturity reasons, not odd in the slightest and I can’t believe you’d question it, but maybe I’m the one living on another planet? 😂

Agree with everyone else, I’d say that’s a pretty average age gap between partners, they are both in their 20s and sound like they are on the same page. Nobody knows what’s around the corner, it’s early days, whether they want children or not shouldn’t even come into it at this stage.

5 years is fine. Normal. My DDs find men the same age are often childish and not ready for a girlfriend.

Lord.This with bells on.

That's not an age gap.

Wtf is your real problem?

The fact she's a grown up?