To be a bit concerned about DD's age gap relationship?

[QuirkyLemonBird]

My DD 24 has recently begun a relationship with a man who is 29, I know there is nothing inappropriate about the age gap but I can't help but feel a bit uneasy at the different stages in life they may possible be at. DD is not sure if she wants kids, her new boyfriend doesn't want kids now but in 5 years he will be 34. Now at that age I would imagine a lot of men would want to settle down and have start having children. However, DD has told me she can't see herself wanting children in 5 years when she is 29.

DD has told me she has fallen head over heels in love with him and doesn't know what the best course of action is? They have been dating since the spring so not very long at all. The relationship may not even last so would it be bad advice to advise to DD that she should just take things as they go and enjoy the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and not worry about things which are a few years down the line?

5 years under or over I would consider my age group. We would have similar references. You are over thinking.

5 years is not an age gap ffs. I’ve got 14 between my husband and me. What the issue? You don’t like him? Or rather what’s the REAL issue?

YABU.

Let them be. This is far too much input from a parent providing there are no real red flags.

This isn’t an age gap.

It's really not an age gap at all. Some men never feel the urge to have kids, they just don't use contraception and are happy enough to go along with it. Some are completely anti, some change their minds as relationships progress.
For now of course she should just enjoy the moment.
She's plenty of time to think about children. She doesn't need to rush into it. Neither of them want that now and they're having a great time. All round sounds positive I'd say.
I can't really see any red flags?

I had a larger age gap, and we met when I was still a teenager. We are happily married with kids. It worked really well. We were both ready to settle down at about the same point, but still had plenty of fun before doing so, and he had had a good chunk of time in his career before we had kids, so we could afford a family-sized house in a nice area and afford for me to take plenty of time off work when the kids were small.

I really wouldn't worry about that age gap. Dh is 3 years older than me and we met when we were quite a bit younger than your dd and her boyfriend. I had assumed he was the same age as me and was a bit surprised to find out he was a bit older and a "proper grown up" who could drive and needed to shave but I soon got over it and we've been together 23 years now.

Was that a typo and you meant 39? Otherwise you are being ridiculous

What is the current obsession with really unproblematic "age gaps"?

Sweet Jesus I was 22 and my now husband was 26 when we started going out. similar age gap to your daughter and boyfriend. what's wrong woth it ? we now together 19 years and married for 2. but out and let your daughter enjoy it. it might not last then again it might

I was 27 when I met Mr Monkey and he was 36. Still here 18 years later.

YABU.

The children thing is for them to figure out

5 years isn't an age gap relationship, they're both in their twenties! There's 4 years between DH and myself, so when I was 24, he was 28. We were on the same page life stage wise.

That is in no way an age gap!! I thought when I opened the thread it would be a 20yr old with a 45yr old or something!!
I don’t understand why you are worrying about this they are a similar age. Your daughter will figure out what she wants you don’t need to figure it out for her.

I bet the OP is one of those women who would call her man a 'toyboy' and call herself a 'cougar' if she was 2 years older than him! 😆

And yes I have known women do this! 'Oooooh he's my toyboy! ' (When she's 45 and he's 42.) 🙄

This is the perfect age gap. You are just making a post about general commenting, chatting

When DH and I married I was 24 and he was 29,exactly the same ages and gap as your DH and her BF. We have been happily married now for 37 years.

This is a total non-issue.

YANBU. Simply ridiculous.

That really isn't an age gap. I married DH at the same ages...30 years later and still unnoticeable.

I wouldn’t even consider that to be a significant age gap at all.
DH was 39 when we had our first DC and I was 35, they have loads of time.

I don't even know why you're even thinking about it, it's not like your dd is a teenager. Plenty old enough to make her own decisions without your input.

I would say that is a very small age gap, to be honest, and that they'll both change as the years pass. 29 isn't particularly young to have children, should they decide they want them in 5 years time...

My husband is 22 years older than me and he is, without doubt, my best friend. We might have very different pasts (he is from a different country) but we a very much united in our goals for the future. 8 years together so far, many more to come.

5 years seems to be the sweet spot between men and women, in terms of growing up and settling down. My parents are 10 years apart and my husband and I 20, and all of us are happy! although I certainly accept we are the exception not the rule 😂

All sounds perfectly fine and normal to me. I was 27 when I met Dh and he was 21. He was in his 3rd year of uni and I was long since done uni. I’m sure his family raised a few eyebrows 😂 though they never mentioned it.

He did know from the start that realistically, as I was older, children would need to be on my schedule. He could have run for the hills if he’d wanted to. We got married when he was 24 and dd was born when he was 25. We’ve been together 15 years now. The age gap has never been an issue. He was sensible and mature enough to make the decision for himself. You have to trust your dd is also sensible and knows herself well enough to choose what’s right for her.

I don't think that is a big age gap but I can see what you. I can see your concerns. They may not be on the same timelines, which can potentially be an issue later on. I see witnessed this happened. In experience my happiness and longest relationship seem when couples are near the same age.