To refuse to see a health visitor?

[silveratone]

I'm expecting my 3rd and really don't want the health vision snooping around.
Am I able to refuse this? Has anyone refused?
I'm happy to go to weigh in clinics and see them I just don't want them in my home.

I've never found them helpful and haven't seen them since my kids were 2 years old and 6 weeks old. It's supposed to be an opt in service yet the way they go about it means it's more opt out. Definitely not necessary though if you don't want to.

You’re not required to see the health visitor, it’s your decision.

It sounds like you’ve had bad experiences with them in the past?

You can refuse them, absolutely.

I didn't, but they only came round once, immediately after we were discharged from the midwife. Haven't seen them since, really - two checks, 12 months and 24 months, but at a local medical centre, and not with our actual HV. Nothing else at home.

Why?
Isn't it easier for you post partum for them to pop round and check you and baby are ok?
Probably only get one visit anyway if you are all ok??
It's also important for safeguarding that ALL children are seen at least once in own home.

Or do you have a reason not to? Growing weed on the windowsill?, your drinking and taking drugs, EX L Bully dog? Boyfriend who is a sex offender? Living in a dirty messy house with rubbish over the floor???
If none of the above just get in with having your visit and be grateful your child is in a safe and loving home. many children are not!

The midwife comes over the day after you’re discharged so someone will see you and your baby even if you opt out of the health visitor. Mine drove me batty, I’m not having another one but if I did I’d consider not seeing one again.

The midwife will be doing a few home visits after the birth anyway so someone will see the baby at home.

I see no benefit in HVs, especially if you have already had a child. I can't think of a single bit of useful information they provided. And the one I had for DD1 was actively harmful.

You can refuse if you want but I don't know why you would. Health visitors aren't supposed to snoop, they only come to your house to save you struggling out to the clinic with a new baby, or because they are struggling to find clinic space now that most children's centres have closed.

Our health visitor only ever went anywhere in our house apart from the living room once and that was when she was concerned that we had 5 dc in the same bedroom. She came round and had a chat with us and then said that she didn't need to see the bedroom as it wasn't part of her job description to inspect bedrooms. She just wanted to check we didn't want her to msg the council about social housing. But I'd already tidied up especially for her visit and dh had bought them all matching duvets (I don't know why he thought that might make a difference) so she got the grand tour anyway! The bedroom was huge and was originally 2 rooms but the landlord had knocked down the dividing wall in the 1980's. As our dc got older the house needed major work done so we asked the landlord to put the wall back at the same time and we now have 3 dc in one room and 2 in the other.

I declined health visitors with my second. I found their input to quite detrimental to my mental health with my first and they were zero help with establishing breastfeeding etc. I was sent a letter to arrange the first visit and just replied to say no thank you.

I've never heard of a midwife coming to the house and they didn't with my others, maybe it's regional?
I didn't see one with my middle child due to Covid restrictions but I do remember with my first she wanted to see where baby would sleep and went snooping in our bedroom which I didn't like.

I've got 3 children and always found the health visitors extremely annoying.

I always allowed them to visit though....just to make them go away.

My youngest is 3 and I've seen her health visitor once and she is a lying bitch. Said we refused her help and that there was red bull cans everywhere.

1. We don't even drink red bull
2. We already had a 6yo at the time so didn't need her advice.

I’m pregnant with my second and declining the initial home visit they do. Last time she was obsessed with the idea my cat would murder the baby 🙄 I never found them to be helpful, in fact some of the advice we were given was bizarre. once Covid came they all buggered off where we live and the weigh clinic has never been reestablished so I’ll likely still see them postnatally just for weigh ins.

Mine was no help at all. She came at her convenience and it appeared to be a paperwork process where she ticked her boxes without listening. She was unable to provide any advice other than that printed and already available in the blue book or the leaflets. She trotted out the bf and only bf mantra and when I asked questions said she wasn't an expert and to ring the not. FWIW I had mastitis which became infective mastitis and then a breast abscess.

She neither interested nor capable in the baby or me.

For me their involvement was a waste of my time, was in many ways positively harmful vis a vis feeding advice and pushing me into PND. She also instructed me to attend the baby clinic and did not share that that or her involvement was not mandatory. For the state I felt they were a total waste of resources.

I opted out of their services when my baby was seven weeks old and for future babies. If I needed advice I sought it from a suitably qualified doctor. However, we had a lovely home, were married and had middle class incomes and professional jobs. I'm not sure I'd have had the confidence if any aspect of our lives might have conveyed any sort of vulnerability.

I didn’t do anything HV related when I had my first. Had the first visit actually, and she was lovely, but CBA with the rest of it from then on - too much hassle to be available when you’ve got 2 other kids at school, clubs etc. and you want to be out and about with your baby. I just had her 2 year check, sent off the form which is optional anyway but they’ll ring you if you don’t, and declined the follow up appt. No biggie.

This. When I had DD2 I only saw the midwife once in the 10 days after birth. I had things to do and DD1 to take to nursery etc.And she kept calling round while I was out. Didn't see the heath visitor at all for her.( I moved house and went to a different health authority so seemed to slip under the net) When I had DS saw the health visitor at 11 days and again for a 2 year check

I didn't even have the checks at 8 months and two years. I don't think mine had the competence to spot if anything was wrong. If I had any concerns I consulted a specialist:

Intractable wheezing after bronchiolitis (consultant at Royal Brompton who got us on the right track after months of getting nowhere at our local hospital)

Umbilical hernia - got advice and it sorted itself.

Repeated ear infections: ENT specialists and grommets which would not have been provided on the NHS andntheblocal HVs were telling other mothers locally that children with glue ear caught up at about 7 if they were average. My DC weren't going to continue to suffer and were grommets at 16 and 20 months after 11 and 8 ear infections respectively. The grommets transformed their lives in the context of pain and being repeatedly unwell. The NHS wouldn't have done them because their speech was wellndeveloped.

In some areas due to lack of capacity, the primary contact by midwife after discharge is in a clinic I believe.

Mine saved what tiny shred of sanity I had left after my 2nd due to PND

Totally your right to refuse one

I think I'm one of the few that had a good experience. Mine spotted DD's tongue tie, this was after seeing feeding specialists. Told us she wasn't qualified to diagnose them but she could see it was obvious so referred us. When DS was born two years later she'd moved roles and was no longer our HV. However came along with the new one to see the eldest and meet DS. Six months later I was diagnosed with cancer. She had seen my name pop up as a concern from the community nursing team (standard apparently as X2 under 5's in the house). She rang me out of the blue to see how I was doing and asked if she could signpost me to any support or do a visit if I needed. Again she wasn't my HV at this time. Top top woman!

Yes you can opt out of having HV appointments as it’s a voluntary service not a mandatory part of raising your children!

We did with our premature twins purely because they were incredibly annoying, wouldn’t follow guidelines about going by EDD not acutal
birth date for development checks so were telling me that twins were “delayed” at their 6 weeks check up even though they would only have been 5 days old at the time if born when due. Then we would get different HVs calling to book appointments claiming the one we were allocated wasn’t available for a pre-booked appointment but they wouldn’t give a time for the appointment telling me I should stay home to wait for their visits!! One even tried telling me that if I declined their visits, they would report me for “refusing medical care” - but couldn’t tell me who they would report me to or what medical care I was allegedly refusing!! After that claim I called up their team manager and told them we no longer wanted their input and to stop contacting us.

Yes it is voluntary, just politely say you have no need of a visit.

@LovedFedAndNoonesDead you have hit the nail on the head. A significant issue is the lack of transparency about whether the service is mandatory or not. It is not but that information is never ventured.

Am I the only person who actually likes their HV?! She's been lovely the entire time. Never looked around the house and loved our dog. She's been very helpful as well with regards to getting me GP appointments when I couldn't get through to the surgery myself.

That’s really concerning. Those kind of gossipy untrue statements get repeated and recorded then at some point turn into ‘facts’ so I would recommend you do a subject access request to the HV service and if this is recorded on your notes go to the ICO to have it amended

I said no thank you politely twice and even to the head of HVs. They got another HV to phone me up despite my wishes. Only when I complained formally were my rights explained and acknowledged. My complaint in relation to rudeness and capability was upheld.