Alone with 3 week old newborn

[SoHotandPregnant87]

AIBU to think I'll be fine completely alone with 3 week old newborn for 5 days?

DH would normally be on paternity but a big work opportunity has come up which would benefit it us long term. I'm having a planned c section and he would have to fly (long haul) when baby would be 18 days. My parents are coming over to help when baby is 23 days. DH would come back a few days later.

We live abroad and I have zero support without DH. Would it be a nightmare? My parents could change their flights to come sooner but it would cost a lot of money.

First baby so not sure what to expect.

Vote YABU if you think my parents should change their flights and come sooner!

You’ll be exhausted but fine xx

Tbh I vote YABU! Weeks 2-3 they have a growth spurt so it can be quite full on feeding wise. If it's really impossible you'll definitely make it work but fill the freezer and prepare your parents to clean the house when they arrive!

You will do fine.

You'll be fine. Don't plan anything except for snuggling up with your baby. Make sure the fridge is stocked of easy to grab meals, and sleep when your baby sleeps.

No way of knowing how you will be- I would get your parents to come sooner.
(I’ve had 4 c-sections).

It’s probably doable. Not ideal, but doable. Can you buy in any help? I’d plan very little, but have some easy meals available.

You'll be fine. My husband works away and he left us for work the first time for 3 weeks when my baby was only 5 weeks old. You just crack on because you have to.
The only caveat would be if she is a super colicky baby who doesnt sleep, you might need a bit of support then

Oh yes DH has already planned what to cook for me and leave me with enough food so I don't have to cook at all. And he'll do a big clean before he goes (he's a very good egg!)

You'll likely be fine. If you do feel overwhelmed once the baby arrives, especially if you're experiencing any postnatal anxiety or depression, you could rethink then perhaps. Make sure you've got lots of pre-prepared meals and snacks in so you can just grab stuff if the baby is clingy or feeding lots.

Oh gosh - just clocked you'll have had a C section. You may still be in a bit of pain then. I was for a couple of weeks after and into week three.

You’ll be fine! The only thing to consider is you won’t be able to drive but you’ll be fine if you get deliveries and have a stocked freezer and pantry.

You’ll be ok. It may be very hard but you can cope for 5 days. Having plenty of food in which you can prepare and eat with one hand is the main thing!

Also have a number of someone you can call, just in case. Even if it’s someone you wouldn’t normally. An aquaintance, DH’s boss, whoever. Most people will step up in an emergency.

With a c section it just depends. I hugely struggled with the recovery of my first section and I would have struggled having to pick the baby out of the cot by myself every single time, getting her in and out if the bath every time or just not having help if I was struggling to get from lying to standing if my pain relief had worn off.

If all is going well you’ll likely be fine but if you run into any complications it could be hard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Can you look into mothers helps or doulas as a back up if you really have no friends who might be able to pop round for a bit?

You'll be fine - don't put any pressure on yourself, other than looking after you and baby, and resting when you can.

Also, given you’ll have had a c section, stay on the pain medication! Don’t attempt to wean off early.

I think it’s fine if your dh pre helps with everything. So enough food pre prepared for you, and general food in fridge filled. Baby supplies like nappies all in. Baby laundry up to date. House clean.

At 3 weeks dh did most that stuff, and I breastfed Ds every hour! Dh didn’t change most nappies also to give me a 5 min break before feeding baby again, but it was fine for me to do.

I didn’t have c section but was definitely walking with baby in pram or sling every day at 3 weeks. Even if it’s just local

You’ll be absolutely fine. Genuinely. Tired but happy.

You'll probably be fine as long as no complications after the birth. If you've got everything you need, food and nappies etc you can just veg out at home with baby and feed and snuggle. Might be a good idea to let a neighbour know you'll be home alone with a newborn just in case. Most people love babies so a good opportunity to get to know your neighbours? It would be nice to have someone on standby in case of emergencies!

I think it will be fine and I had two sections

I had a c section and would have been fine.

But I had no complications and could drive a week later.

I also had friends in my complex who could help if I needed it (I didn't) and one was an ex midwife!

I would have things in place like he does a decent shop including goodies. He batch cooks before he goes of leaves the take out leaflets handy!

It's a bit like the how longs a piece of string question!

Can you rearrange your parents flights 2 weeks post partum (practically and financially) if you aren't ok and need them to come early?

@Izzymoon @TooManyTabs

oh no, were you in pain even at 3 weeks after the C section? I thought weeks 1-2 are bad but by week 3 I thought I'd be picking him up and walking around the house comfortably?

You will be fine. We are self employed and dh never had time off. We had 4 in 6 years and I was alone with no family help.

Granted I was very lucky and no complications.

Do you have any family or friends you can call if you did need help?

A baby doesn’t need to be bathed that often. It’s actually not good for skin at that age, our midwife told us max once a week the first 3 months as skin gets so flaky (unless actually needed ie poop disaster).
So if your dh bathed baby the day before he leaves, a bath 5-7 days later if perfectly normal .
If you use flannels or cheeky wipes to clean baby bum, they are getting a decent ish wash 10 times a day

You can't tell how you're going to feel, if you really don't have any back up plan you need to get your parents to come earlier....