Alone with 3 week old newborn

[SoHotandPregnant87]

AIBU to think I'll be fine completely alone with 3 week old newborn for 5 days?

DH would normally be on paternity but a big work opportunity has come up which would benefit it us long term. I'm having a planned c section and he would have to fly (long haul) when baby would be 18 days. My parents are coming over to help when baby is 23 days. DH would come back a few days later.

We live abroad and I have zero support without DH. Would it be a nightmare? My parents could change their flights to come sooner but it would cost a lot of money.

First baby so not sure what to expect.

Vote YABU if you think my parents should change their flights and come sooner!

You'll be fine. My (now ex) h went on a business trip when dd2 was 6 days old and dd1 was 2. No paternity in the USA then. It was actually simpler just doing it myself

I did it 3.5 weeks post partum (emergency c section) with twins for a couple of weeks. Husband was nowhere to be seen and had no support whatsoever. Plus, dog.
Not fun, but we survived!

You'll be absolutely fine.

For 5 days everything else can take a back seat and you can just focus on baby and you.

Ready meals in freezer, cupboards and fridge full so you don't need to worry about shopping or cooking. Get husband to help make sure house is clean and tidy with all washing done before he goes so you don't start on the back foot. Keep up with the bits you can if you can and if not, it's only 5 days.

Enjoy 5 days in a lovely little bubble with your baby.

I was up and about in no time after my planned section. Driving again by day 13. By day 18 you should be well able to get about but just don't over do it.

My baby was born 8 weeks early and was in nicu I had an emergency cs I had to get a bus to the hospital 6 days after he was born as my partner was at work. I actually think it helped my recovery having to move so much but I was only 23 not sure I could do it now

Thanks again everyone, helpful to hear some good stories too! I've called my parents and they're happy to come early, so I won't take my chances. They were a little bit happy to be needed actually, my mum's found it hard being so far away from me and not being able to do the usual mum stuff for me!!

The problem with a big storm or a hurricane is that patio furniture needs moving, buckets of water filled, everything from the fridge has to go in a cooler, hurricane shutters need pulling etc and then there's 24 hours of no water or electricity. It's hard work and I'd really struggle by myself. And if the storm forms after he's gone but before my parents arrive, my parents' flight will be delayed by a few days so I'd be alone even longer!! We have a lot of false alarms as well, so you think a storm is coming but then it changes direction but by that point flights have been cancelled etc, the region is chaos at this time of year!

You'll probably be fine, but if your parents are able to come earlier and that could help you then it makes sense to do that

At 3 weeks I still wasnt able to pick my baby up by myself or carry her around the house sufficiently. I was in pain up to about 8 weeks after my section.

My husband couldn't get paternity until my twins were 4 weeks old so I was alone at 3 weeks with two.

Granted I hadn't had a section, but I did have two babies. Honestly though, while I was exhausted I was in baby heaven.

what do you think single parents do?

I was still struggling to carry my baby around the house 3 weeks post emergency c section. My husband went back to work after 2 weeks so I did manage it but it was very unpleasant, and I can remember the relief when he got home every evening! I did also get an infection in hospital and was quite poorly so that may have amplified the pain. But if your parents are able to come sooner and help make your life easier, I would ask them to. Hopefully you'll be fine but am sure extra hands would be welcome 😊

I've not had a C-section so u sure about that but hear recovery from a planned one can be smoother compared to an emergency one - I've got friends who had emergency first time, planned second and said the difference in huge.

It does depend on the baby, my second was a very content baby, she fed well and slept and this would have been easy. My first was colicky and had trouble latching, hated sleep; I would have struggled.

You will be okay. I had a difficult delivery and recovery and my ex had to go back to night shifts 4 days after I gave birth as he was new to the job. It was hard but actually in the long run I enjoyed it. Hated when he was home and upset our routine 😂 you'll still be in your baby bubble. My mum was a great help in the day time cooking and doing some cleaning for me. X

You will be fine.

So glad you've decided to get your parents to come early. Why make things harder for yourself than you have to. I didn't have a C section but I was still an emotional and physical wreck post partum after DD1 and the anticipation of being completely on my own would have been horrendous. My Mum was with us for the first few weeks and she did everything for me, I just spent the entire time on the sofa BFing. When she went home DH took his paternity leave then my sister came and it was really only at that point that I was beginning to feel able to get out of the house and interact with other people. And that was after a normal delivery.

When I had my second I had a completely different experience, it was an easy birth, I was back home the same day, she BF very efficiently and got herself into a routine very quickly. By 3 weeks I felt great, when DH had his paternity leave (again after DM had left) we went out every day with both DC and had a great staycation. It was a completely different experience.

DS was born prematurely and we were in hospital for 9 days. I felt physically fine myself but was very anxious about him for months.

Edited to add: each birth is a different experience and you (and we) have no idea how you'll feel. Far better to have your parents with you so if you feel terrible you've got support. If you feel great then you can have a lovely time with your parents without your DH. Win win.

Absolutely

You’ll be fine, although knackered but make sure that you have lots of easily accessible food and can get through the five days without lifting anything heavier than the baby.

I was on my own with my newborn from when he was 2 weeks old all day and some nights as DH worked and still works shifts. When DS1 was 20 months I had DS2. Had them both on my own. No family nearby.

The worst was when they were ill. DH either slept through or was at work.

When you have no choice you just get on with it. You’ll be ok. DC is your baby and you know what to do OPz.

It will be tricky but doable. I would have some backup in place, however, if you are living away from family I would.ake sure you have a friend or if necessary a paid nanny who you could call on in the event that you become unwell and need additional support.

planned section here, also on my own.

I was out for short walks with baby on a sling at 8 days.

you'll be knackered - I was on a 3hourly pump and feed cycle as he lost too much weight in the couple days after birth so very tired but mobile and just ticked along.

didn't worry about the house etc and lived mainly on pizza or toast as I could eat it one handed

recovery from a planned section is much easier then an emergency one.