Husband exaggerating AIBU

[herecomesthesunyes]

My husband was retelling a story last night to our teenage boys. I had said “we need to move that piano” (it needs moved back after the room was carpeted). He had said do you realise how hard we’ve tried to move that piano?! I was laughing because as soon as I said it I realised it was a cheeky thing to say. Anyway it was all good humoured. Then the teenage boys came back and he said do you know what mum just said? I was laughing because I knew I was going to get a roasting (again all good fun) and he said “she said you need to move that bloody piano”. Now I had not used the word bloody. And in my view that changed the tone of what I’d said. It was blatantly untrue. I said “I did not say bloody piano”. He’s now embarrassed (he denies this but he did look embarrassed when I said it) and annoyed at my “overreaction” in his view. (He’s a kind man and wouldn’t have done it to make me look bad, it was for story telling effect.)

i said quietly to him when we were walking home that I’d noticed he was increasingly exaggerating stories for effect. I have never mentioned this to him before as I wouldn’t embarrass him. But I notice it. And it annoys me.i find it hard in public when he’s telling these stories as I know he’s embellishing. He also misremembers things (quite conveniently stuff that puts him in a bad light gets changed in his memory over time). Again there’s no malicious intent just human nature but it is annoying and I notice it. We’ve been married 25 years so have a lot of history together.

I am quite sensitive to my kids’ view of me. He’s very easy going and I’m more uptight. We’re on holiday and I’m struggling a bit with smoky and noisy atmospheres when we’re out and the kids have picked up on this. So I am probably even more sensitive to him making me look bad than I would normally be.

so AIBU?

YANBU. My husband does this, so I call him out every time. It’s not very attractive.

@DustyLee123 do you call him out in front of others? If so how does he react? Normally I let it go. This is the first time I’ve properly done it.

My DH does this and gets quite narky when I correct him in front of people; now I only do if it actually matters as in makes me or someone else we know look bad. Then I’ll say afterwards to him about it, it’s very annoying but I suspect he’s done it for years but because I’ve now been there for most of his stories it’s more noticeable

Everyone embellishes stories when retelling them. This feels a bit like a non-issue.

Why are you sensitive to what your kids think about you? That feels like an odd thing to say and stood out to me more than anything else.

If DH does this I ask him if we’re getting the Hollywood version 🙄

Afterwards he got upset and said now he feels he can’t tell stories without worrying that I’ll correct him in minor details. I got more annoyed then as I felt manipulated. Just tell the truth mate and you don’t need to worry! But as I pointed out I’ve let all his other exaggerations go without comment until this one! Quite annoyed again.

I couldn’t get bothered about this!

Got a bit confused, so what's actually happened to the piano?

Well it sounds like you overreacted and are a bit uptight (to use your words) in my view. Though I appreciate that if annoying things happen repeatedly you become more sensitised.

This.

Actually I don’t embellish stories.

i am menopausal so have had a hard time the last few months and have been more up and down than usual. I am on HRT now but find I’m much less tolerant than I used to be. My husband is very chilled and kind and they adore him. So I suppose I’m sensitive to be seen as the grumpy one. I often have to fight against my inner grump!

You're really overreacting.

Sorry it probably is confusing! It needs moved back after the room was recarpeted. They tried but it was really hard. It weighs a ton!

He’s a kind man and wouldn’t have done it to make me look bad, it was for story telling effect.

I mean…case closed, surely? That’s entirely normal and he sounds lovely.

I can see it might be irritating but maybe just call him out when he does it. Either that or do the same to him!

You've been together 25 years perhaps you are just getting a bit more sensitive about it now.

What happened to the piano?

thanks @Plimsoll73 I probably am!

I think you overreacted. Lots of people embellish for drama or comedy value, or they simply tell the story as they remember it.

Yes he is lovely. I posted more to know if I was being unreasonable to call him out.

I think because I don’t do this it feels dishonest to me. But good to know that lots do. I didn’t realise.

I’ve had this issue to deal with too.

Same story repeated for example about something at work. Could be months apart, but each time embellishing how good he was or how much a Director had praised him.

I call him out on it now because to me it’s a form of lying and I’ve had enough of that in life to deal with.

Exaggerating a story for comic effect is really normal and I wouldn't have given a shit. I think you need to unclench.

@AhBiscuits i get that, but how about if it makes you look bad? That wouldn’t bother you? In front of your kids?

@PashaMinaMio that does sound annoying. I wonder if they realise they’re doing it?

It's because the story gets a reaction so it lays down a neural pathway to do it again. You either need a jokey standard response that is the same every time. Or repeat boring factual info. Or just say you feel slightly wounded but that depends if its a clanger.

I make stories sound more entertaining than they were to amuse people all the time, sounds like you're being quite over sensitive to me