To think this is fucking crazy

[itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow]

We’re en route to a holiday rental in France. I wasn’t sure if the pool was shared or not between other guests so emailed the owner to ask. This is his reply - which I put in to google translate
Could you tell me if sharing the swimming pool with us who occupy the ground floor bothers you and for what reason? Recently we refused the rental because the wife and the two young daughters were veiled; are you english or muslim? We do not want you to make the trip and see yourself refused access to our property for reasons of displaying religious beliefs which are very resented by the neighborhood.

Fuck Fuck Fuck
What the hell do I do?
I am not a Muslim.
I am also not a racist.

Hi,

Reading this in French- he doesnt sound like he's trying to be rude, more like he's reminding you that there is a cultural difference which he has to abide by. French is much more direct than English as English has these passive agreesive polite terms where English speakers know exactly what is meant. It does sound super rude in English though. Saying that, maybe I'm reading it that way - I think you'll know the second you arrive..

As previously stated "the term 'Islamophobia' is used as a way to close down conversation about the topic. As you intend."

There is certainly an intersection between anti-Muslimism feeling and racism, but they should not be conflated.

I meant medical, sorry.

Update: we have arrived and the owners are 84 and 85 (they told us proudly). They don’t speak English. It’s a tiny village in Provence.
They’ve been here 50 years. They seem incredibly sweet and can’t do enough for us.
Racism comes in many forms, I guess.

I don’t know what to think, to be honest, other than I don’t think I’ll come to this area again.

Thanks for the comments. It’s given me a lot to think about.

No, his message wasn't rude, just racist. He doesn't "have" to abide by the racism of his neighbours, he is choosing to.

When I was a teen, my grandmother was very racist towards Germans, despite being a very sweet person. She was even nice to our german friends when they came with us in holiday! But yet could make horrible generic comments at other times. It took years for us to get her to change her views, and a lot of exposure to German people and modern culture.

I think any dent you can make by talking to them openly is a step forward.

Honestly you asked them about whether yhe pool was shared, in their (obviously very extensive) experience people who ask this question often do for religious reasons. They were simply giving you useful information about the area you're going to..if you went to Saudi Arabia would you find it racist to be asked to cover up?

What???
No they weren’t.
They were saying that if we were veiled then we would be asked to leave because veils are not acceptable to them or the wider community.
it’s got fuck all to do with the swimming pool.

I hope you have a lovely time; don't let this spoil your holiday while you're there.

Islamophobia doesn’t make sense in this context - it’s fear of Islam. It’s a made up word which doesn’t really fit in racism discussion.
It would be interesting to understand what really happened with the pool. Sounds like a lot is lost in the elderly person use of language and the actual situation.

personally. Would not jump to conclusions about the “people in this region of France”
It could be one person with an issue, perhaps an ill person and this couple trying to avoid a situation.

Yet your ‘principles’ were put to one side in favour of having a holiday. If you really felt so strongly about it, you would have foregone the holiday. I am saying that the apparent outrage is yet not enough to move accommodation.
I would not choose to go to Iran or the ME in a million years. However if I ended up there I would not be allowed to wear whatever I wanted to wear (and I would respect that) so I have no issue with western countries imposing the same rules.

They've been there for 50 years? Probably still seen as 'incomers' by some!

What does Woke even mean?
He's written blatantly racist remarks.
Don't have to be 'Woke' to think that's messed up.

So it's racist when western countries have dress codes but not racist when middle Eastern countries do, OK OP carry on.

Correct.
I did not cancel the holiday.
That would have been the morally and ethically right thing to do but my family also want/have paid for a holiday. We would have had to go home and I’m not sure who that would have benefitted. The owners of the villa would have kept the money.
I'm not saying I feel ok about all of this. I don’t.

@itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow don’t listen to goady racism apologists. Have a great time with your family and leave his message verbatim in your review.

Fuck him and his ilk, I think there are more of us decent minded folk than bitter racists.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Especially those who don’t think his racism is a problem

You’ve nothing to feel bad about OP, it’s not your fault you found all this out en route. You ‘d not even have known had it not been for a chance question about the pool.

hope you all have a lovely time

This is an incredibly silly argument. Because they didn't say abd it's not illegal to wear a hijab in France, so op would not be breaking any laws even if she was.
It's also funny you accuse her or bypassing principles, would you be prepared to take a £££££ hit out of your hard earned money and holiday? It's obviously easy to tell other people to miss out.

She wasn't checking out his opinion, she was asking about the pool. His answer revealed that he holds objectionable views ('are you Muslim or English?' )
and may also be illegal (I'd be interested in clarification on whether laïcité rules do apply in this scenario ie is the pool/house area classified as public or private space?

How did your stay go OP?

Yep it’s always a silly argument to say western people must accept other people’s rules but the reverse must not apply.

When Muslim countries can make their own ‘laws’ without abiding or adhering to human rights, there really isn’t a point in even discussing legalities.

We are still here and it’s really lovely. Just trying to put it to one side and learn from the experience.
Incidentally I was chatting to teenage DD yesterday about injustice (which sounds very worthy but actually we were working through her profound disappointment and outrage that I declined her request to buy her a Longchamp bag) and I was heartened that she already knew ‘Islam says if we see injustice, we should try to challenge it with our actions; if we can't, then we should try to challenge it with words; and if we can't, then we should challenge it in our heart’.
She said ‘I knew that in Primary!’ and I thought well, you’re a few steps ahead of me and how great that you’ve grown up knowing that.

Ha, I was just discussing with my (French) husband last night that most of the UK are entirely naive about how racist the French are towards Muslims and POC.

So entirely possible it was meant as received.

Raises hand for naivety

You misunderstand. it's not about western vs muslims. I think wherever you go, be it Japan, Algeria, Brazil, USA, France, Italy, you should accept and follow local customs and laws.

It is not a law in France to ban the hijab, so what are you even talking about. It's like if I went to any country and the owner of Air bnb told me he likes his guests to walk around naked. It's not a custom, it's not a law, but they just prefer naked people to clothed. The owner of the op's accomodation has a preference to host white guests.