To think the perimenopause years aren’t necessarily all doom and gloom

[chillidoritto]

Just that really! I’m in the peri (late 40s) and was dreading it after reading some peoples’
experiences!

Reassuringly, neither myself nor my friendship group have had any dreadful experiences! Symptoms have been manageable, especially with HRT! I still enjoy a normal social life, normal sex life, hold down a stressful job and most importantly still enjoy life just as much if not more!

I am absolutely NOT dismissing the bad time some women have, just saying it’s not an inevitability. Maybe the HRT is saving us, in which case it is a God send!

I was lucky. My periods stopped at 42 and I've had no symptoms but did get it checked with the GP. Now 51.

To the lady who slated the OP, you have no idea what people are living with. Keep your mouth shut.

I’m peri and having symptoms. Wouldn’t describe as cripplingly debilitating but sufficient it impacts me most days now (tiredness, period every 2 weeks despite mirena, insomnia, brain fog etc.).

I think having read so much in the news, I was expecting even worse and feel comfortable asking for HRT now. Maybe its perspective - when people didn’t know symptoms or help was available - I feel like that would have been even harder.

It hasn’t been plain sailing for me but I guess everyone will have different experiences much like puberty, periods, pregnancy etc.
I’m 50 and been on HRT a couple of years. Had a severe allergic reaction to patches and then was incorrectly prescribed HRT (not given enough progesterone) genuinely thought I was losing the plot for a while. Awful insomnia, night sweats, brain fog and anxiety. Somewhat better now I’m on the correct dose of everything.
just so glad there is more awareness and support now.

Everyone is different.

I'm very grateful for all the talk about peri and the symptoms. I'd been having symptoms for about 2 years before I realised that's what it was. Have been lucky in that I've (so far) avoided the typical hot flushes, but the insomnia, brain fog and rage was awful.

Due to it being talked about more and more people are much more aware of the options available to them and are more likely to seek medical help when needed/wanted. These are positive things.

My big issue is the lack of training for gp's. Many are woefully ignorant of the symptoms of peri and dismis women with anti depressants. Women's health is still not taken seriously by a lot of doctors. I was incredibly lucky that I saw a doctor who was passionate about women's health. Sadly not all get that experience. Not even locally. It's a real lottery as to the kind of medical care you get.

I am with you. Vaginal atrophy has been the most debilitating thing I have ever dealt with and still not sorted. 44 and the state of my vagina is horrific. I am waiting to see a dermatologist after trying numerous creams etc.

Sex drive is fine just unable to have sex due to pain and soreness. Swimming sitting for long periods etc

That's well as having periods and passing clots the size of golf ball. HRT has helped with some things but nothing others.

I was fine until 3 years ago and things crept up on me the atrophy hit me like a train 6 months ago

Interesting comments about ‘medical world is still divided’ - well it shouldn’t be. The NICE guidelines are very clear about HRT and when it should be prescribed.

it does seem to be some GPs are very poorly trained on this

Whoop de doo, yet another "peri isn't a problem, but moaning old crones scaring young women is" thread.

I'm 44 and no symptoms yet... just seem to have a constant insatiable need for cadbury fruit and nut FROM THE FRIDGE

Understandable. I'd live in the fucking fridge if I could get away with it.

I can't take most HRT due to an estrogen sensitive condition.

I'm 44, first noticed symptoms of stress in late 30s.

So far I have changed jobs, negotiated better pay and more WFH (didn't matter as Pandemic changed the whole landscape of work!), decluttered (don't know why just felt the instinct) and organised my home better, learnt to drive, taken up weight lifting (don't know why just felt the urge to lift heavy things).

Been cleaning up diet for years anyway - I try to avoid sugar and eat more healthy fats. I do not cut carb or skip meals. Trying to get more sleep. I'd been cutting down alcohol for years and now don't drink really ever. Decided to focus on less things that I enjoy more. Hit 10k steps daily. Bought a standing desk and walking treadmill. Read more, listen to more podcasts, take free courses online. Take B6, vitamin D, magnesium and evening primrose oil. Write everything down so I don't forget. Wear more cotton. Have bought multiple fans for home when I get hot. Try and spend time outdoors.

I am on a low dose anti depressant but want to stop this eventually - that's my only hack!

I think what's helped has been reading about it more. Rather than ignore it until I have multiple symptoms I have been trying to address each thing as it crops up so I feel more prepared.

Yea out of f 8 of us two had no symptoms other than irregular periods then stopped (last one for me at 56), three had occasional hot flush nothing more, two had enough that they decided to go in low dose HRT, one had the brain fog, bad hot flushes etc so went on higher dose which only partially helped.
I was dreading it as my mother had a terrible time, flooding, hot flushes, the works. I sailed through it.

It’s great if you can have HRT, but I had breast cancer in my 30s and it’s a no. It’s been over 6 years of menopause and it’s been grim. Anyone who has gone through menopause without HRT, I would love to hear your stories.

it does seem to be some GPs are very poorly trained on this

This is my direct experience too. Two middle-aged female GPs couldn't join the dots and see that the 49 year old woman in front of them who was tearful, anxious and complaining of mental health issues for the first time in her life needed HRT not anti-depressants, despite knowing that I had had a hysterectomy 3 years before. A younger male GP took bloods (not protocol) and told me all I needed was folic acid. It was only after reading threads on here and listening to celebs like Kirsty Wark or Mariella Frostrup talking about what was happening to them that the penny dropped and I persuaded GP number 4 to let me try HRT. But the diagnosis came from me, not them.

And it's not about scaring people. It's about letting women know that menopause/peri CAN be more than hot flushes. If women are aware that itching skin, depression/anxiety, urinary/continence issues, muscle aches and insomnia CAN happen, then forewarned is forearmed. If me moaning about how awful it was before I got treated prevents just one woman going through the hell which I went through then I don't care how many people I piss off in the process.

If you are all on HRT then as a group you will all likely have an easier journey. That's what HRT is for after all.

Slightly strange that you wouldn't see this as the main factor in your easy experience

@GreatTheCat am I the “lady” you would like to “shut my mouth”?

well quite apart from how rude, no I won’t! Yes we do know what the OP is going through, menopause wise, because she started a thread to give us the benefit of her experience, at the same time belittling the experience of many many other women. In fact she specifically asked us to comment and vote on it.

So no, I won’t “shut my mouth”.

Definitely disagree that the media should talk less about women’s negative experiences of perimenopause and menopause. There are women I know who weren’t aware of things like joint pain and insomnia and brain fog and thought they were either seriously ill or losing their mind when they started struggling in their mid-40s while still having periods.

If you are sailing through, that’s brilliant, think yourself lucky. It doesn’t mean that women and their families and their employers shouldn’t be informed about what’s happening to them when they ARE struggling.

I had the exact same but can’t have HRT because I have had breast cancer. Every single time I see someone say HRT saved their life I feel more depressed. Cancer is the gift that keeps on giving 16 years later.

So rude. Other people are entitled to give their opinion. That’s the whole point of the forum.

How am I belittling anyone?

Because you're talking dismissively about women sharing their experiences. "Doom and gloom" ffs. Women having a hard time approaching menopause aren't doing so in order to piss you off. Why do you feel the need to "counter" what they're saying?

As others have said, if you're taking hrt then 1) you yourself have had symptoms problematic enough that they required medical treatment; and 2) your experience of peri is obviously affected by it, hopefully positively.

In addition, if you're in your late 40s just how many years did you spend getting worried by other women talking about menopause? Because I am in my 50s and it sure as shit wasn't talked about when I was in my late 40s. It's been part of public discourse for three, four years tops. You can't have heard much about it until you were there yourself.

I’m not. I’m talking about people who delight in scaring younger women, yes some people struggle but for those who can take HRT, life can still be great. And for those who can’t or choose not to, they don’t all have a bad time!

You must just be surrounding yourself with weird people if they "delight in scaring younger women." I'm well into the menopause and have never met anyone like that. More likely it's just you choosing to interpret people talking about their experiences in the most negative way possible and bitching about them

Hmmm

My experience so far (I’m 42) is that in the last year I’ve:

Really gone off caring what the hell other human beings think. I’ve actually managed to distance myself emotionally from people who are takers and see them for what they are. That bit I like.

Gone off sex. No libido, wouldn’t be bothered if I never had sex again

Sweat sometimes at night

Hair is like crazy straggly straw.

I feel somehow weaker - my body aches and hurts a bit more

Episodes of sleeplessness - I sometimes lie in bed feeling wired for an hour or so before I drop off

No rage, thankfully. My mum had a very early menopause, she was all done and dusted by 46

Why would they delight in scaring younger women? I don’t get it. Some people have a horrendous time in perimenopause. That’s a fact. They should be listened to, not shut down.