To think the perimenopause years aren’t necessarily all doom and gloom

[chillidoritto]

Just that really! I’m in the peri (late 40s) and was dreading it after reading some peoples’
experiences!

Reassuringly, neither myself nor my friendship group have had any dreadful experiences! Symptoms have been manageable, especially with HRT! I still enjoy a normal social life, normal sex life, hold down a stressful job and most importantly still enjoy life just as much if not more!

I am absolutely NOT dismissing the bad time some women have, just saying it’s not an inevitability. Maybe the HRT is saving us, in which case it is a God send!

I'm mid 40s and peri on HRT. The HRT have almost stopped my night sweats and have had an amazing effect on my moods. I'm as happy now as I've ever been. Life isn't always roses but there's far more highs than lows. I'm rather enjoying this stage of my life...although I do not like my sagging jowls!

No need for that! What’s wrong with a bit of positivity?

Because you make it sound like it’s a personal achievement to sail through the menopause. And I wonder how that makes women who weren’t as lucky as you (because that’s all it is, luck) feel? Like they were wimps for struggling? That they just need to knuckle down and get in with it? It’s all so fucking smug. That’s why I felt there was a need for it!

Not a personal achievement at all! But SOME people who suffer feel it’s OK to scare the crap out of women when there isn’t a need!

I know women who take HRT and are still struggling with various symptoms. 2 are going through breast cancer treatment and regret taking it, both full of anxiety so it's not a fix for everyone.

I'm mid 40s and peri menopausal. I seem to have developed a horrible intolerance to heat and have some flushes. I've changed my diet and it's helped. I wouldn't consider HRT on the advice of friends who are medical professionals. They're told to offer it but said they wouldn't use it themselves or recommend to women in their family and friend group unless they really couldn't cope. I hate other women saying others 'should' take it. No, they should do what they want to, just like you should.

Ok I’ll leave you to your self congratulation and hope that everyone struggling doesn’t feel the same as I did about it.

I guess the cheery positivity can come across as a bit of a slap in the face to women who are in the throes of a tough perimenopause or have gone through one. Even if you aren't doubting the terrible experiences, it might come across as though you think that if only people would think positive, they'd probably be fine, whereas it clearly largely comes down to luck and/or genes. Also, HRT isn't 'always there as an option' for all women.

I'm 52 and having a relatively ok time of it in peri, but I know I'm not out of the woods yet! I'm neither gloomy nor positive about it. It will go how it goes and I'll take that as it comes and deal with it how I can. We all know that it's easy for some and terrible for others, regardless of how positive we are encouraged to be.

I’ve had a few mates say they ‘sailed through’ but then list: broken sleep, being anxious at work, marriage issues, skin issues, heart palpitations etc

i think we tend to under estimate the impact of fluctuating hormones and how it relates to all areas of health

Not a personal achievement at all! But SOME people who suffer feel it’s OK to scare the crap out of women when there isn’t a need!

I've never seen women scaring anyone, just women talking about what they're going through. I'm glad they do as the past women struggled alone. Now they can talk about it openly. Obviously some women breeze through it and it's fine for them to talk about that too although there's not as much to say. Ic you're good, then you're good. According to things I've read and doctor friends, 70-80% of women have symptoms.

Everyone's different, and you are using HRT. It's only been in recent years that knowledge about menopause being more than hot flushes has passed into the mainstream, and many women (me included) are still being fobbed off with anti-depressants and vitamins when they need HRT.

There are some very lucky people who sail through the whole thing with no symptoms at all, others who are totally debilitated with it all.

I’ve suffered a bit due to anxiety and sweating, also seemed to have heavier periods. The main problem I had was that it came as a shock.

My periods never caused me any problems before, no PMT. Wasn’t expecting it so it hit me like a truck lol

(I’m perimenopausal not menopausal obviously)

It certainly wasn’t meant like that. I guess I had been terrified because people seemed to revel in how terrible it would be! If I’d have known that it might actually be OK, it would have saved me some anxiety.

I don't know if OP meant if that way, but I know what you mean.

It's a bit like me coming on and saying that as I conceived both my children on the first month of trying, getting pregnant isn't that difficult. It would be a bit insensitive, especially on a forum full of women.

I'm just not really sure what the point of the thread is. If you're good, then surely you just get on with it as it's not an issue.

Best years of my life have been from menopause onward.

Agree about not realising just how far reaching the health impact can be. I ended up grateful for my symptoms because if I'd just 'sailed through', I might never have found out about the bone health benefits of HRT.

I'm 45 and managing perfectly well.
However, there are many helpful factors.
No kids, no work outside the house, no alcohol, no excess weight, no period problems.
Dreading the time when it changes, if it does.

It certainly wasn’t meant like that. I guess I had been terrified because people seemed to revel in how terrible it would be! If I’d have known that it might actually be OK, it would have saved me some anxiety.

I've genuinely not seen women revelling in it, just women discussing symptoms. Even if they were, it's stupid to not realise that all women are different and just wait and see. You must have presumably had symptoms to go on HRT though anyway.

It’s stating the obvious, but not all women can take hrt .

No, I get that. A friend had to jump through a lot of hoops due to medical history.

for the women who ‘sail’ through it are your periods regular right up until they stop? Im coming up the age of peri and aside from irregular cycles nothing unusable, no painful cramps or anything.

I did. But what I’m saying is that it’s still possible to have a good outcome.

Revelling in it is perhaps not the way to describe it. When I turned 40, im talking about negative Nellie’s who took it up themselves to say “just you wait until the change starts to kick in, it’s all downhill now” etc etc

Oh apologies, I've taken a wrong turn and am in the wrong thread, I'm looking for the 'fucking hell, that perimenopause is a bit of a bastard' thread 😉

No, I get that. A friend had to jump through a lot of hoops due to medical history.

You're really not getting it OP. Some women can't take it, no matter what hoops they jump through.

On reflection I actually think your post is deliberately goady.

🙄

Yes you are being unreasonable inasmuch as everyone is unique, and not everyone has the same experience of perimenopause.

Edited to add that in my experience, the ones whom are most vocal about how terrible perimenopause is are the one who are having a terrible time of it. What is particularly difficult to deal with are those who negate these experiences because they had an easier or no issues at all during their perimenopause. It's similar with menstruation. I had incredibly light painless periods, but had friends who had dreadfully heavy and painful ones. I was always sympathetic and empathetic to their struggles rather than gleeful and dismissive.

Definitely wasn’t being goady. I’m merely saying it doesn’t always have to be something to be dreaded! I know for some people it is