To think the perimenopause years aren’t necessarily all doom and gloom

[chillidoritto]

Just that really! I’m in the peri (late 40s) and was dreading it after reading some peoples’
experiences!

Reassuringly, neither myself nor my friendship group have had any dreadful experiences! Symptoms have been manageable, especially with HRT! I still enjoy a normal social life, normal sex life, hold down a stressful job and most importantly still enjoy life just as much if not more!

I am absolutely NOT dismissing the bad time some women have, just saying it’s not an inevitability. Maybe the HRT is saving us, in which case it is a God send!

Nobody is criticising those who find it hard! I’m just trying to reassure people that when their time comes, it might not be as bad as they were dreading! I was completely dreading it!

I wish someone had told me! Flooding, facial hair anxiety, depression, almost constant hot flushes, brain fog the list goes on. Can't take HRT for medical reasons. My mum's attitude was she didn't have time for it so it didn't happen 🫣 she didn't believe in period pains either 😭

Pre warned is pre-armed.

Well I'm fucking miserable and can't get a doctor's appointment to get anywhere near HRT..so as nice as I can possibly muster. Nice of you to rub it in, but good for you anyway

It's good to hear this and for people to be aware. I personally breezed through the menopause and well on the other side now!

I know some people really suffer but equally I think others feel it's terrible because that's what they're expecting/been told and to be otherwise is "not normal".

Things that definitely help: not being overweight, doing some/any kind of exercise, not drinking/smoking. I think a lot of things that are attributed to the menopause can often be symptoms of just not looking after your health as you get older.

Things that definitely help: not being overweight, doing some/any kind of exercise, not drinking/smoking. I think a lot of things that are attributed to the menopause can often be symptoms of just not looking after your health as you get older

I'm not overweight, my diet is excellent, I don't smoke, dont drink a lot and lift heavy weights most of the week and I'm a sweaty, forgetting to use the clutch to change gear brain fog, random crime scene periods, painful joints, itchy skin mess.

This is the sort of blame stuff that doctors come out with.

Oh and now we are into the victim blaming. If you have a bad menopause experience, it's because you haven't looked after yourself. Nice!

FWIW my menopause was/is OK. I, too, manage to "still enjoy a normal social life, normal sex life, hold down a stressful job, and most importantly still enjoy life" like the OP - but all of that is in spite of the menopause.

I too exercise regularly, eat pretty clean, don't smoke (though I do like a drink) and I have no idea what effect that has / hasn't had on my experience.

Personally, I think that people who 'sailed through it" should keep most of their opinions to themselves.

My issue appears to be HRT. Not a single.doctor has mentioned this is a possibility.

Also some.people think they breeze through but are HUGELY out of control and awful to be around (based on three women who were very much convinced everything was fine and had no idea what anyone was talking about apart from a few sweaty episodes) 🙄

I get where op is coming from totally ! She was scared cus of all the horror stories and is just saying don’t be scared u might not have it as bad as u think !!! The child birth stories are a similar thing when people scare you, the good thing is thou when u expecting a horrible experience and it turns out to be ok that’s a bonus I think x

Simply repeating the NHS recommendations on trying to minimise the unwated effects of the menopause. I.e. there are a number of factors you can control yourself to help minimise the effects although we all know this is not a guarantee. Not victim-blaming in any way.

My gynaecologist says that in her experience 1/3 women sail through, 1/3 have minor symptoms and 1/3 severe symptoms. So definitely no need to think everyone has a tough time but the numbers of people who do have a tough time is significant.

I was 49 and had a mirena and really didn't even realise. Sleepless nights started the same time my mother died. Anxiety started the same time the dickhead neighbour started.
Relationship issues started when I started being a but lairy but I've always been a bit lairy tbh. Also currently awaiting an ASD diagnosis 2 years on so it all kind of happened at the same time. What did swing it was the hair loss and the weight gain. Went to see nurse then agter talking to some friends, she didn't even do a test. Said look, you're almost 50 let's start some HRT. I did. Didn't feel a change. Upped the dose. Felt much better. My GPs HRT nurse was amazing and it's the women who have to fight to be heard I feel most sorry for.

But... if periods are still light and regular couldn't that just mean that peri hasn't started yet?! Not saying it'll be awful, but until menopause hits you can't really reflect on your peri experience meaningfully, can you?

Doesn't sound like you are peri menopausal yet if you still have periods. Average age of menopause I think it still 51.

I didn't have any symptoms until my early 50s. HRT did work for me, but getting the dose right, dealing with shortages and changing formulas has made this challenging.

OP, why are you on HRT if you didn’t have any issues in perimenopause?

I didn’t say I never had any symptoms at all - HRT patches took me back to normal very quickly and I didn’t want to risk the symptoms getting worse.

Luckily for me, HRT did that!

Unfortunately I’m one of the people having a difficult time and I’m only 43. Painful sex - no sex drive, bladder issues, lack of sleep, anxiety etc. Struggling to get the dr to take me seriously because I’m “only 43” so not currently on hrt and having lots of tests to eliminate other things while being well aware it’s perimenopause.

Perimenopause doesn’t mean your periods have necessarily stopped. You can be in peri for years before you go into full menopause.

I also get where you’re coming from OP. I’m 49 and have expected awful symptoms for years but they just aren’t here yet. Slight bladder issues (which tbh could be psychological and linked to my job), joints aren’t brilliant sometimes but that’s literally it.

I wonder if I should be on HRT anyway due to heart/bone health but there’s a family history of breast cancer so that scares me. Quite nice to hear some aren’t taking HRT and are ok.

Perversely, my periods were the only thing that weren't affected (and continued to be short, light and regular) during perimenopause. Unfortunately, I had to deal with pretty much ever other issue instead.