Disgusting or Not?

[BargingOnBy]

My partner has the habit of washing his hands and his arms up to the elbows at the kitchen sink and then drying them with the hand towel in the kitchen. He has very hairy arms.

AIBU to think this is disgusting and the hand towel in the kitchen should only be used for drying hands, not other hairy body parts?

I don’t feel that it is hygienic to handle food after I have washed my hands and dried them on the same hand towel that he has used.

You want to go work in a medical setting. Scrubbing in up to your elbows is the only acceptable clean.

And how often does the kitchen towel actually get washed?!

I don’t think I am struggling to cope though

If he is a rural vet I imagine it's eminently sensible to wash up to your elbows.

He is using a hand towel.

This ^^
Take a day off. Get out more.
Do you kiss him? Oral sex? Worry that he doesn’t wash his bottom before bed? That’s a bigger concern don’t you think?
Ask him to pop to the bathroom if it bothers you so much.
Have a separate towel if he won’t. Make it a brightly coloured one such that being a bloke, he doesn’t get confused.

You live in a house that you admit stinks and are wearing a top that you have had on for 5 days worrying about a towel someone has used on clean skin (cleaner than yours will be in that top!)
You have focused entirely on the wrong issue, leave your partner alone and both of you crack on with getting your home in decent order.

All true, but not a matter for my psychiatrist to worry about.

I don't think you're in a good position to state what is or is not a matter for your psychiatrist. Your reaction to his forearms on a towel compared to your own lax personal hygiene is very, very strange and maybe indicative of something else going on.

I have a psychiatrist and psychologist for MH issues. You should bring this up.

Hands are probably one of the dirtiests part of your body, think about all the things that hands touch and do in a day, Forearms will be much cleaner in comparison as they don’t wipe your arse, touch your face, feed the dog, scratch your armpits, empty the litterbox, touch the public toilet door handle etc etc etc. Your hands are touching multiple dirty things every day, and most people aren’t going to remove 100% of germs when washing their hands. Your husbands hands are almost certainly leaving the towel far, far dirtier than his arms.

Thanks, I see.

I'm baffled that you think his arms would be less hygienic than his hands! Hands touch all kinds of stuff all the time. Arms not so much. Besides, if he's washed his arms and hands, then surely both are clean?! Very odd.

So long as he’s not using the kitchen teatowel I see no issue. All the medical people I know wash their hands up to wrists/forearms too as it’s more clinically hygienic. As others suggest, get yourself a separate towel, but, frankly, its the same persons germs/soap and residue whether it’s just hands or a more thorough rinse.

Not changing clothes for nearly a week, living in a smelly house with no clean crockery suggests otherwise.

My husband and I have separate hand towels. Different colours. Mine remain the colour that they started out after being used for a couple of days. His do not. His end up with dirty patches on them because he's an idle fucker who can't be arsed to wash, rinse nor dry them properly. His hands are covered in flaky dead skin and, sometimes, bloody splits because he can't stop picking at them.

Not all hand washing is equal in cleanliness after the fact.

We have a third hand towel out for use only before food handling with the understanding of extra care with hand washing because my immune system is compromised due to serious health conditions.

I'd dry my hands on my clothes before I'd touch his regular hand towel.

I've got my weird notions and he has his. We don't bash each other over our idiosyncrasies.

EVERYONE is weird about something, usually many somethings.

Sometimes we can trace their origin, such as childhood or trauma, sometimes not. It is normal to be weird in your own way.

Don't let internet arseholes call you names. You do not owe them any apologies nor should you accept their despicable shaming of a stranger. Calling someone rank, disgusting, mental and making extremely personal comments to a person who has said they have mental health issues, is beyond giving an opinion that has been sought.

If you don't like him wiping his arms on the hand towel, you don’t like it. Just that. Talk to him. Tell him you know it's irrational but ask him for his understanding. Get him his own colour towels and mind your own business over how he uses them.

So many bullshit threads on Mumsnet at the moment

This one is true

We share towels too. We have 2 bath towels on the go but both use either. I mean we are clean out of the shower when we use them. Surely its no different to sharing your bed sheets (especially in this stuffy weather) Sometimes I wonder how some people on mn ever have sex with their partner given they can't seem to bear touching anything that might have touched their partner or have "germs" on it 😂

Get an arms towel that you store inside a zip lock bag.

Sounds like the ideal germ-breeding environment.

This cannot be true! You have bigger things to worry about, OP.

🤣🤣
You really should have different colours for each person, not just their body parts. Embroider their names onto the labels and hang a hand drawn portrait of each person in front of their pile. You could do a caricature to show your artistic flair and sense of humour.

That's what I do, and I live alone. 🤪

Oh dear...stop being so precious and whingey. Do you really think his arms are dirtier than his hands!

Bet they have a sex towel. I wonder what colour it is?!

Bit harsh