To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

They have each other. Give them credit where it's due. They will probably deal with it better than you appear to have done.

Of course you should let them go. They are 16 and have each other. I used to travel with my sister from when we were 8 & 6 from London to Ireland my mum checked us in at LHR and handed over to stewardesses then we were picked up the other end by family. LHR - JFK is an 8 hour flight not 13 and I am sure your ex will pick them up the other end. This is a great opportunity for them. YABU

Absolutely let them go.
I travelled alone from the uk to JFK alone when I was 15 and I had a change of flight in Dublin…. It was absolutely fine, no reason for any concern.
I’m with others who have said that it’s really important not to transfer fears, let your young adults experience independence and gain confidence so they feel they can master the world!

Hi, I just wanted to pop on and say that I flew by myself when I was 16 and I bloody loved it. I could go to the gate when I wanted, I didn’t have to wait around for anyone else to finish doing what they wanted (it was very stressful flying with my mother - whole other story) and it proved to myself that I was capable of doing everything by myself. It will help your twins no end and it sounds like they will have a lovely holiday. If my little boy was in the same situation, I’d be dropping him off at the airport with a “phone me when you land” and treating myself to a well earned break!

@Dreamholidaynot Is your ex American through a parent or because he was born there? Reason I ask is I’d be more concerned about the girls travelling if they are travelling on visa rather than a an American passport - they and you and your ex could get in serious trouble. If you have an American parent you are considered American and must travel to and out of the USA on an American passport. Look into it, as them getting held by US border agency would not be fun.
travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/travel-legal-considerations/us-citizenship/child-citizenship-act-of-2000.html#:~:text=Section%20320%20of%20the%20Immigration,immigrant%20for%20lawful%20permanent%20residence

At 16 I went to my penfriends for a month - flew on my own (never flown before) to be met at the other end by my penfriends dad, who I'd never seen previously, it was only a 2 hour flight so not as far but your girls will be together, they'll be fine.

They’re 16. In 2 years they’ll possibly be leaving home to go live in a different city. Presumably you’ve been teaching them how to navigate an airport and all about personal safety each time you’ve travelled. They are plenty old enough to make the flight to JFK alone.

Have you asked them if they are happy to do the journey alone ? What iv learnt is sometimes they are more capable than we think and if they arnt worried maybe a bit of faith in them doing it alone may not be so bad ? If Tbey don’t feel confident then u know not to . They will be dropped off and collected at the other end so it’s only the flight that they would need to navigate .

I flew to the USA at age 13 alone to stay with a family friend. I had travelled to the US many times with my family but I was really shy & quiet as a teen. It massively improved my confidence though & such an experience!
You will drop them this end & him pick up the other. Plus can track their phones either end. It will be fine.

Just something to bear in mind though, that if they are travelling unaccompanied they won't be insured whilst on the plane without an adult.

I phoned up our insurance company about this recently as my 17yo is flying out to a destination unaccompanied. He is insured once he touches down and meets his partner at his destination though, and for the duration of his stay. On the return leg, he won't be insured whilst returning home on the flight.

Just something to bear in mind though, that if they are travelling unaccompanied they won't be insured whilst on the plane without an adult.

?? Never heard of that before but I guess it’s worth checking with the insurance provider.

I only know this because I had to check recently otherwise I wouldn't have even known it was an issue and assumed full cover.
Definitely good idea to check with insurance company OP.

Our insurance says this.

It does seem to vary from insurance company to insurance company if children 12 to 17 travel unaccompanied on a flight.

Irrelevant if they have their own travel insurance rather than being a dependent on adults. My son is a " dependent" on my insurance if he travels with me If travelling along he has his own insurance anyway

The point is to check if you need separate insurance! Our policy says what I posted. Others may not have annual insurance or insurance that includes dc on certain trips. I could usually get DDs added on our insurance when travelling alone, for extra cost, other than for beyond 30 days. So it’s reasonable advice to check.

As for immigration - if on a uk passport, surely they need an Esta. Visa waiver?

My DS had his ESTA visa authorised and ready to travel but accepts he may have to get an interview as he is travelling unaccompanied. We have a signed letter for him to present to BC staff as per advice on the ESTA website.

DS is under 18 (17) and can't get his own travel insurance. He's on our annual travel insurance policy. We did look but it's virtually impossible for over 16s to get their own policy unless others know of companies who do this?

Are there companies who offer insurance to under 18s?

Bloody hell, I'd hate it too. But
Staff are really well trained .
There are two of them.
You take them to the airport and check them in.
Dad collects.
Check list of what to do if....
It's probably more controlled than taking a train in the UK.

I have an almost 16 year old and I would definitely allow this and he would be on his own - no twin! The airport palaver isn't that bad if they are reasonably familiar with it and if it's a direct flight so that's fine too. There's not a lot that could go wrong and it's worth it for an amazing holiday.

Yes my son had it Many insurance providers will insure under 18 travelling alone. Would imagine OPs kids would need for medical cover anyway travelling to the US

Allianz definitely. Loads do.

I was looking at MSE site and there was no option for under 18s on that tool 🙈

Doesn't matter anyway, he's now insured on our family policy after querying the cover just to be sure. As you say, very costly if anyone gets unwell in the US!

Staysure also. Most do in fact but u need to phone instead of doing online