To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

They’ll be fine! As above, inform the airline that they are unaccompanied minors (I guess they will know anyway from check in)

Ours went to Perth, Australia first solo flight at 15yrs. She was treated like a queen by staff. Let them go.....

My 15 and 16 year old got a bus and two trains to Gatwick, got off at the right terminal, found their own check in, got on the right flight, arrived at their destination airport and got an airport taxi to where they needed to go last winter. Admittedly it was in Europe, not the US, and I was bricking it and following their phones and their plane on flight radar all the way, but they were fine and it was such good life experience. Yours will be fine x

My 16 year old flew to the US (3 connections). She is neither particularly mature or immature for her age. She was with a friend. I was anxious as there is stuff that can go wrong with connections etc. but a flight with you at one end and him at the other will be fine.

Let them go. It's not 13 hours to JFK, it's about 7. Just make sure you go through what's expected of them when they reach US immigration/security and they'll be fine.

I would allow this. It's a direct flight and there's two of them. The vast bulk of the time they'll be in the air and can hardly get lost.

From one airport to another? Seems reasonable, they can't get lost, plenty of staff available if they need help (unlikely)and they're together.

They’re together, the flight time is about half what you’re thinking, they’ve flown long haul before and they’re 16!! Of course you should let them go.

Once they have navigated the departure airport the duration of the flight doesn't make much of an impact, that's the easiest bit. They will be met at the other end.

I am on the cautious end of MN (eg no overage films, phone restrictions etc), but I let my DD1 fly alone at just 16 for a course in Spain, and she has organisation difficulties.

It's 8 hours to JFK from London, they are together, they have flown a lot and you can talk them through what they need to do. I would absolutely let them go.

It's fine to let them go, they are adults for travel purposes. Children travel younger than that alone

And it's a 7 hour flight max

There are two of them, they're 16, and presumably quite sensible so I think they'll be fine, especially as it's a direct flight.

London to JFK is about 6.5 hours not 13.

It is a direct flight and I assume their dad will meet them at JFK? If they have an ESTA then immigration will be fine - long and annoying but fine!

If you drop them at Heathrow there is very little that can go wrong, boarding planes once you get past check in is simply a matter of following instructions.

How are they generally with using transport?

London to JFK is about eight hours, not 13, and they have an ESTA, an American father and a return ticket, so immigration problems unlikely. No need whatsoever for the airport at either end to be a ‘palaver’. If you don’t think they can handle check-in themselves, stick around and supervise at LHR. They’re not changing flights, so a cancellation just means they come home, they’re not going to be stranded anywhere…?

@Stopandlook

At 16 they are not minors for airline tickets, you can fly as an unaccompanied minor from age 5!

Mumsnet Miracle Thread alert
All posters in agreement.

Make yourself a nice strong coffee and have it with a croissant op. Big breaths.

Stop keeping them tied to your apron strings, let them go, woman!! They’re 16 and are travelling together. My kids have travelled intercontinental on planes since they were 12. You need to let them go or they will leave you and you’ll be the controlling one.

Where did 13 hours come from?!

Unsurprising that there’s sulking going on. They’ll be absolutely fine.

If you would be ok with them eg going to France I don't see much difference, yes, the plan journey is longer but they would be sitting in their seats probably watching films and there are loads of adults/cabin crew around.

Do a bit of problem solving with them before they go eg what would they do if their flight was delayed/lost something etc etc. - don't give them the answers and they will probably surprise and reassure you

Let them do it! As others have said, by 16 and with both of them together, they should be fine and have a whale of a time. A great experience and opportunity for them.

And if the return flight is cancelled or delayed, their dad lives in America so I assume he would help

A compromise could be their dad meets them at the airport the other end and you take them to the airport this end. Then they’re just in airports and a plane by themselves. Very high security areas. You need to unclench on this one.

Let them go. It's not 13 hours.