To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

Won’t let me edit, wanted to clear my post as I realised this has already been addressed, my mistake!

Hey OP it is very normal to feel the way you do, but pleased to see you've considered the replies and are allowing your twins to go.

My 2 children have flown 7 hours regularly to see their Dad where we would pay for the airline accompanied service. I loved that I dropped them off with the service and they had an adult to see them through security etc both ends, but the airline we used removed this service when my children were 14 & 15.

My children still wanted to visit their Dad so it was either I flew with them or, as they'd flown regularly, trust they could figure out getting through security, checking the board for the gate, get to the gate.
I went with the latter though I did ask them to send me a photo to prove they were at the correct gate Lol as we lived 3 hours from the airport!

You can follow the live flight tracker, but their Dad would text to let me know he'd got them too.

The other bonus my children had a few times as unaccompanied minors, they got bumped up to Business Class, jammy things!

My 18 year old relative travelled to the USA on his own. I know that is two years older, but this is someone who was not streetwise, suffered from anxiety and used to get me to do the talking in shops. He breezed through it. A relative met him at the airport at the other end.

There are two in this case hoping to go. If you say no, they will resent you for it even in your old age.

It's a fabulous organization and really brought out the bestin DD2

Some one I went to school with moved from the UK to the USA.
She used to send her kids back to the UK to visit grandparents most school holiday.
They were flying back and forth alone quite regularly from about about ages of 10 / 11.
If a 10 year old can do it two 16 year old should be fine.

It’s a 7.5hr flight and the airlines will look after them.
you can book an unaccompanied ticket. They’ll be fine.

They will never forgive you if you put your foot down, do you really want to die on this hill?

If they are sensible kids that have travelled before, they wil be fine.

It depends on the children concerned, I think 16 is a good age to do this, give some responsibility etc, and if they are mature sensible children it should be fine, if they want to go, I would let them, don't hold them back because of your anxiety, it will end up rubbing off on them and making them anxious too

My 16 year old just flew with a friend to and from Hungary. I was a bit nervous because she can be a bit of a ditz, but she was fine. Teens really need adventures. Let them go.

They could go on their own without question in 2 years. So yeah I'd allow it.

Majority of airlines class16 year olds as adults anyway

I'd absolutely let them go!

My daughter to New Zealand on her own, aged 17 and that involved changing planes in a Brunei.

There's two of them together and it's a direct flight. This is a nothing. Please let them go and wish them a lovely time.

My cousin first did a 24 hour flight on her own at 13. Let them go.

Your issues are not theirs and forcing your own fears on your children is unfair, they aren't alone they have each other .
2 years and they can do as they please and you have absolutely no say so cut the apron strings now

My friends son used to fly on his own to Japan from the age of 8 or 9, and not always direct flights.
You can take them to the UK airport, their DF is presumably collecting them at the other end. Presumably they have been through airports and have flown before?
Are they not able to read departure boards?

I would let my 16 year old fly on his own. I did it at that age. I went to Canada myself to spend the summer with my Aunt and Uncle. I even had a connection.
its an amazing opportunity for them.

SEND THEM UNMIN then they are not "travelling alone"

Hoping you will see this. I traveled back and forth from Asia to the UK as a child for school up to 12 flights a year. My mother much like you was unhappy with me (even at 16) travelling alone which is why until I was 18 I traveled UNMIN. (unaccompanied minor). It is a service the airlines offer for children who need to travel without parents. You pay extra for it but your children are chaperoned through the airport and immigration. They are boarded first and handed over to cabin crew who are responsible for them on the flight. At the other end ground crew collect them off the plane and chaperone them through customs, immigration and baggage collection and hand them over to the adult collecting them at the other end.

He would have been travelling UNMIN. There are no airlines that let children that young travel completely unsupervised. UNMIN is a service you pay extra for where the airline assigns staff to look after a child travelling without parents.

Initially yes, but he continued making that and similar journeys to see his DF through til about 18.

I used to travel alone to the south of France by ferry and train from about 15 (train to London, cross London, train to ferry, train to Paris, cross Paris, train to the south).
What is so difficult for two near adults to be deposited at one airport, direct flight, collected at the other end, both English speaking locations?

They are too old for unaccompanied minor

I'd absolutely let them go

@Whitestuanton At 16, airlines consider them adults.They will be fine to travel together.

My sons nearly 18 and I wouldn't let him travel alone, but he has LD so I don't feel he could cope (he can just about cope with us there) however if they're responsible and able to do it, I'd let them.

Yep agreed her. I'm super cautious and a stress head but there's two of them. They are going to their dad. if there's an issue lots of staff on hand to help. You can even if you're worried (hopefully without embarrassing them) flag this when they check in I bet the staff will reassure you.

Sorry op I didn't mean to repeat what you've already heard. I thought I was just adding to the point it's a good idea to let them go. It's great you have said yes. Wishing them a lovely trip and I hope you enjoy the time to yourself as well.