To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

If they become a US citizen then there might be financial implications in future (obviously not now!) if they don't end up living and working in the US.

See https://www.irs.gov/individuals/international-taxpayers/us-citizens-and-resident-aliens-abroad

Boris Johnston used to be a dual citizen but gave up his US citizenship to avoid tax. See https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/feb/08/boris-johnson-renounces-us-citizenship-record-2016-uk-foreign-secretary?CMP=ShareAndroidAppOther

Glad to see you’ve let them go OP

Just to reassure you further, my DD16 just flew off by herself. It was admittedly only short haul to visit her gran but her flight home was cancelled last minute, we couldn’t find another for 3 days, and on top of that her flight 3 days later was delayed by four hours so she ended up home at 2am. And she coped fine! Yours will love it xx

They’ll be fine if it is a direct flight and they are being picked up at the other end.
I am speaking from experience

So on a previous post, people aren't comfortable letting their 16 year old go a ten min walk at 5.30 to see the sunrise, but happy for their 16 year olds to do a transatlantic flight ro the US. Okay....

"Turbulence"?! Well, thanks for the giggle. Do you think if you're there you'll be able to stop it?

They're 16, not 6. And there's two of them. (If there was one of them, your paranoia would still be silly). "Baddies"? Have you ever heard of anyone being abducted from an airport? Not a thing. You drop them at the airport, he picks them up at the other one.

Tell them to call you if there's cancellations or whatever. Get them to text you once they're in their seats. Make sure they know the procedure, like how many liquids they can have and all that. And then take yourself in hand, get a grip and let them go and have fun.

I went on my first friends holiday with 4 friends when I was 16 - stayed in a family’s apartment in Spain. We had a blast. This was also pre mobile phones so I literally called home to say we had arrived and then once later on in the week. Literally getting on a plane and being met at airport in New York by their dad is not risky at all

I totally agree

I'm a US citizen. Moved to the UK permanently with my husband (non US person) when I was 33. All three of my DC became US citizens at birth, automatically. In addition to long form UK birth certificates, I also had to get a Consular Report of Birth Abroad for all three of them before I could get them US passports. (We are also all UK citizens.) When we travel to the US we have to show our US passports leaving the UK, entering the US, and leaving the US. We only use our UK passports when entering the UK.

It's a tricky situation if the OP's children have not been registerd with the US embassy in the UK - it's possible UK and US immigration will simply treat them as British tourists. But it would be good to know definitively, as it would be hard for them to have to deal with immigration issues on their own.

I tend to be of a more anxious disposition, but I think this is okay. Especially as they will both be together. There’s actually not that much that neither you or your ex can’t assist with in the airport either, so they’ll have to do very little alone.

Totally fine...stop catastrophising

It can be around "13 hours" one way because of the time difference to the east coast (and then only about 3 hours the other way) if you apply local time to take off/landing rather than the actual time in the air.

My daughter is travelling between two countries since she was 10 yo. It is an easy thing, don’t sweat on it.

Yes I would let them go.

Let them go!
What a fabulous birthday gift from dad!
They'll remember it for a lifetime.

When I was younger than that, my parents put me on the train from Cornwall to London and I got myself via taxi and tube to the airport to fly to Germany! And back.

I understand the worry because you are a mother and it's their first time. I was travelling to America on my own before 16 as my moms family live in New York and I stayed with my Grandparents. I would like to reassure you they most likely could do it and be fine. I would let them go, it is a great experience

I let my ds fly unaccompanied to visit my ex from age 13 (route he’d been flying since age 4, parent at each end). And actually on one occasion something did go wrong.. his flight was diverted to another airport due to weather conditions.. do you know what happened? He supported another confused passenger, contacted me and my ex, and made sure the airline knew he was under 16 and therefore wasn’t able to stay in the hotel they were putting people up in. So even with an issue he coped just fine.

Of course they can.

I did the following ALONE

Age 7 flight to Barcelona one way
Age 12 flight to India both ways alone
Age 17 flight to New York alone both ways

they can do it and they are together.

the flights alone were due to the same situation as you. Parents had separated and mum was severely sick. Parents arranged my accompaniment with the airlines. But at age 17 I did it alone. No help. It was FUN.

Definitely let them go, am sure they're fine, I've seen kids younger fly alone for all sorts of reasons. As you are worried am sure you can ask the airline to look out for them, like make sure they get through security and get to boarding gate (or whatever they call it) ok, just to put your mind at rest. But sounds like an amazing opportunity for them, YABU to consider not letting them go.

Took my first solo flight at that age. It’s fine, there are millions of people to ask for info. Any gate person will help youngsters.

Let them go, they will be fine.

16 year old NT twins travelling to their dad's home country on a direct flight - a parent seeing them off and a parent picking them up at the other airport. I think this is fine.

I travelled to America alone at 13 and including a 4 hour layover in Dallas before flying on to JFK. There’s a lot of safety in place for unaccompanied minors. Let them go they’ll be fine.

There are two of them. Let them go.

I flew to Canada every year on my own since I was 8 but went as an unaccompanied minor so my parents would drop me off to the airport staff and my grandpa would be there to meet me at the other side, maybe this would be something the airline would do so it means they're being looked after for peace of mind.