To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

I travelled alone at 16 to the USA from Brazil, lo live there for 1 year as an exchange student (all of them do). Totally fine, I assume their father will pick them up at airport?
Make sure they wise-up about not talking to others or leaving their things unattended, "helping" anyone by taking their baggage or anything on board for anyone, etc....

I would let them as long as they kept in contact when they could.

Yep about 7 hours gate to gate with a bit of variability due winds.

Never seen an explanation for the 13 hours figure…one option was maybe a bit of confusion with the departure and arrival local times of a typical eastbound (e.g. 1900 local out of JFK, might get into London 0700 local or a bit after)

They’d be flying with Assistance

Depends on the airline.

No-one, particularly two teens would be allowed to wander around a airport getting into mischief. The security is too tight. You go in see them through bag drop, the airline staff will direct them. There can be more help depending on the airline. Any issues through the scanner and they'll get help. They then pinpoint their flight on the board and take note what gate they'll be going to and were it is. Then there's just about enough time to look round duty free and eat, much easier and safer than shopping in a city centre and getting a bus home. It's less complicated than our shitshow trains. Because there are two of them, there shouldn't be any issues.

Its fine for them to go. My daughter travelled alone to south Africa at thar age. They have each other

My son went to nz aged 13 as an unaccompanied with the staff supporting him - he loved it and was moved to 1st class towards the end of the journey so he was one of the first off, he thought it was brilliant. I stuffed his hand luggage with snacks, told him in advance and at each stop he sent a text asking where I’d put them! He still remembers the journey and think he got kudos from his friends! Yes you will worry for the entire journey but I bet they will love it. All the best for the hours in the air while you are worrying like a caring parent. X

What a very brave, strong post op, I hope they have a wonderful time

I flew back and forth to the US loads on my own when I was 16. They’ll be fine.

My son flew around the world at the age of 17. It will be fine.

Let them go, you can see them to security, make sure their bags are checked in.and then all they have to go through is security, passports etc, they don't need you there and they need their independence. He will be meeting them at the other end, don't take this away from them.

OP I just want to send you love. I think you should let them go … but I also hear your turmoil and worry as a fellow single mum with an overseas ex.

i hear you & send you very best wishes as you navigate this new stage ❤️❤️❤️

Obviously this was 20 years ago now, but 16 year old me used to fly back from ski resorts with one or more of my younger siblings tow when my dad had to stay on the continent for work afterwards. Often used to fly back to Heathrow or City and thus usher sibling(s) back to Charing Cross to get a train back to our home. It was great for my independence skills, especially as my mum was overprotective.

Let them do it, they’ll love the freedom.

I let my daughter travel on her to US at 16, it was a connecting journey through London Heathrow to Atlanta. I was pretty anxious but went through it all with her and she was very keen to do it. She was fine, she had travelled with us before doing the journey which it sounds like your twins have and that makes a big difference.

what you do need to think about is what they do if something goes wrong ie flight gets cancelled or diverted, flight is overbooked, luggage goes missing.

its good for them, how else do they learn.

I really do understand, it's hard to let them do this kind of thing alone, but they aren't alone are they? they have each other and they have your number, they can call you if they get stuck, can't they?

It sounds like a really wonderful opportunity, just try put your own worries aside and let them fly off and have some fun.

In your shoes I would be stressed and worried too. But I think I would have to let them go. It must be so hard! Good luck x

I went to Canada at 15 to do my work experience. Solo.
stopped in Iceland; stopped and detained by immigration in Canada, met and stayed with some people I didn’t know, and plonked on a greyhound bus for 10 hours to get to my destination.

and then I was driven to Vancouver for a weekend with people I was working with.
Best experience EVER!!!

Yes, I was scared; but I’ve zero fear of travelling alone since!

how do they feel about it?

Sorry I think they will be totally fine to go on thier own

Hi all,
Just to update those who haven't read my previous updates:

• Yes, I have agreed they should go and no, they don't want to have 'assistance'. They feel totally capable. But I'll mention it to the airline
• Yes, I'm still terrified and can't believe I've agreed!
• Yes, dad will pick them up on the other end
• No idea why I said 13hrs, I guess it's something I made up in my mind
• Yes, I'll sort out the logistics of cancellations... And airports are not the place for 'baddies'
• Wow, you're all so brave having flown the world at a young age and sending your kids off with love
• Thank you for all your labours of helping me see that it's more than okay 🤗

I have twins and if it were be I would let them go. Two are much safer than one.

My (just) 15 yo is flying back on his own from France this year… he’s travelled widely and I’d be happy got him to do what yours are doing! There are two of them!

Let them go. I have twins too, and having 2 of them is better than going solo for a longer journey. Hope they have an amazing time!

Take a deep breath, and let them go.
There is the unaccompanied route you can take. But speak to your kids. Ask them what they are comfortable with.
Personally, i think they will be fine, and it will be good for everyone.