To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

I think it's fine. They are together. Airlines have protocols for unaccompanied minors from about the age of 8! It's actually quite normal for families that live across continents. Air stewards are well trained to keep an eye.
But at 16, they will be absolutely fine!

When I was 16 I flew with a friend from the U.K. to Australia, via two stops in the Middle East and Bali, both with long layovers. We then had 10 days in Sydney by ourselves, travelled up by prop plane to Cairns where we spent a week with my aunt and uncle, then flew back via 5 days in Bali by ourselves. It was fine!
Now that I have a 14 year old I am stunned that my parents were so chilled about this but it was all totally fun and I loved it.

Oh bless you op.
Let them go.

And if you can afford it maybe get some counselling for your anxiety? It must be horrible to feel so stressed.
Well dine in raising two competent young women!

It's hard letting go sometimes, but life's adventures is what we are preparing them for aren't we?

Hugs x

I think it's reasonable for them to go, they got each other too!!

I first flew alone when I was 15 years old, from London to Singapore, and it would've been nice if I had someone else with me :)

Cut the umbilical cord and let them go. Up here 16 year olds in Scotland can vote, get married, live in their own house!

Pay for onboard wifi so you can keep in touch.

If they have any issues the airport staff will keep them right!

YABVU _

My kids did something similar at that age (17 & 16) but traveled through SFO where they had to change terminal and onto PHX - they loved it - why wouldn't you let your kids go.....

I also used to travel a lot alone from 13 including to the middle east

Do the twins feel they can cope? I mean once on the plane they just have to sit there.
Explain the procedures for checking in, security, flight boarding ,how to ask for assistance etc. Be on end of phone. They have each other.
I wouldn't stop this amazing holiday ftom happening. I mean at 16 you can get married and have a family.... this is a much easier option.

My 15 year old daughter flew back from Portugal on her own and was fine, I was very nervous too and it's shorter but they also have each other.

In case it helps (and no doubt someone has already said this) - they are likely to have internet access on the plane now so should be able to WhatsApp you en route. This makes me and my anxious child much happier when DH is travelling on long journeys. Hope it goes really well.

It's really not much different than letting them get a train. If anything it's safer. You can help them check in their luggage and walk them to the queue for security. After that they just have to look at a board with their flight gate, if it isn't already given. Airports are well sign posted so they can't miss their gate. They are getting picked up once they get there so, can't get lost there. They will probably just watch TV or go on their phone for 7ish hours like they might do at home anyway. They'll be fine. If it helps you could always get them a prepaid SIM that works in America if you want them to have internet (Airport WiFi isn't always reliable) to communicate with you and whoever is picking them up once they land.

@LostittoBostik That is not true. Dc must be 24 to be unaccompanied on BA these days. Not 8. Under 14, they must be with someone aged 16 or over.

Other airlines are available. AA, for example, will take UMs from the age of 5.

They want to go… let them…. They’ll only learn by doing it

Good result op

Actually my DD was piloting a plane at 16
^

If that's not peak MN I don't know what is

I meant 14, not 24. AA don't on codeshare flights. AA also say you take your child to the gate! How in the UK? This is written for USA travellers.

If it’s any consolation I’ve not come across this gate pass idea before either…it sounds like a US idea…

Unless things have changed in the last few years there’s not a cat in hells chance, certainly in the UK and I suspect mainland Europe, of a non passenger being able to accompany their nearest and dearest airside….

No. There isn’t.

We did use another airline back in the day and it was awful. I think safeguarding means they have tightened up on ages. AA also mention One World Partners too and therefore their service could be restricted on UK flights. In this case there are no issues as DC are 16. Flying at 5 in snd out of uk is difficult I would suggest, partly because of child trafficking.

Our grandparents had jobs at 15...some down the pit! For goodness sake get a grip no wonder we have generations of wet wipes!

I'm not sure harking back to the days when we sent children down the pits and up chimneys etc is really the way to go.

I'd let them go. You can take them to the airport as far as checking in. You'll be there while the airline checks the ESTA etc. Then I assume you are confident that their father will meet them at the other end. There really isn't much that can go wrong inbetween. If it does, there are staff available to help. And it makes a difference that they have flown before and they are together.

@Dreamholidaynot If you don't allow this they'll leave home at the earliest opportunity.

Hardly lol. She belonged to the ATC and they provided the lessons etc. Not something I'd be able to afford a a single parent with a low income

Are you aware of the Air Cadets @coxesorangepippin ?

Inclusive organisation for 12-16 year olds - and they do a lot of 'heavy lifting' volunteering in our area. And teach them lots of proper grown up skills.

London to JFK is 8 hours there, 7 hours back. Is you have got a time of 13 hours, that must be with a change of plane somewhere. Get them a direct flight so it is easier and you don’t have to worry so much