Not entirely sure how to deal with this therefore asking for sensible advice on how to deal with this situation.
I’ve been friends with someone for a few years now. I used to enjoy their company however now can give or take on the basis that I thought we’d find a deeper connection but mostly it ends up in talking about other people. I’m enjoying the outings less. Also started to notice over time a pattern building up. When we go out for dinner and It’s my turn to pay they usually get a main, dessert and a few drinks so between us the bill usually is around £100s.
When it’s their turn to pay, the meal is just main course, no more than one drink and no dessert. Under £50s. what I find a little frustrating is the conversations had are not only about other people but also what ridiculously expensive designer purchase they’re making. And they do frequently buy expensive items. Also gets really annoyed when their other half hasn’t spent x amount on their birthday and Xmas gift.
Also that expectation of lavish gifts was laid out to me therefore for birthdays and Xmas I’ve gifted them pretty expensive gifts but in return I’ve received something worth £20 and second hand gifts.
I have friendships with people I’ve known since my childhood and we just don’t exchange gifts or buy one another dinner and I like that. It’s easy and simple. Or on the odd occasion we do buy each other dinner (rare as we don’t see each other that often) it always equals out. I never take more than I give. Vice versa.
My partner was the person to point out the inconsistency in me buying meals and going out and gifts which I at first brushed over because I didn’t mind but more recently I was just a bit annoyed because it was a shitty cheap meal , superficial conversation, and then talk about their next £3k purchase.
what would you do? I see this person most days as I run into them due to work.
I’ve left some bits out re conversations because it’s quite outing!!