SIL just makes me cringe

[Loopylou83]

SIL is a 5 years older than me and is DH’s sister. She is the eldest of all the siblings DH also had a brother.

Whilst I’ve tried to get along with her, I just find her incredibly cringeworthy in the way she texts, speaks and acts.

She is single after a rather acrimonious divorce and for the last 4 years has lamented about her ex-husband. The rest of DH’s family enable her to play the victim. Every problem is magnified 10x over and the way she behaves you would think nobody else has ever had problems.

When I married DH, her brother, she would send me lots of messages along the lines of she’s always wanted a sister and how we can confide in each other etc. I’ve already got a sister and there’s no way I would confide in her.

I find her unpredictable and you never know what version you’re going to get. She can be incredibly rude and patronising one time and the next acts like she is trying (too hard) to be your best friend.

A while ago we were out with the MIL, her mum, for a birthday lunch. She was flirting at the waiter and then turned to MIL and myself and said it was obvious he fancied her. It was cringeworthy.

Every photo DH or the other brother puts on Facebook or WhatsApp she’s all over it telling them both how good they like with comments like “looking GOOD LITTLE BRO Lots of love BIG SIS” xxxx DHs brother was out a while ago and had had a caricature done. He was joking about it and she she said that the caricaturist was obviously blind as her DH was MUCH BETTER LOOKING than his photo.

I have slowly distanced myself from her as I find her too much - too much drama. This weekend we’ve been treated to various head and shoulder selfies of her enjoying the sunshine with off the shoulder numbers. DH and other brother just thumbs up the pictures but her behaviour just makes me feel embarrassed and it hasn’t gone unnoticed that I’ve stopped putting anything in the family chat.

Is she just cringey or AIBU?!

She just sounds very different to you tbh.
Stop following her on social media if it’s too much for you.

Having a different personality doesn’t inherently make her ‘cringey’. She’s trying, perhaps too hard. Maybe you should try a little too?

YABU
Just distance yourself for yourself.
It's nothing to do with you what she says does acts respond to her brothers.
If you have a problem with her it's your problem, not hers or her brothers.

In-laws are hard at times. Mine are toxic

I have tried, but she crossed the line when she started bad mouthing my family and told me she didn’t think her DB was getting enough bedroom action. I should have added that to the original post.

Yes, yiu should. I can't think why you didn't.

I hate to roll out the old MN cliche but it sounds like you just don't like her.
Everyone can be a bit annoying or needy and cringey sometimes do it's hard to say if yabu.
Obviously you don't have to like her, she's your DH sister not your friend.

Just give a thumbs up or a single word comment. Little effort, costs you nothing and worth it to avoid any resulting drama

Well, this is out of order, but your first post was meh.

I'd be interested to know how she's privy to what goes on in your bedroom. Has your husband invited her in, by complaining that he's not getting enough action?

😳 What did you say?

Indeed.

Tbh for all the sister in laws you could have she doesn’t sound that bad

You don't have to be friends, but you sound so mean. Probably doing her a favor by keeping your distance.

What did your DH say?

You don't have to be best friends, you just have to be civil when you do meet, but if she drives you mad, it's OK to take a step back and as they say in Glasgow, give her "a big body swerve" when possible.

sounds like she is living rent free in your head tbh

let it go

Without being unnecessarily harsh, you sound mean. The sex life thing is weird but if your husband chooses to tell ger that, its him thats weird and cringe. She sounds a bit awkward and potentially a bit down following what seems a tricky divorce. Not sure why you're so affected by her.

You should have added that, yes.

He told me next time to tell her to fuck off and give as good as she gives.

Honestly you sound like one of those hyper-critical, overly dramtic people that inflates every minor micro sized thing people do and makes an issue of it.

You sound dull and lacking in a bit of social adaptability.

For e.g. The flirting with the waiter which you found so 'cringe' what's wrong with going along a bit? 'Oh yeah,he is a bit hot.. maybe you can get his number'and then...move on? First you complain she spends time whinging over her divorce (as if a divorce is an easy thing we're all different in how long it takes to recover) then you complain that enjoys a bit of flirting and putting herself out there.

Going solely by your post, if I was a bit in the dumps and wanted a good night out and it was a choice between you and your SIL I think your SIL would provide the fun.

*that she

Different people (and different families) have different styles of communicating. It is clear you don't like her and are looking to find fault, but nothing you have found to say about her is really that bad.

Going solely by your post, if I was a bit in the dumps and wanted a good night out and it was a choice between you and your SIL I think your SIL would provide the fun.

100%

She sounds fine. You are just incompatible. She doesn't have sisters and you do not have brothers and so you are both probably quite different.

Ah yes, but I guess you hadn't made it up yet.

I think you under-egged the original made up scenario, then over corrected and jumped the shark. Better quit and start a new one

Ignore her. If she asks why you haven't rang her . Tell her your mouth was round her db's penis.
She won't ever ring you again....
I never had any sort of relationship with my sil. She was bloody awful. She was banned from our local mother and baby group for hitting her toddler.... Not my sort of friend.
Dh thought she was great.
He turned out also to be a cunt....

Gosh, the very nerve of her trying to be friends with extended family, cant she see how cool you are!