SIL just makes me cringe

[Loopylou83]

SIL is a 5 years older than me and is DH’s sister. She is the eldest of all the siblings DH also had a brother.

Whilst I’ve tried to get along with her, I just find her incredibly cringeworthy in the way she texts, speaks and acts.

She is single after a rather acrimonious divorce and for the last 4 years has lamented about her ex-husband. The rest of DH’s family enable her to play the victim. Every problem is magnified 10x over and the way she behaves you would think nobody else has ever had problems.

When I married DH, her brother, she would send me lots of messages along the lines of she’s always wanted a sister and how we can confide in each other etc. I’ve already got a sister and there’s no way I would confide in her.

I find her unpredictable and you never know what version you’re going to get. She can be incredibly rude and patronising one time and the next acts like she is trying (too hard) to be your best friend.

A while ago we were out with the MIL, her mum, for a birthday lunch. She was flirting at the waiter and then turned to MIL and myself and said it was obvious he fancied her. It was cringeworthy.

Every photo DH or the other brother puts on Facebook or WhatsApp she’s all over it telling them both how good they like with comments like “looking GOOD LITTLE BRO Lots of love BIG SIS” xxxx DHs brother was out a while ago and had had a caricature done. He was joking about it and she she said that the caricaturist was obviously blind as her DH was MUCH BETTER LOOKING than his photo.

I have slowly distanced myself from her as I find her too much - too much drama. This weekend we’ve been treated to various head and shoulder selfies of her enjoying the sunshine with off the shoulder numbers. DH and other brother just thumbs up the pictures but her behaviour just makes me feel embarrassed and it hasn’t gone unnoticed that I’ve stopped putting anything in the family chat.

Is she just cringey or AIBU?!

It's weird how some posters will embroider the "facts" to get people to agree with them. Why should the opinions of strangers on the internet matter?

They are all anonymous and have no idea who he/she is

Well, I'm actually with you OP. She does sound cringey to me...

You sound like a mean and insecure 13 year old intent on labelling everyone they don't like or gel with as "cringe".

She pulled the short straw getting you as a SIL.

It doesn't hurt just to be nice you know.

She's had a lucky escape.

Tbh it sounds like a you problem. I couldn't get worked up at my partners sisters comments on their pics, or her own selfie uploads on a group chat (oh how scantily clad of her, off the shoulder?! what a temptress). Count your lucky stars you don't have a devil of a SIL who tries to make your life utter hell

Yikes OP - guess this post for support hasn’t gone to plan huh. FWIW - I think you sound pretty awful to her. You have different personalities - so what? She might think you’re a boring, jumped up snobby bellend. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My sister in law and I could not be more different. We have absolutely nothing in common. I socialise with her when required and make her welcome when we host family gatherings.

What I don’t do is fixate on petty annoyances or describe her actions as cringeworthy.

You don’t sound like a nice person, OP.

My SIL is like this, just very different people and she’s a a drama queen. I tend to try and distance myself.

I think she’s full of anxiety and every little thing is a drama which can be quite draining.

Yes, you should.

That is of an entirely different nature to a SM style you find irritating (me too.. but half the country thrive on it so shrug and look the other way)

She sounds lovely. You sound really mean.

And how does she know about your sex life then?

To be honest it sounds as if you added that significant extra “fact” about the comments on your sex life because you didn’t get the validation you wanted from your first post. If this was the money shot why didn’t you put it in the original post?

Your first post just sounded really bitchy, critical and unkind. At worst she just sounded a bit hard work but nothing that would bestir me to post something unkind about a member of my family. All really trivial things which most people would ignore. I find it’s a fairly reliable litmus test of someone’s character that going on about people posting too many selfies is a sign of small mindedness and envy.

I would be prepared to put money on the fact you have invented this alleged remark about your sex life. Just too convenient.

Family chat? Who the hell has family chat?

You sound really jealous. Yabu.

She sounds fine to me.
You sound needlessly cruel though.

I agree with this. You are obviously very different personalities but she doesn't sound malicious or a troublemaker. She is your husband's sister; you need to make an effort

I cringed at your post, OP. Imagine writing all that about somebody you have no time for? I'm sure your sister in law will wise up and distance herself from you; I would.

Mute her posts and leave her alone then perhaps you can stop obsessing about her.

To be honest, going by your first post she sounds quite nice - and it’s ok to be kind to her brothers!! Second post, not so much, but hard to know if you’ve made that extra bit up 🤷‍♀️

Weirdly you say you’re distancing yourself from her, yet seem hugely over invested in her posts on SM, everything she says,does and wears. You’re coming accross as a very unpleasant person who is low level bullying.

I'm sure you've posted all of this before, I remember the lack of bedroom action comment.

I remember the OP posting before about this SIL and the bedroom action comment, so if she did make it up then she did so a fair few months ago.

I don’t understand the issue. Your job as a wife is to be polite to in-laws. You don’t need to like them or get on with them. Just let her comments wash over you and carry on with your life. When you start bad mouthing in-laws or critiquing their personalities, that’s when it gets toxic and starts to impact your marriage. Just leave it.

She sounds like an idiot.
Avoid and be polite if you have to see her at family gatherings.

I'd be asking how she knows the intimate details of your sex life, if you've not told her then only one other person knows the details....

Speak to him!