SIL just makes me cringe

[Loopylou83]

SIL is a 5 years older than me and is DH’s sister. She is the eldest of all the siblings DH also had a brother.

Whilst I’ve tried to get along with her, I just find her incredibly cringeworthy in the way she texts, speaks and acts.

She is single after a rather acrimonious divorce and for the last 4 years has lamented about her ex-husband. The rest of DH’s family enable her to play the victim. Every problem is magnified 10x over and the way she behaves you would think nobody else has ever had problems.

When I married DH, her brother, she would send me lots of messages along the lines of she’s always wanted a sister and how we can confide in each other etc. I’ve already got a sister and there’s no way I would confide in her.

I find her unpredictable and you never know what version you’re going to get. She can be incredibly rude and patronising one time and the next acts like she is trying (too hard) to be your best friend.

A while ago we were out with the MIL, her mum, for a birthday lunch. She was flirting at the waiter and then turned to MIL and myself and said it was obvious he fancied her. It was cringeworthy.

Every photo DH or the other brother puts on Facebook or WhatsApp she’s all over it telling them both how good they like with comments like “looking GOOD LITTLE BRO Lots of love BIG SIS” xxxx DHs brother was out a while ago and had had a caricature done. He was joking about it and she she said that the caricaturist was obviously blind as her DH was MUCH BETTER LOOKING than his photo.

I have slowly distanced myself from her as I find her too much - too much drama. This weekend we’ve been treated to various head and shoulder selfies of her enjoying the sunshine with off the shoulder numbers. DH and other brother just thumbs up the pictures but her behaviour just makes me feel embarrassed and it hasn’t gone unnoticed that I’ve stopped putting anything in the family chat.

Is she just cringey or AIBU?!

This. Give her a swerve. She sounds really annoying😊

It how did she know about OPs sex life? Doesn't seem like OP has told her, so I'll assume the DH has, so no he's not got OPs back. He's whinging to his DS about the lack of shags! Totally cringe and vile 🤢

🤦‍♀️! If only I'd read this before posting!

You should just try to be kind and not judge other people, it will only eat away at you she is none the wiser.

I agree with that and keep your contact to the minimum.

However, when I read what she said about you and your husband's bedroom activity. I was horrified. She definitely crossed the line there,

She may have been joking, I don't know, but she should not have said that, or anything negative about your family. If she does it again, stop her sharply, tell her you don't appreciate such personal remarks and that she has gone too far.

I agree with that and keep your contact to the minimum.

However, when I read what she said about you and your husband's bedroom activity. I was horrified. She definitely crossed the line there,

She may have been joking, I don't know, but she should not have said that, or anything negative about your family. If she does it again, stop her sharply, tell her you don't appreciate such personal remarks and that she has gone too far.

It sounds like you have different personalities and boundaries, that’s life. She clearly wants to get on with you which is great - many people don’t even get that from their in-laws!

My extended family is massive, dysfunctional and can be bloody hard work. My partner’s family are the opposite but he’s embraced my lot and I’m so grateful. If he had the approach you have I’d really struggle because they might be mad but they’re the only family I have and we all love each other, even if it’s sometimes difficult.

Love this

Is this an actual thing? That people's personalities are defined by the gender of their siblings?

No it wouldn’t make me dislike someone I was already friends with. I think it is an off putting quality when meeting new people. I understand the odd selfie but find it really off putting when people post endless ones. There is something so strange about it in grown adults.

Oh it’s so nice to make a general complaint about a family member on the internet. Makes a person look so good.

To me, it sounds like your SIL is having insecurity issues and wants to be liked/loved/ wanted/ to feel attractive/ feel important.

Hmmmmmm

Why didn’t you then?

Nasty post. Would you prefer it if she wrote horrible things instead about her brothers.

Haven't read the full thread but she sounds like Laura from "Him and Her" - the overbearing, self-absorbed sister of one of the main characters. Absolutely cringeworthy. I'd be civil but give her a wide birth where possible.

Bad mouthing your family is out of order if indeed that is what she did. Bad mouthing is a conclusion that you have arrived at but without knowing what she actually said and with what tone she said it, nobody else can conclude her intention. Likewise, with the comment about your sex life, it really depends on the context. Was she jokingly saying that he isn't getting enough because you had mentioned his grumpy mood?
The rest of the stuff is just pathetic nit picking because of a clash of personalities. Maybe you just don't get her sense of humour. People often take me seriously when I make a joke. Either they lack a sense of humour or I am not really as funny as I think. I am just misunderstood 🤣