Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

Eat your chips. Mr Monkey did a 20k run today and has just messaged me to say he has had a roast dinner and three pints of beer - and he is marathon training. 🤣

Nope, but that's mainly because DH has just gone out and got a maccy d's for a cheats tea. I haven't been for a run today or ever

I get you OP, he could have just said 'cool' or 'OK, see you later' or (in the case of my DH) 'I'll have a fillet of fish, chips and a milkshake'

You'll have to let him know that the mumsnet saints say he should just lick a carrot

Don't tell people things unless you're happy for them to judge you on it.

This thread is wild.

OP: I'm annoyed with my DH for making this comment.

MN: You shouldn't bother trying to improve your fitness if you're going to consume anything more than water and fresh air.

I'm not sure why you are annoyed. You are a healthy weight and taking steps to improve your fitness so I wonder if you are feeling a bit insecure about yourself to feel so annoyed about your husbands unwanted remarks or whether he has form for undermining you? I wouldn't react to his comment unless this is part of a pattern, he is clearly not an expert on healthy living. If he has form for subtly putting you down I'd talk to him about it and tell him to cut it out.

Ignore the sanctimonious nonsense on here. Keep going with your fitness plan and enjoying an occasional treat. If I was to offer any advice from personal experience it would be to avoid running in the heat, the run is harder and you feel disappointed with yourself afterwards which isn't a great motivator. Over 3 miles is a great achievement so ignore anyone making out it's nothing.

we are in agreement

Why is everyone saying " 3 miles is nothing" " I can do more" bla bla bla
I would do anything to be able to run ONE mile.
Last year I had to learn to WALK again!!
It's all relative - everything is an achievement when you are reaching your goals!
All the OP wanted was an acknowledgement off her partner!

@theduchessofspork to be fair I did have electrolytes because it was a match, I knew it would be fast paced and it was incredibly hot so I put one of the tablets in my water (took 1.5l)

After drinking the coke and sitting in the shade for a while I felt fine to drive home

I mean if there’s McD likely there was a convenience store too where you could get Gatorade or something like that with electrolytes (and cold) to rehydrate you. Fries when hot and dehydrated make no sense.

You need to eat healthily to feel better maybe?

I don't know why you told him about your planned trip to McDonald's. It almost feels as if it was asking for a comment back. I would have bought and kept sctum and mentioned later if the opportunity came up. You can eat what you like but chips after something healthy seems a bit contrasting (btw I had a cookie when I came back from mine this morning so I'm no angel! 😅).

If the text was literally "you need to eat healthier" it sounds like a rude dig. It's very short and judgemental.

I also find many of the comments criticising the chips + run odd. Maybe you like to run, and maybe you also like chips. Running is excellent for cardio health. You're a normal weight. One portion of chips won't kill you.

Just do you OP and ignore the negative energy from MN and DH.

I think it's a lot too OP when you're starting to run after a break. You seem to have attracted the running bores whose bodies are temples to this thread.

In the real world it's okay to have chips after your run if you fancy them. And he was being patronising and rude.

But she wanted chips.

Tell him you aren't taking health advice from a lardarse!

Cheeky bugger.

That's nearly 12.5 miles, prob used up at least 1300 calories, he NEEDS that roast dinner.
I used to run 42 miles per week, ate loads & still couldnt get my weight back up to 8 stone.

😂

You’re doing great, love, and it’s no wonder you’re fuming. You’re putting the work in—don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Dioralyte are amazing. Ive used them frequently recently during And after covid.

I think I'd just say that he needs to eat healthily EVERY time he eats Greggs etc. when he gets sick of it and asks why you’re doing it, tell him you though that’s what he wanted as he kept offering unasked for advice

Running 3 miles is impressive to me. Kudos. However, "replacing the salt" is a silly excuse. I can understand craving something unhealthy, but to pretend you were actually making a healthy decision is just odd. Maybe that was why your DH responded as he did? I would be puzzled if someone made those choices and told me about them.

Another possibility is that he felt defensive due to his own lack of fitness and the fact that he is overweight. Your reaction to his text seems defensive as well. Could it be a pattern you have fallen into as a couple?

I mean, we’re all different, but I’d never actively choose a Dioralyte.

dreamer24 do you make it clear to him that your exercise is a morally superior activity that he needs to be unquestioningly 110% supportive of by taking on extra childcare?

I only ask because everyone is focusing on the whole health aspect but you are keen to let us know that he's overweight, makes poor food choices and doesn't exercise and that your BMI is 22 and you exercise multiple times per week and cook chicken and vegetables.

I wonder whether perhaps he's a bit pissed off at you being a bit "holier than thou" about your exercise and weight compared to his, whilst expecting him to do extra childcare to support you going the extra mile to look after yourself. If so I can imagine the little snarky remark being a symptom of being pissed off and having held his tongue until now.

This is more often the scenario with dads thinking going to the gym or out cycling for two hours six times per week is sacred and their overweight wife shouldn't say a word about the extra solo childcare, but I'm sure it happens the other way around occasionally...

I have........... more than once! Sometimes I fancy some McDs fries and nowt else.

@piccolorhinoceros that's fine - guess away. I said dietary sodium does next to nothing in hyponatraemia not should absolutely be avoided in normal diets.

I'll go with my years of experience and the years of experience of my colleagues too.

Dietary sodium has its place in a healthy diet at appropriate levels when balanced with everything else.