Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

😂

Has anyone suggested that you have a chip on your shoulder? Eat it quickly before you go home

If your normal communication style is regularly blunt, unnecessary, meaningless 'ok then' / 'good for you', then maybe he was just replying in kind.

You're dizzy after three miles with a bottle of water. That's not normal.

You just had a run, but want chips. Your salt intake BS needs calling out.

He's taking on extra childcare for you to indulge in increasing the amount of running (which you go to and from in the car...)

Maybe be just doesn't care about the specifics of your running and doesn't want to keep hearing about about it.

Agree with this - and you could interpret his message as genuine concern, after you had said you'd felt dizzy and dehydrated, that you might not feel good at all from eating salty chips. We lose the tone in written rather than spoken words, if he was in the same room, you might have got a v different vibe from him

However if you make a big deal of how "good" or similar you are to be exercising and make it clear he is obligated to pick up the childcare over and above his 50% of non work, not n shared hours because exercising isn't leisure time but something noble and sacred, I can understand him being a bit peed off at your message to him at soft play hell,

So you've just made all this up, haven't you.

I do not "make a big deal out of" my exercise. Not at all.

He's at "soft play hell" because I was at soft play hell yesterday and I also took DD to the park this morning so I've done my shift this weekend, thanks. I'm surely entitled to an afternoon off to have a bit of time to myself and a packet of chips afterwards ffs.

I asked dh to stop at the shop and get me cake as I needed the calories after my run the other day. He text back gotcha. Did I need the calories after my run, nope, it was just tongue in cheek, would I have annoyed if dh said 'you need to eat healthier', yup.

Like the OP I'm not even near overweight, I don't run for weightloss, I run for cardiovascular and mental health benefits. It's just a bonus that I can eat cake sometimes and not have to worry about my figure.

The op didn't ask for commentary on what she was eating and just because you go for a run it doesn't mean you have to eat healthily all of the time. And a 3 mile run is better than no run, it all adds up.

Oh I should also point out that before I left for my run I said DD's already been to the park this morning so if you don't fancy braving soft play don't worry, she'll be happy to veg in front of the tv I'm sure! He then chose, of his own accord, to frequent "soft play hell", so on his own head be that choice.

He's taking on extra childcare for you to indulge in increasing the amount of running (which you go to and from in the car...)

Just like the "extra childcare" I take on when he's out with his mates, I'd imagine 🤔

Why even text him ? just eat if you want, no drama

also well done, I think 3miles is a lot & I run

Oh and the drive to the park where I run is 8 minutes, so..... hardly out for the fucking day am I.

You're a medical secretary 🥴 please stop giving medical advice. I actually am a HCP. You said I work in healthcare and we have a big focus on hyponatraemia (low sodium) at the moment. Dietary sodium does next to nothing to replenish your stores. You need electrolytes to an OP who was talking about craving salt after a run. Dietary sodium is sufficient to replenish stores in this case, and salt is an electrolyte (well, technically two)

Running straight after lunch, when the heat is strongest, without enough water, or any electrolytes, til you ended up dizzy, then suggesting chips instead of a balanced meal, does sound like you're not planning, prepping, as well informed as you could be.

I think most partners would be making suggestions, with your wellbeing in mind. MN posters too, as you see.

Your (over) reaction reads like maybe you're all not all recovered and rebalanced yet.

Maybe go for a swim instead in hot weather.... less sweating and sunburn. Agree with the poster that said protein for muscles.

I've just been on holiday in Europe and have been running every other day. I definitely made sure I picked chips at the buffet every night, the salt really helps 😋. I would recommend getting a soft running flask/bottle that you can wear in a bum bag and a spare bottle of water in the car.

Tangent — If I ended up sweating and dizzy and my brain was screaming salt now! my immediate instinct would be to lick my skin. No idea if that has any measurable effect!

@piccolorhinoceros not a medical secretary 🤣 but not arguing with random internet people. If you truly think that McDonalds fries are the best thing for op to consume when she is feeling dizzy after a run then that's fine. I don't think it will do her any harm as a one off.

Maybe being overly generous to him but could he have been worried about uou feeling dizzy and thus suggested uou should eat something healthy instead put of worr

Me too!😂

This.
I don't carry water unless I am doing more than about 6 miles/10km. 3 miles/5km, even at a very slow plod when I first started running in my late 40s was no more than about 40 minutes.

I have never 'craved' water or salt after substantially longer distances.

My Consultant has told me to eat more salt/salt my food to try and help with my dizziness. I don't know why people are acting like chips after a run is such a crazy thing.

Surely your reply would just be

'are you kidding Mr cream cake for lunch?!'

@dreamer24 I think it's fine to gently criticise someone's food choices if that person is visibly overweight and they should be pushed a bit more in the right direction, but your post is clear that you are athletic and in shape (BMI of 22.5 is excellent) so criticism of a one-off choice of McDonalds chips is a bit ridiculous. If I had been in that position, I would have said "fuck off."

I definitely missed a trick here, should have said this 😂

Same here but in reality it’s something I’d be more likely to do 😂 DH would also take the piss out of me!

@dreamer24 tell him it’s better than going for chips without the run 😅

The only time you'll see me running is towards a McDonald's. Don't have time for piousness.