Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

FFS she didn’t ’tempt’ him with anything 😂. Why should she be responsible for his dietary choices as well as her own?
Honestly I’m constantly amazed on here at how posters can make everything the woman’s fault.

I've just got back from a 50 mile cycle with some shitty hills thrown in. Didn't crave salt when I got back but had a sandwich. If I craved salt I could have just licked any part of my body.

Seems a bit nuts to run that far and then consume more calories than you'd have burnt off eating McDonalds fries.

😂😂😂

I have to assume this is a joke.

Or just have a Coke because she fancies a Coke, and life is all about balance.

You don't have to justify why you want a McDonald's to anyone. If you want one, have one!

And the fact YOU go running multiple times a week means you can have a McDonald's. It's the fat couch potatoes that should be 'eating healthily'.

going out for a run in this heat for 3 miles is a win...well done.
nothing wrong with the odd bag of maccies chips..my post run snack of choice is a belgian bun.

its almost like this whole palaver isn't actually about the chips....

Maybe she wasn’t running with the objective of losing weight/burning calories?

I fully support your right to chips if you want them, OP, but I just find myself wondering why you needed to explain to him why you were getting them, or even mention it at all?

Oh grow up, a can of coke is fine. Why do you feel the need to be holier than thou

I ran 9k in full sun earlier then sat and scoffed half a bag of mini marshmallows 😁 no nutritional value at all and I don’t really care, I enjoyed them 😂

of course but no need to recreate a narrative where its absolutely needed to address wooziness after 45 mins movement

im not - I'm saying you can just enjoy it without creating a back story as to why it was essential (or if its really a health thing, make the better health choice)

It’s just chit chat. I say a lot of things to my husband that aren’t strictly ‘necessary’.

@cardibach
I didn't say I needed "more than water" whilst running - I was defending my decision to take a bottle of water when running 3 miles in 23 degree heat, when posters said I didn't need water.

Yeah because a reply saying 'I had a can of coke' would make so much sense without explaining why

OP, your partner is putting you down so that he can fee better about himself.
Ignore him or humour him, whatever is the least stressful for you.
Most of all carry on running/exercising!

I would assume it's partly this - it does sound very much like the greeting card with the Rubenesque beautiful woman explaining to her admirers that she jogs to the cake shop every day.

However if you make a big deal of how "good" or similar you are to be exercising and make it clear he is obligated to pick up the childcare over and above his 50% of non work, not n shared hours because exercising isn't leisure time but something noble and sacred, I can understand him being a bit peed off at your message to him at soft play hell, and replying somewhat archly.

It's more often dads who do this (assume that exercise falls into the same category as work where the other parent being obliged to do over and above their share of solo childcare is concerned because both work and exercise are the same "get out of childcare without questions" tickets. I'm sure there are a few women who do it too (fatty other parent is not allowed to be anything but supportive despite a big imbalance in childcare outside working hours because of hours running, cycling, at the gym etc. because exercising is different to other hobbies or socialising).

@ItsAlrightDarling
Yes - this! It's literally just chit chat, we do jt daily. Like, he texted me before I set off on my run to say "just arrived at the soft play". I equally didn't need to know that information. It's just how we communicate, always have.

@TheShiningCarpet I do take care of myself by exercising and eating lots of fruit and veg
I had high zero tablets in my water but it wasn't enough and I wasn't feeling safe enough to drive as I felt faint
My options were nothing or a can of coke that someone offered me

Isn't it? Bloody hell, I couldn't run 3 miles if I was on fire. I tried couch to 5k and thought I was going to die when it got to the longer bits. And I never thought I was that unfit, walk everywhere as I don't drive and am not in the slightest bit overweight, but man, I can't run. Walked 9 miles today up steep cliff paths, the lot, but two minutes running leaves me at death's flippin' door!

So you know what caused it then do you?

You know for a fact that it wasnt, for example, related to blood sugar in which case coke would be perfect?

You come on - no one needs electrolytes after playing a casual game of netball

What people do need in life is little treats - if you like coke the occasional can after exercise on on a warm day makes life a pleasure

And I'm not creating a narrative
I'm literally saying what happened
Yesterday I did a 45 min spin class and was fine but for whatever reason my body wasn't happy with me after netball
Possibly period related, possibly overheated due to medication, possibly that I'm on meds for allergy to exercise

Next time I'll just pass out, I'm sure that's safer than drinking the one can of full sugar coke I've had this year

I’ve NRTFT but god, don’t tell anyone on here you had Mcd’s at all..do you not know it’s the work of the devil?!! (Well, according to MN)

YANBU. Unless, as someone said before, you have been asking for help and support with your weight and fitness journey and he’s commented based on that.

Maybe it wasn’t the ‘best’ choice but FFS, the odd packet of fries isn’t going to harm you. I know what you mean about craving things, and especially when you feel dizzy, I imagine it seems even more ‘urgent’.

I hope you had the fries and enjoyed them!