Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

I think maybe it just warrants a "Thanks for the advice, Mr Cream Cake For Lunch" rather than a mumsnet thread 😉
It's a bit of a cheek but I couldn't get worked up about it as a standalone comment. It might have been just something to say, because a response seemed required and the general topic was health and fitness - specifically yours, not his. Maybe he's been getting more pointless updates about specific things you are eating than he thinks are reasonable and it's come out in a slightly negative comment?

Well done though, I can barely get off the sofa if it's over 22C, let alone go for a run 😆 don't let him put a damper on that!

I just wouldn’t have told him. My husband often doesn’t know what is going on with me during the day. We wouldn’t text. We would have a catch up in the evening to talk about our days and even then I may not have mentioned it, it’s not a significant event.

Won't it be easier, simpler and cheaper to just carry half-a-spoon of salt wrapped in paper to replenish the salt loss, if it happens regularly? Why would one want to do all that palaver with and at a McDonalds? I am NOT a dietician and not particularly health aware but just guessing and waiting to reader others' advice and thoughts. Sorry.

Are you a very young couple? x

I think maybe it just warrants a "Thanks for the advice, Mr Cream Cake For Lunch"

It sounds like he just gets on and eats it instead of announcing what he's going to eat beforehand inviting comment?

I agree with you it’s all relative! 3 miles is amazing!

I would be annoyed with that kind of comment- and would hope for more support and it could have been that he said would something else be better for protein after your run? Rather than that kind of comment!

I trained at the gym yesterday and was soo sweaty so went for an iced coffee after! If someone had judged me on it I would have been pissed off! It’s also relative to your wider choices so those fries may have stopped you snacking on other things 🙂

I wonder if he may be a bit jealous/ envious of you getting out there and being active? (Not that it’s an excuse!) x

Sorry you mean eat fries.
Then let him eat cake.

Sorry, I see his point.... You need to eat healthily as you're making an effort so don't carnage it by going to McDonald's. And don't judge him, his choice, none of your business.

You need electrolytes and protein after a run. And remember running is awesome for overall wellbeing, cardiovascular health, mental health, burning calories etc. If you want tone, make sure you're on the weights and HIIT.

Impressive work though, it's so very hard getting back into it 👏🏆

I always feel really irritated with myself if I exercise then eat rubbish. So maybe he’s trying to be helpful.

I always get mildly irritated with people who text me this sort of boring stuff though. If you’d of sent that message to me I’d of suggested dioralyte. This is possibly why I’m single.

Eat what you like and well done for having a healthy BMI and running. But MacD's and Greggs are not really going to be looking after your gut biome so there's more to be done if one of you wants to take the moral high ground over the other.

Why?
You can live healthy and build muscles AND at the same time enjoy chips.
Much better than just sitting and pigging out on cakes bcs it is not contradictory.

Do you know what , you went for a run even though it was warm and muggy , well done for getting up and doing something , and do you know what if you craved some fries afterwards so what go get your fries you’ve early them , and for people saying about him doing extra childcare I find this laughable he’s their father he can pick up some childcare it will not hurt him don’t make a woman feel terrible for doing an activity that benefits her health because poor dad had to watch the kids for an hour , you’re all going off about he’s the father 50/50 in other threads he can watch the kids 50/50 for goodness sake . Also the next time he comments on your food tell him you expect he will be making you both a healthy salad for lunch then and no cream cakes . And yes me and husband also text each mundane stuff we don’t see each other all day due to work so we text stupid stuff like on my way home I will message him was starving when I finished work picked up a chocolate bar to eat on the way home . I’m more worried about you people who don’t text your husbands do you really like them ? .

i don’t understand why people are confused at someone wanting to go for a run and wanting to eat chips. She is allowed to do both of these things. And better to go for a run than not go for a run. It’s not all or nothing. And definitely better for you than sitting on the sofa and eating a cream cake, although if someone wants to do that, that’s fine too. Just don’t tell someone else to eat healthy…

I think it's telling the partner before getting them and being annoyed he responded, and justifying them by saying about salt- just get them it's not a big deal!

The info given here is a bit garbled - dietary sodium and electrolytes are more or less the same thing. Drinking electrolytes means they are dietary technically. Electrolyte drinks are basically just salts. You could make up your own with the right combination of sugar, salt and water- if you could be arsed. After a run you need sugars first - the banana provides that along with potassium (salt). Protein is less necessary as it’s replenishing glycogen stores that will help you recover. A 3 mile run probably doesn’t need much replenishing but you should definitely listen to your body and running in heat, if you are not used to it, takes more out of you than you’d expect.

It sounds like you don't even like each other. The contempt you feel for him is obvious.
As for the rest, get a life.

Your partner just said a true comment. That is not manspaining
Have the chips of you want to. You are an adult. But it's a weird way of justifying it

I heard on the radio that 42% of 1000 people said they run solely so that they can eat whatever they want. (Used to be in that camp too so I appreciate it!!😅)

🤣🤣 getting a bit of a pasting here OP for daring to eat chips after a run. I agree he doesn't get an opinion on this and he's got a bit of a cheek.

And all the runners on here telling you what's best to eat post run - an occasional bag of chips post run is not a terrible thing. I daresay you eat well most of the time.

I'm an ultra runner, we mostly exist on pizza, beer and the suchlike post run 🤣🤣.

I run and running when it's hot is hard. Well, running is always hard, hot weather makes it harder. After three miles you probably need water more than anything else but if you fancied chips, why not. Have to say I spend most of my time whilst I'm running fantasising about what I'm going to eat later. Thoughts about a boiled egg and toast are the only reason I managed 15k. I literally could see it in my mind.

yikes that’s awful! How nasty of them and clearly lacking self awareness. I do agree that some men who are not in the best shape themselves are too quick to criticise women for not being size 10. It’s part of misogyny. Well done on putting him in his place.

Op, I haven’t RTFT but you seem to be getting a bit of a hard time here. I lost over 3 stone all the while eating McDonald’s, takeaways, cakes, popcorn etc. I just reduced portions for everything I ate (healthy and unhealthy stuff ) and ate chips and cake say twice a week instead of multiple times a day like I’d been doing before. I went to the gym 3 times a week. After 18 months my fitness had improved massively, my weight reduced and I felt better too. So it’s BS to say there’s no point eating fries after the run. Is it the healthiest option - no. But is it better than sitting on the couch and then going for fries- yes! Something is better than nothing.

But it’s neither here nor there whether someone thinks you made a good food choice or whether they reckons fries is going to suddenly make you overweight overnight or sabotage your entire health journey 🙄

I think the main point that has been derailed is why did your husband gloss over the fact of you feeling unwell and also the achievement you had and go straight to criticise you eating a bag of fries?

If he had said sorry you feel unwell but congrats on the run, perhaps you should just drink some water and fruit juice for energy then make your way back - it would’ve come off as more thoughtful and caring rather than just being critical.

What I don’t understand is why you didn’t immediately say, “you’ve just had a cream cake and sat on the couch, you need to eat healthier and move more too - at least I’m exercising”? Irrespective of his weight the phrase people in glass houses would’ve came to mind!

My partner is very healthy and vegan, and not overweight but even he would’ve said something more encouraging.

My suggestion of what to say to him may come across as blunt, but I prefer to be direct and say something like that to avoid resentment festering and also to set the tone for the relationship. Don’t let him get into the habit of being overly negative and critical of you. I feel some of this thread is driven by you now feeling like you have to justify why you want a bag of chips to him and some posters. No justification needed!

He was out of line, honestly. You should return the favour to him.

Also, the amount of people on here saying chips after a run is funny or counter productive… you can have chips and desserts etc in your diet and still be in a calorie deficit and within daily intake recommendations of salt and fat etc. Especially if you’re exercising. Dieting and eating healthy is all about balance, you don’t have to become a marathon running rabbit to be healthy

Well, the good news is, there are a lot of people who can be meaner than your DH about what you had for lunch, you going for a run, when you went, the distance, the taking water and then the getting chips ... And most of them are on this thread! Absolutely crazy.

So anyway, good on you for stepping up the fitness. I'm glad it brought about a conversation about how you've been feeling.

If someone told me they’d struggled on their run and felt dizzy, I would them to eat something good rather than chips as well. Didn’t he mean it in that way? That you were clearly unwell and struggling and needed something good?