Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

I'm not the one moaning about my partner. What an ignorant horrible way you talk to people. You should just keep your mouth shut.

Thank you for this constructive somewhat aggressive advice 🤣 I shall endeavour to "get a life" 🥱😂🤣😂

You wouldn’t notice your partner eating a Greggs cream cake, or the fact that they’re overweight? Do you walk around with your eyes closed?

🤣

Why would you moan about being advised by your partner to eat healthy but then moan that he eats cream cakes for lunch? Pot and kettle. It just seems odd that you are fuming.

Erm, it is precisely because he ate a cake for lunch that I am reeling at the sheer hypocrisy of him advising me on healthy eating - I assumed the link there was pretty obvious 😆

And you are going to McDonald's. 😂

And I did not mention the cream cake, either to him or Mumsnet, and had no intention to, until he gave me unsolicited advice on what I should eat to be more healthy. The absolute audacity and irony of it was the reason I mentioned it in my post. I do not, on a daily basis, care or pay attention to what he eats. Hope that clarifies.

Yeah, because ‘get a life’ is really polite…

Extra childcare?
Victorian era knocking at your door asking for its ideas back.
He's the father! He is not doing childcare, he is looking after his own child!

I'm just glad I'm not married to either of these people.

This thread... I've not read it all but seriously, of course you are not BU OP, his comment was out of order. Literally anyone in the same position would have been pissed off. The AIBU board is just a board which insists on a character assassination of anyone who posts.

I've noticed 😂
A lot of is just amusement at this point 🤣

Sounds like he was being abit of a twat to me. You cant led an unhealthy lifestyle then attempt to give your 'expert' opinion to someone who is healthy!

and ignore the chip haters! Whilst I doubt you need to replace salt from a short run, even in hot weather there is nothing wrong with satisfying a craving for abit of junk is the rest of your life is very healthy.
Having restrictions and forbidden foods just creates issues with food if you arent careful.
(I plan on having a take away later this week...it wont ruin my diet or destroy the rest of the weeks healthy eating and exercise, and anybody who says it will hasnt got a clue!).

Why tell him what you eat?

Maybe on the next hot day you should walk to McDonalds and drink a Frozen Coke no sugar and then walk home again.
Forget about the run.

Also have a chocolate soft serve cone.

Hint: Stock freezer with Polar Pies and eat one on a hot afternoon instead of taking a walk or run.

LTB.

I Would have tried to make a joke up about it, even though I fully understand why you'd be annoyed.

I think it's more curious than judgemental. I do see the comment as an ok or a huh ok...but it's so interesting that you are really defensive/angry about it
It's about you not him. I think you're feeling insecure and you're maybe not getting the support generally you need from him and so this one message isn't about the message it's about feeling supported and so magnified?
Also how you're talking about him here and his weight is really harsh, and his creak cake. You're words are far more mean and judgemental (albeit venting to us not directed at him) ...this is how you are thinking about him, is it possible this negativity is more that you're making effort and he isn't and so his banal comment is like a red tag to a bull? You're judging you both and he's just not that bothered?
Some soul searching for answers to be honest. I think you're spoiling for a fight and I'm interested in why as one comment does not this big of an issue make. There's got to be more too it

This is totally hypothetical as I haven't brought children up with my husband but if I had been at soft play with child on a hot day and partner has had a bit of me time to enjoy a run on their own then was moaning because they hadn't took enough liquid knowing it was warm etc I would probably say something a bit sarcastic.
But then I have never had chance for any me time and I expect your husband gets plenty.
And I know you are entitled to it but I can't be bothered with people who moan about stuff when it's their own doing.

As a runner, I would go within 1000m of a Macdonald’s after struggling on a run.

You are being unreasonable for repeatedly calling McDonald’s fries ‘chips’. YANBU for eating them.

Why did you feel the need to a) text him.after the run and b) text him.after the run and tell him you were going to McDonald's?

Why didn't you just do it?

If someone phoned me and said I'd had to finish my run at a pretty low distance because i feel dizzy and then went on to talk about replacing salt lost from this fairly short run with mc Donald's chips I'd say something similar because it's tedious and also ridiculous! Why even mention it?

Mansplaining? He isn't "mansplaining" anything.
You're the one that seems bitter about him eating a cake a lunch time - you've mentioned it several times and have even gone as far as calling him names - all because he challenged you on why go for a run then go McDs? Sorry but you're the problem here, and this seems to be about more than cake and "salt" IMO!

If my husband said this to me my reply would be. "Look in a mirror before commenting on my food choices."

OMFG THIS THREAD!!!!!

YANBU OP, obviously. Your DP is an annoying, mansplaining tit.

To all those on this thread saying, well you shouldn’t have gone for a run then eaten chips- bleeeeeeeeeeeep is all I can say.

OP if you want to eat chips, eat chips. Whether you’ve been for a run or not., isn’t anybody’s business except your own.