Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

@dreamer24 YABU!

You'd just done an amazing run, were craving salt and about to put crap in your body, and your DH suggested you eat something healthy instead.

Good for him!

If I'd eaten the chips then I would have felt annoyed with myself and would have been pleased if someone stopped me!

@TwinklyAmberOrca
So you missed the part where he offered me a greggs cream cake a few hours prior? 😂
Tad confusing isn't it.

Anyway just got on the scales and I am 1 whole pound lighter than last week, so the chips obviously haven't undone the 8.5 miles I've ran in total this week 😅

He sounds like an absolute arse, he's sitting on his fat bum stuffing cakes and telling you, who are working hard to keep fit, to eat healthy?

• you're the one that has given birth, so your body will be reacting differently, not him.

Give him a bollocking and tell him to mind his own bloody business and you won't be asking for his ''advice'' every again!

Well done on getting out and moving. I’m very jealous, I’d been on a roll with my exercise and diet but got unwell at the beginning of June and took ages to recover.

Don’t worry, a small portion of chips isn’t going to un-do all of your hard work, as long as the majority of your diet is nutritional.

people on here are weirdly snobby about McDonald’s, if you’d had said fish and chip shop I bet responses would have been different

Wasn't that before the run though? E.g. you would burn it off?

Calories are the same regardless of when you ingest them! If a run burns 300 calories, it doesn't matter when you ate those calories.

@TwinklyAmberOrca
How many calories are in a greggs cream cake? I dread to think. I doubt I'd have burned those off. It is inconsistent though regardless- telling someone they need to eat more healthily when they're considering a small portion of chips when you offered them a cake a few hours prior. Doesn't quite fit.

A calorie is a calorie, whatever time of day you eat it.

No sh*t sherlock!

It's psychosomatic though. If I eat crap and then do exercise then I don't feel so bad.

If I do exercise then eat crap afterwards I feel really bad and annoyed with myself.

The OP isn’t you, though.

@TwinklyAmberOrca
Quite aside from the calories part, if I'd eaten a greggs cream cake an hour before a run I'd have vomited. Genuinely. I have to eat at least 2-3 hours before running. So that's also a reason to turn it down.

But the point remains about the inconsistency in DP's attitude towards eating more healthily.

Because I have far too much time on my hands clearly (😂) - I just googled the difference in calories between a portion of small McD's fries and a greggs vanilla slice (my cake of choice). 230 vs 330.

So I'm still better off with the chips 😂😂

Putting aside what he said, making McDonalds fries your food choice after a run does seem odd. Take some snacks with you and an electrolyte drink next time.

I'm glad he apologised, but I do feel this is more about how you feel about yourself. Your body has changed. It's a bigger deal in your mind than it is in reality. All the things you wrote about your fears that your husband isn't happy with the post-baby you are really about you not being happy with post-baby you. And that's understandable. Your body doesn't look exactly how it did and you want it back. So you are doing something about it. Good for you, BUT...look at yourself more kindly. Listen to what your husband said in his apology and take it on board. He still loves you, he still thinks you are beautiful. You need to think you are, too.

Does that mean you can run at 7am burn 300 calories then eat a 300 calorie cream cake at say 9pm and it doesn’t count as extra calories?

Genuinely, I usually eat nothing post run for at least a good hour. I don't usually feel insistently hungry. But my body was just massively craving salt, like all I could think about was ready salted crisps, it was so random 😅 So I thought; I need salty food that I don't need to get out of my car for, and came up with chips. Obviously if that was my regular go to post run snack it would be silly. But this was of course a one off.

You should have sent him a photo of you eating the chips and a 👍 as a reply.

It doesn’t matter what time you eat the calories. If you eat an extra 300 calories in the morning then do a run at lunchtime and burn 300 calories, it’s exactly the same as not eating the extra 300 calories in the morning, burning 300 calories at lunchtime then eating an extra 300 calories in the afternoon, everything else being equal.

Interesting. I didn’t know that. I thought anything you ate several hours after exercise would only burn off at your next exercise.

I didn’t read all the replies sorry! Next time I would not share the nitty gritty (that is, what food you are going to snack on) and just go ahead and enjoy it. If he asked about it later (if there is a bank transaction and he notices maccas, then consider paying cash to avoid having the conversation). Life it too short to explain everything to everyone if they get in a tizzy about it.

Scientifically, why would that be the case?
I’m saying that the run you do at lunchtime specifically burns the calories you eat at 9pm. It’s your overall calorie intake/expenditure that matters for weight loss (if that’s your goal).

Plus of course your body is burning calories all the time, not just when you exercise. It doesn’t hold on to the cream cake calories until your next run.

I suppose I saw it as burning off calories you already had, not future calories.

But overall, you’re consumed 300 calories and you’ve burned 300 calories.