Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

@BetteLaSwet
He asked me if I wanted one, I said no thanks as I was going for a run and it would have been too heavy on my stomach before exercise. Usually I'd have also eaten one. But not pre-run.

and I've actually just realised the odd inconsistency of asking me if I wanted a cream cake from greggs (which I'd forgotten about till someone asked me then) and then saying I needed to eat healthily post run 🤣

Yes

@BetteLaSwet
Should have put that in my OP shouldn't I 😂

I don’t understand any of the replies on here which reference how good an idea it might or might not be to eat some Macdonalds fries after a run, as if that’s anywhere in the region of the issue.
OP, you can have some Macdonalds fries any fucking time you like. It’s a small box of chips, not a wrap of coke. You’re clearly leading a generally fit and healthy lifestyle, and Macdonalds chips are nice. Everyone in this situation needs to chill the fuck out.

That's not a theory, just a pseudo-science myth.

My husband moans he needs to go to the gym to lose a small amount of weight so I comment when he then snaffles a lot of a family pack of M&Ms afterwards. I mention it because he moans about this precise amount of pounds so often. I find diet, exercise and fitness talk really tiresome. Maybe your husband feels the same.

Sorry OP but I think you’re reading too much into it.

You need to have a look at this fella on instagram, he talks a lot about guilt and food and how no food is “bad” and when you associate food with guilt you’re more likely to binge it because you’ve had one chocolate bar, you may as well have 10. He’s great!
337 calories of food after a run is fine!

One has to consider the source of the feedback: do you think your dh knows more than you about what you did and why? If you let others create your "feelings" how do you make yourself feel good? I don't need dh to make me feel good...there are times he does something that makes me know he loves me and other times he says things that are dumber than dirt but I am not going to give him rein on my feelings. Only you can control your feelings so you don't get zinged into a "you hurt my feelings" BS.

It's interesting how when you're talking about yourself and what you ate, you say I had a half a sandwich and a banana.

Yet when you're talking about your DP and what he ate, you describe him as stuffing a cream cake in his face.

Why is that OP?

I’m super confused about why everyone is trying to tell OP what and when she needs to feel good for a run of any distance, be it water, food or otherwise. It 100% OP’s prerogative and no one else’s.

Thank you for this.
If I want my water bottle on a 3 mile run I'll take it goddammit 😂

Because he fucked me off with his judgemental implied criticism of my food choice when I'd barely eaten all day and he'd eaten badly in comparison.

This is OTT and over-therapising the issue. It’s never OK when someone says something the wrong side of critical – especially your partner. Everyone should have awareness of how and why their words land in the world.

I agree its odd. Obviously we dont know the whole context and your relationshiop dynamics etc. but I wouldnt like the remark either. (Nor have I a problem with you wanting chips after a run.)

Sometimes men are blind to their own state and still think it's ok to criticise women.

I was at a cricket match today and some twunt with an enormous beer belly pointed at me and laughed (I'm a size 20). Of course his miserable looking bitch of a wife chuckled along (must have been a size 16 herself). Then someone else from our group walked past and they started elbowing each other and pointing at her and puffing their cheeks out like they couldn't believe what they were seeing.

He didn't look impressed when I stood in front of him and shouted back to her 'Imagine having a belly like that and calling others fat!'.

Absolute twats.

@StaunchMomma
That's absolutely awful, sorry you had to endure that. Good for you for calling him out!

It's astounding how many people are rude to overweight people in public.

I'm on thyroid medication that causes weight gain in 90% of users.

One of these days I'm gonna end up force feeding them to one of these arseholes so they get to experience the shoe on the other foot!

I'd find it funny if my partner had Mac Donald's after a run and maybe comment on it. It's like supporting you to real your goals.
Your body definitely doesn't need it to replace salt! It was 23 not 33, perfect running weather.
What he ate is by the by. You started the conversation and he's gently encouraging you to make a better choice to fit with your goal.

I’m loving the way this thread has blown up and the OP is sticking with it. Proper Sunday random one.

I mean yeah, why tf did he say it? None of his business unless you’ve asked him to help you?

Found the responses here quite bizarre OP, I am the same with regards to running. I feel like I am on fire running in the winter let alone in 23 degree weather. Maybe it is my hormones. I also can eat so much food pre and post run whilst still losing weight. It really takes it out of me and I probably run less than you. You shouldn’t have had to explain you are the main breadwinner and you already took your daughter to the park in the morning. You are allowed your time to be spent how you please the same way you can have your chips. Maybe not a smart move, I mean if you done this regularly he should express concern perhaps but after a tough run he shouldn’t have said it like that. He could have worded it differently if he was genuinely concerned. Or made an alternative suggestion like why don’t you grab a sandwich instead that stuff is really not good for you as you’re putting in the effort to run. Sometimes we neglect ourselves but don’t like seeing people we care about do the same, that is different and comes from a good place.

In what world does she a) need the internet telling her what to put in her body when that was not her question and b) her partner commenting on her perfectly adequate and non-controversial food choices. You don’t have any say whatsoever in how or why OP feels comfortable running or why and when she wants to eat a salty food. It’s of extreme irrelevance whether you think OP’s body needed salt. OP IS her body and she wanted salt – end of.

Regular exercising and eating whatever food you fancy within moderation and with consideration is a normal, healthy way to approach your lifestyle habits.

That anyone would think her partner’s comment was justified is the height of MN batshittery.

Genuine question are yoy always so angry so easily and always need support for things ljke going for a run? Is this normal for you?

@dreamer24 ok that’s fair enough! Hope he apologises for upsetting you with the comment and hope you had the chips and enjoyed them! Good luck on your next run 👏