My childhood summers versus my DD’s

[Waitingforseptembernow]

I was born late 70’s, young childhood in the 80’s, teenager in the 90’s
During summer, us kids were left to our own devices, I can’t remember my mum taking us to the park/playground much (very occasionally on a Sunday with my dad)
She never set up activities, did crafts, only baking at Christmas when I helped her make mince pies. Dinner was only made from scratch on a Sunday maybe-roast, lasagna…during the week it was Findus crispy pancakes, chips & beans, salads in summer. My mum didn’t work, I remember she cleaned more than I do (I have a cleaner as hate cleaning and want to spend my time with Dd)
This is not a slagging off my mum post as she is lovely, just a comparison in the effort maybe in parenting then versus now, does anyone feel the same?
I arrange play dates for Dd, we go to the playgrounds, beach, parks, picnics, I do crafts, baking, days out, I’m not complaining, it’s my choice and I enjoy it (I’m very tired though!) just wondering why it’s so different now to then? Did mum’s generally not think or want to do all these things?
I want to be an 80’s mum!

I was born 1978 and totally relate. My mum never organised activities or took me out anywhere. I spent time reading my books or playing with other kids on our council estate. My mum never knew where I was but it was fine. I had a den in the field next to the estate, went blackberry picking, played skateboard, jump-walked bollards etc.

I really appreciate now how much freedom I had. My home life wasn't the best but I was blessed in a lot of ways.

It is certainly very different now and not for the better imo

Society has become increasingly child centric. There's much more activities available now, and the balance has shifted from the parents needs first to children's needs first.
I was born in the 60s, my mother worked. We had an au pair. I remember doing lots of things with my mother, her taking us
to ballet class and walks in the park (peacocks? Was that Holland Park?) for example. When I was six we emigrated to the US and she didn't work. She always cooked from scratch, and seemed involved - I certainly don't remember her not involved at least. As we aged we did have the 'play outside back by supper time' thing.
Play dates? I don't remember. I do remember piano lessons and dance class (O was useless though did stick with that fur long), I remember her taking us swimming, but also remember us going in our own.
Could it be your memory just doesn't go back far enough? I remember certain things and can only date them by any certainty by where we were living. But day to day stuff I can only reliably recall from age ten or so, and I would not expect my mother to play me at that age.

Very similar OP. My mum hated cooking; so many things were very basic shove in a pot / oven/ microwave. I love cooking, so Cook a lot from scratch. But also get far more takeaways and eat out more often.
DH and I both work full time: but my mum was a SAHM. She cleaned a lot more than me and always seemed to be at my dad’s beck and call.

we entertained ourselves most of the summer: maybe sometimes going swimming or a week at Butlins. But most of the time was just playing outside with our friends. There was lots of us kids in the neighborhood so always someone to play with.

for DSs summer he had a couple of different sports camp, a week abroad, a week at a caravan, and activities of some sort (cinema, bowling, trampoline park, inflatiable park, country park, swimming, museum) almost every other day. There are no other kids on our street, and locally kids don’t just hang about outside playing.

Yep my mum was the same I’m 34 so grew up in the lates 90’s and 00’s. My mum was a stay at home mum and we pretty much got chucked out to play during the holidays, lived in a village so boredom was a big thing! I realise I do way more for my kids, although boredom does have its place to become creative as children however I wish she had done more things with us. I have noticed that the same village I grew up in that kids don’t go hangout in the street and the churchyard - that was our version of a park! All seem to be at home now which makes me sad in a way as they are missing out on that freedom the village kids and I got, however I understand we are more safety conscious these days but also I do think we know are neighbours less too so there is less of a community. That can be quite lonely for a child who doesn’t live near school friends

I'm exhausted after a summer of an "aeroplane holiday", camping trip x 2 and endless arranging of football camps, etc etc. All my son has done is ask what's next and friend X did this which sounded so much better.
When I was a kid (80s) I got a week in a caravan 50 miles from my house and that was pretty much it. Sigh. Thank fuck schools are back next week (Scotland).

Childhood deaths were very rare! A PP said “children were getting killed on the roads all the time.” Yes, road deaths were higher than they are now, but I don’t know anyone who has lost a child. Nowadays we don’t have to worry about illnesses, so we worry about traffic and paedophiles instead, and look at earlier times through that lens.

My childhood was exactly the same,born in 78. I always felt loved and to hark back reminiscing is my comfort blanket, but certainly no activities were organised by my parents in holidays, I just entertained myself,bit like Tracy on Coronation street, played my tapes,read everything from books to the cereal box! It wasn't something I thought was important, having a busy schedule like children tend to have today...they're not allowed to be bored!
I've been guilty of it with my son when he was younger, trying to fill every day that you could with things to do and play days,I honestly am glad those days are long gone!!
I had a lovely childhood and I think it's made me the way I am now,love my own company and don't feel I have to be out and about doing things and meeting people constantly!

Society has become increasingly child centric. There's much more activities available now, and the balance has shifted from the parents needs first to children's needs first. I find it frustrating visiting a friend and have our conversation interrupted every two minutes by a child, who has to be attended to. No attempt to teach them at least to wait for a pause in the conversation.

DH became a SAHF in the 80s. No idea what he did with them! I imagine it was more like my DM - give them the facilities and let them get on with it.

I do think we do too much for our kids now (I include myself in this), but I think my mum should have been more involved in my childhood.

My parents did much more with us than their parents did - but I know I wanted more. DH an only child his parents were very like their own parents - him being chucked out to play and come in for tea. So we've both wanted to do more with our kids though not sure how much they actually remember us doing at all.

There's also some guilt that they can't play out - with fewer people around and more cars and less expectation of young kids being out it's was more dangerous - but when they were young I was around the local area with them we just didn't see kids they knew down parks or at local activities - they were all in childcare with grandparents or other family or off on holiday or expensive trips out. I was glad we had three close in age because otherwise it would have been even harder on them I think.

My kids were born in the eighties and they didn't get run over once. I'll have to remind them occasionally how extraordinarily lucky they are to have survived childhood.

My 80s childhood sounds very similar to yours op. I spent a lot of time with grandparents (which I absolutely loved) because my parents were working. When I was at home I just played out with other kids on the street or in their house. We had a holiday once a year and I remember visiting my parents friends and occasional days out in the summer to museums or the park with my mum and siblings. My dad was always in work so I don't really remember him being around. Weekends were spent reluctantly visiting family which interrupted my playing out time or watching tv/arguing with my sister.

I was born in the 1970s. We did do the odd day out and a week away in the summer. Most of the time I was wandering around feral and I did get myself in some dangerous situations.
By the time I was mid teens though I was trapped at home. The catchment for my secondary was massive so friends lived far away, other towns even. So I was just home on my own, bored out of my mind. So not so different to DD now, her friends just never want to do anything.

DH was kicked out of the door every day and told not to come back. He has loads of stories of his friends getting badly injured, luckily no one died. They did some really stupid stuff.
He often complains DD hasn’t grown up where he did, but no way would I push her out the door for 8 hours to be playing in rivers and industrial sites.

I was a 70s child total roamer 20 mile bike rides many scrapes. Loved reading . Could count on 1 hand days out with my mum.
Holiday once a year with grandparents in the Lakes or Scotland. They let us do much more than I would let our grand kids. And we get in with them.
I was a bit helicopter parent with my kids who were growing up under the shadow of wall to wall press about Jamie Bulger, and so many other abduction horror stories.
The first time I let my youngest out of the garden to ride her big bike down the street I was cutting the grass and she got hit by a car I just watched her fly through the air in slow motion. Luckily she was ok !
But I had a friend who fell off a cliff and died and one who drowned in a gravel pit and 2 who got hit by cars all in summer hols so it does make you feel more safety conscious.
As a mum my favourite days out were shopping malls buying clothes and stationary with the kids as we hadn't had that so much. I do more days out with grand kids than I did with my kids I was always working and chasing about after relatives!
I do regret not spending more time on the beach with them but there was always someone to visit it take shopping etc.
So many many more cars now. In my street of 34 houses in the 70s there were 2 car owners!

Sorry @DeccaM only just seen your question to me, but @SarahWren comment perfectly puts why I feel I can’t give my kids that freedom. There are higher expectations on parents now and more awareness of the potential dangers for children left to play outside unsupervised. The risk of being accused of neglect since culture has moved on, and the risk of something bad happening to my children are risks I don’t feel willing or able to take, though sadly it comes at the cost of their loss of childhood freedom and independence.

I was an 80s child. My mum cooked everything from scratch. We played out until dinner time. Or in neighbours houses if raining. We had occasional play dates and shopping trips. My Dad played sport with me as I got older. I don't think my parents thought it was their responsibility to entertain us and i know they think boredom is good for kids. Tbh, I'm similar. My kids are too young to play out but I'll certainly let them soon. We don't do tablets and have no intention of starting it. If they're bored they have to find something to do. That's on them not me. Frankly, I do more than enough for them!!!!

I remember the days we went out to buy stationery and new school uniform at the end of the summer holidays. Always got a new school bag too. I'd go home and spend a day covering the books and folders in fablon (unless I had picked something special).

I listen to what my friend does with her child during half term and not once does she mention they have a day doing nothing,even at home it's films with pop corn and face masks or nail painting.

I grew up in the 90s/early 2000s and my summers were the best but very different from now days.
We had unlimited tv time, met with friends but planned by ourselves and tagged along with our parents doing what they did.
I think now, everything is expected to be a lot more child centred and we worry about things that parents of previous decades didn't think to worry about. I find parenting now very intense.

As a kid, the rule was come back before it’s dark or when it’s dinner time. Chores had to be done before leaving the house but the rest of the day was ours to do as we pleased and that included sitting on our arses watching tv all day. Food was mostly cooked from scratch because the food we ate at home was food that wasn’t available in a ready meal (immigrant background). Mum rarely took us out because she didn’t have the money and crafting was the responsibility of Blue Peter and Tony Hart. Life was much simpler back then.

I never arranged play dates, DD went to her friends or they came to ours. In the summer she was shipped off to activities which meant I could work/ or take days off doing my own thing. Actually, in many ways she had the freedom of my childhood but the added benefit of more organised activities.

Similar age to you with lots of siblings and stay at home mam. Very similar summer days, play out with friends, friends in the house (although not called a playmate and very casual e.g. no feeding or set up activities), the odd walk up the woods, trip to the swimming baths, out for an ice cream.

My dd is out every single day. DP is term time so can. She's nackered. The bank is empty. But social media I suppose makes you think that's how it's done these days and if you're not doing that your dc is somehow missing out. I try and reign it in a bit where I can. I don't want her to be worn out or have mega high expectations. There was nothing wrong with the summers I had as a child in fact I remember them fondly.

I had a 80s/early 90s childhood.

My parents were farmers so much of the summer holidays was about being taken to agricultural shows (where we ran feral!).

No holidays away as my parents had to do the harvest and we had to help as we got older. We went away in the Spring or Easter holidays imstead.

We did go on things like council playschemes (essentially a day swimming, playing tennis or trampolining at the local leisure centre). We also went to stay with our cousins in London for a week or so and they would come back with us and stay on the farm.

My mum took is for days out to local parks or the beach (we lived on the coast).

There was also Scout or Guide camp

Once we were mid teens we started to get summer jobs and pretty much ran feral - out all day and then evenings at the beach.

80s child here, mum was a single parent, pre school she didn't work, but cooked from scratch everyday, kept the house and garden and did things with me generally going for a walk, learning to sew, reading and writing. Really don't understand how she did it all. After I went to school she started work, still cooked from scratch everyday, cleaned and did the garden. She was awesome, dont know how she did it. When she was at work in the holidays my siblings and I were left to our own devices for the day, from ages 10 to 14. I watched a lot of TV and read a lot of books. My siblings laying til midday then so watched TV!

I grew up in the 80s but we lived rurally with my extended family so my grandparents often looked after me as a small child. I remember helping on the farm a lot and making dens in hay bales, baking and sewing with granny and playing dress up with her beads. It was pretty idyllic in my memory.

My parents were both teachers so they were around all summer and we did often have a week at a U.K. seaside resort or later on a Eurocamp in France or a package holiday to Spain. Often my cousin would come too whilst his parents worked.

My mum was pretty keen on crafting when I was a kid and days out to museums, stately homes and the odd theme park so we did have organised days out in the holidays.

The main difference I guess to now was no devices and very limited TV just a few hours on Saturday morning and in the evenings. Also a lot more freedom to roam. We used to go out on our bikes all day from late primary age and just get back home for tea.

I often think how different my childhood is to the one my sons are currently having.

i was born in the mid-late eighties so all my memories come from the nineties. I lived in a blended family with three older brothers/ step brothers. They had playmates in each other but didn’t want to play with the girl.

for much of my childhood, my mum was a student so she was free in the holidays. Her partner worked in education so he was free too but it was very rare they actually did anything with us. One summer we had a foreign holiday, in 1995 I think. Days out were very rare and I don’t recall much craft or baking. I was often invited to help with the gardening though because my parents liked that!

i like to think I’ve struck a balance with my two nowadays. I work in education so am free in the holidays. They’ve had one week away in the UK and one week abroad this summer- I appreciate we’re lucky to afford those. The days at home have been spent playing out on bikes or visiting the park- nothing too expensive. They’ve asked to go to the zoo as they saw on our local news a nearby zoo has pregnant elephants so I’ll prob do that one day.

I do feel that money is behind everything now. I know you can still go out for free but mainly I mean with sport.
In the 70s/80s you could rock up at your local baths 20p I and there for the afternoon just with your friends all casual.
Then better pools were built with slides etc and it could be a fiver to go in (late 80s).
Council sports centre we could turn up play badminton or tennis, walk there walk back parents didn't even know where we were. Now it's all joining fees and what you look like for your insta page.
I think it's sad that a lot of children are left out of sport because of affordability. We were as a family good at sport - brother became a professional golfer - but we had no money as kids and equipment etc was provided by school.access to sport was cheap.
I understand things are different because of insurance etc but I feel we won't get another cricketer from a background like Geoff Boycott.

I’ve been thinking about this. Like DD now I always like to create, make stuff. But when I was younger there were no materials. I always provide DD with lots of stuff so she can get on with projects.

We went out yesterday somewhere she wanted to go, I would never be getting my choice. DHs ‘daytrips’ were to one place that his parents like, nowhere else. They never went to places in his home city to visit.