My childhood summers versus my DD’s

[Waitingforseptembernow]

I was born late 70’s, young childhood in the 80’s, teenager in the 90’s
During summer, us kids were left to our own devices, I can’t remember my mum taking us to the park/playground much (very occasionally on a Sunday with my dad)
She never set up activities, did crafts, only baking at Christmas when I helped her make mince pies. Dinner was only made from scratch on a Sunday maybe-roast, lasagna…during the week it was Findus crispy pancakes, chips & beans, salads in summer. My mum didn’t work, I remember she cleaned more than I do (I have a cleaner as hate cleaning and want to spend my time with Dd)
This is not a slagging off my mum post as she is lovely, just a comparison in the effort maybe in parenting then versus now, does anyone feel the same?
I arrange play dates for Dd, we go to the playgrounds, beach, parks, picnics, I do crafts, baking, days out, I’m not complaining, it’s my choice and I enjoy it (I’m very tired though!) just wondering why it’s so different now to then? Did mum’s generally not think or want to do all these things?
I want to be an 80’s mum!

I was raised in the countryside, so possibly a different parenting approach to those raised in busier/more built up areas, but my childhood was similar to yours op. Mum did stuff with us, but for the most part we played and entertained ourselves with local friends. It would not have occurred to us that she would have taken us out every day - it would have been too expensive I suspect anyway. I never did stuff constantly with my own DC - of course I arranged some things, but I also expected her to entertain herself once she was of an age to do so.

I grew up in the 70s.

There was very little for my Mam to take me too. We did lots of day trips but going to the park etc would have been with friends. I'd have got the bus to one of the towns with a pool years earlier than most children nowadays.

My Mam worked part-time and my Dad worked shifts. She had a lot more housework to do than I ever have. She had to deal with coal fires, use a twin tub, shopping in local shops with no car.

I spent most of my primary school Sumner holidays in the 80s at my school's free play scheme. We just played loads of games in the play ground and sometimes the youth leaders supervising made everyone play a game together. I knew everyone at the scheme as our school was the only one covering that small area.

My DD now goes to paid for holiday clubs where her activities are more structured. There are also kids she doesn't know at them as the clubs are for different activities and even the one that is just for playing, covers the area of about 6 primary schools.

@Reugny good one 🤣🤣🤣

Some of those public info films were scary

What outcomes for children in the 80s not great?

I don’t think these types of generalisations are appropriate. I was a 70 s child and my mum was always organising trips , cooked from scratch 90% of the time , did a fair bit of cleaning . From the late 70s we had horses so teenage years was basically dealing with them . My eldest was born in the early 90s and we were always doing activities and trips , I worked very pt nights as a nurse and I would say my kids had much the same upbringing as I did but with less cleaning ( husband does 90%) and horses on full livery so less of them .

@themoonandthestarsandme I do remember feeling a little unsafe at times in a large group of kids, some who weren't friends exactly. I also recall run ins with adults who were unreasonable from my memory and again feeling scared. This part is what I feel was the downside as opposed to a fear of kidnappers or perverts.

Hardly ever happened. Making your own entertainment is character building; I grew up in the 70s doing exactly this and tended not to involve my parents in decisions about where I played and who with - and they were busy with work and didn't ask. Decided once to go to adjoining town in W Yorks by bike with mates aged 11, got there and back but given traffic now, I think I might have had kittens if my own DDs had tried the same. However - I would've admired their spirit of adventure had they done it.

I was born in '73. Mum only worked part-time for my dad.

I loved my childhood, my mum was always on hand as a parent but our (dsis and I) summers were basically our own. I still live in the village I grew up in and my friends and I were out all day long, always in the village but our mum's didn't really know where we were. You hardly ever see kids out and about during the holidays now. When she is out which isn't very often, dd16 always has her phone with her and will give me a running commentary of her day, where she is and where she is going etc. My mum didn't have a clue but trusted we would return home when she asked us and we always did.

I had the best childhood ever and so did all of my friends.

Essentially, I think children just had a lot more independence then. My mum was a childcare professional and even she absolutely did not schedule and plan activities for us for every minute of every day. We had the odd day out during the holidays and played with friends but it was rarely if ever a pre-organised ‘play date’ - you’d just run up the road and knock on a friend’s door to see if they were free, or you’d phone and ask they wanted to come over. We didn’t go to clubs or organised activities. Sometimes my mum did craft stuff or baking with us but it was just spontaneous, more a “Think I might make some biscuits - do you want to help?” or “Seems a shame to chuck all these magazines in the bin - do you fancy cutting them up to make a collage or seeing if there’s any pictures you want to stick anything in your scrapbook?” type of thing. If she needed to get some shopping I’d walk down to the high street with her and we’d get a milkshake and some chips in the cafe or an ice lolly on the way home.

Did a lot of playing out unsupervised, spent loads of time with my little dog, taking her for walks and playing with her, read loads of library books and comic/magazine summer specials.

I spent a lot of time (as did my older brother) watching weird school holiday morning telly and just generally amusing ourselves with (often bizarre) self-devised projects (such as the time we tried to make a zip wire for Action Man or staged an extremely complex Marbles Olympics, or when I used to go on Ceefax every day and copy out the world tennis rankings into a notebook).

And yeah, we also had unlimited ‘screens’ in the form of TV, video, Pacman, Nintendo Snoopy
Tennis and Atari, and nobody gave a shit if we spent the whole day on them, so so clutch your pearls at that, Mumsnetters!

@themoonandthestarsandme

I'm afraid sexual and physical abuse is just as prevalent today.

And todays kids are much more likely to live in poverty

That's before we even consider the mental ill health crisis and obesity.

I grew up in the 70s in the countryside, in the grounds of an small stately home and it was great.

There were some rules - don't go down to the river on your own until you're 10 years old - but really no supervision, lots of tree houses, dens, building dams, cowboys type running around. We had a selection of really old bikes with no gears or brakes, and used to come home when hungry. I spent a fair amount of time on my own as there weren't many children but lived so many imaginary games in my head I never felt lonely. When it was dark I went home and read and read and read yet more books- we had a house full of books and TV was so boring in the 70s for children. It was a fab childhood.

When my parents tried to take us out for the day (rarely) I never wanted to go and was quite happy at home.

My retirement plan is to rent a flat in that stately home as it's got lots of little staff quarters that are now rented out, and live there. It's my happy place.

I would have loved to have given my child (now 17) that freedom to roam and the love of books too.

And you don't think that people do stupid things that kill them these days? Many parents and grandparents here will be kids of the 70s and 80s so obviously managed to survive

@Gogogo12345

Indeed we survived despite the dangerous fridges and ovens 🤣

I grew up in the 80s and my mum did clean a lot and worked part time when db and I were about 8 onwards. She organised play dates, trips to the park, beach trips (we lived by the sea) and occasionally zoo trips. We’d spend a week with grandparents every summer visiting London museums etc and another week with my nanna who lived by the sea and a different smaller city so we’d have organised trips with her too.

It wasn’t until secondary my mum stopped organising paydates.

Born in early 60s. Played in the street with younger brother from a very early age. We lived in a village, very little traffic except on the main road which ran past the village, not through. We all knew how to cross it though.

we would go out for the whole day on our bikes, go round to a friend’s house, go to the rec to play cricket, catch newts at the stream, help with potato picking.

mum cooked and baked everything from scratch, and made us packed lunches whether at school or in the holidays. She had no dishwasher and a very old-fashioned washer, no dryer. No microwave. No central heating. Housework took ALL of her day and her energies.

We were welcome to join in with the baking, but it wasn’t done to entertain us. We had very few ‘organised’ jaunts.

I can remember lots of public safety films. Annually, we’d see a farm safety film at the village hall, since we lived in a farming area.

I was born late 70’s, young childhood in the 80’s, teenager in the 90’s

Me too. My mum was a sahm. My dad was in the military. Mum cooked from scratch every night. She baked a lot, always had cakes ready for visitors and I got to help. Used to love making squashed fly pastries (loads of raisins between layers of pastry and then iced) with leftover pastry whilst listening to woman's hour on the radio. She set up crafts, introduced me to quilt making, cross stitch and encouraged playdates, parties and going places. When we moved back to Germany when I was 9, we had regular trips to the park, ice cream parlour and to theme parks outside school.

I was born late 60s, my mum worked and i was looked after by my Nana. Every dry morning of the holidays from age 4 my Papa walked me to the beach ( 2 miles away) as soon as i had breakfast. I played on the sand, in the water or at the park. I was home for lunch and then spent the afternoon either playing in the street or off wandering, sometimes with the older children to the river, again about a mile and a half away over 2 main roads, so much freedom. After dinner we played hide and seek or British bulldog on the street until the street lights came on. If it rained i could have friends in to play ( no screeching) or i played in their houses. My nana would bake and cook with me or give me chores such as polishing and dusting or setting the table. I loved our wet afternoons together watching Crown Court, drinking tea and eating whatever we had baked. I had the best childhood and certainly wouldn't swap my childhood with any of todays children who seem to be organised and scheduled to within an inch of their lives.

Children are shown more respect now, which is great. Not sure why you don’t think a child should be allowed to sit down on a crowded bus!

I am probably a couple of years older than you. Both my parents worked full time.

I think this is just different parenting though.

My DM cooked everything from scratch, we baked together and I never ate shop bought cake. I had loads of craft things, went to activities - often because they doubled as childcare but, heh, nevermind we were both happy.
My DM also taught me knitting, sewing etc. Did DIY with my dad. And loads of trips to the zoo, museums etc mainly with my Dad as DM did nights and it got us out of the house.

My mum was pretty engaged. We went to museums, castles, rockpooling on the beach.

There were fewer structured activities once you were out of mum and toddler groups until you hit Brownies/ Cubs/ St John's ambulance age. We lived in a quiet cul de sac with a park at the bottom of the road. We and the other neighbourhood kids would be out playing for hours. Parental supervision was less (though there were adults keeping a loose eye on us .. and we knew the extent of our free range domain ). From about 9/10 I could go swimming on my own. We'd get dropped off and need small change for the locker and the public phone to say when we needed picking up.

I was born in the 80s. So childhood 80s/90s

I grew up in the 80s and a very young child my mum worked and my dad ‘looked after’ us quite modern and forward thinking for the 80s but we were horribly neglected. left for hours while my dad went drinking or was passed out drunk even when we were preschool age.

After they divorced my mum didn’t work, clean much or entertain us. I seem to remember her spending a lot of time reading books in our fairly messy house. If we ever had a day trip or outing it was usually to a castle type place or for a walk. Never went to soft play or anything like that, if we wanted to do any kind of craft activity or baking we would have been allowed to and my mum would have facilitated it but as we got to school age we would have just got on with it without much parental input.

Mainly we played outside and entertained ourselves. We didn’t even have a tv because my mum didn’t like them but I don’t remember being bored and that stage in my life after my parents separated and we ran wild for years i remember being quite a lot fun.

I let my kids have more outdoor freedom than the average mumsnetter but I am far more hands on than my own mother and a lot more interested in where my kids are and what they are doing. I’m not a big fan of organised activities like crafts etc but we do bake and have a lot of days out, walk the dogs together etc. I hate cleaning but try to keep in top of things and makes sure my kids are involved which is something we never did as kids either. I guess I’ve replaced reading a book with scrolling in my phone, something I’m always trying to reduce!

I'm an X-ennial, my parents worked full time and I grew up in the countryside. We were pretty much feral and spent all our time outside playing on straw bales and the like. We were expected and encouraged to make our own fun and use our imaginations. Making dens and forts was our general MO. We were packed off to the grandparents' for a week or two every Summer, and they would take us to the swings, cinema, swimming or beach.

At home we went to the cinema once a year. We never, ever went out for dinner, except on holidays abroad. We did Brownies and swimming club outside of school, but that was it. The only day trips we went on were with school.

Most of our evening meals were something-on-toast (never UPF or frozen stuff though, my parents were very into the 70s / 80s whole-foods movement). We did sometimes join in if mum was baking, but it wasn't an activity specifically to entertain us, it was just cooking. Mum only baked a few times a year anyway - birthday cakes, blackberry pies in the autumn, and various Christmas stuff.

All that said, our birthday parties as children were legendary, because my dad was amazing at planning the activities. All my friends loved him. We just never did activities with our parents outside of the special occasions, and that was fine. We really did make our own fun.

Nowadays they live stream themselves doing it!