Quiet neighbours now making noise.

[OpalBird]

My neighbours talked to us about the noise coming from our property. OK, my son has a hobby that does make an annoying noise. Since then we have made sure he's doing it less but we obviously aren't going to stop him completely. They haven't said anything since and I think we've been considerate in reducing the number of hours our son does his thing.

It seems like they've now decided that they are allowed to make more noise. We've been neighbours for years and they've always been quiet. Now we get occasional music or radio in their backyard. When I asked them about it they said they have always worn headphones to be considerate but they don't really like listening that way, so they thought it was fair they got to have their hobbies the way they enjoy them best as well.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to them again? There is a difference between children playing and music when they have the option of headphones.

OMG this drives me CRAZY! Why are people such selfish ignorant thoughtless arseholes?! Every home DH and I have ever lived in (6 in total in 30+years together,) has had a driveway. We have always ALWAYS ALWAYS parked on our driveway. We have had 1 car driveways and 4 cars driveways during our time together - and have never had more than 1 car. And we have never EVER parked on the road. We have always parked our car on the driveway. That's what it's for FFS!

Yet every single property we have lived in, we have ALWAYS had neighbours who park opposite our fucking driveway. Directly opposite (or still opposite, but just to the left or right of their driveway,) making it difficult, and sometimes nigh on impossible to get out. Whether we drive in and reverse out - or reverse in and drive out, it still makes it hard for us, and very awkward, to get in and out of our driveway. And these people have ALWAYS had their own driveway.

What kind of selfish, thoughtless, self-serving fucking arsehole parks on the road, when they have an EMPTY DRIVEWAY?! I remember on a thread about this some time back, someone made an excuse for doing this, by saying 'I find my driveway hard to get onto and off, and I go in and out 3-5 times a day, so parking on the road makes life easier for me.' Yeah great, so to hell with everyone else then, and the problems you're causing for them. Selfish arsehole! Learn to park on your driveway then, instead of making life awkward and miserable for everyone else!

A friend of mine is having a problem at the moment with a family who live opposite.. (A couple with 3 kids.) Got 3 vehicles - 2 cars and a van, and a SIX CAR driveway. (3 across/2 deep.) All 3 vehicles are on the road nearly all the time, because they have closed the gate, and made their big driveway into a little play area for their 3 kids (aged 4 to 8.)

So my friend struggles to get in and out of her driveway most of the time! She has even tried parking on the road herself to try to force them to go onto their driveway, but they still park on the road, (with her car opposite,) almost completely blocking the road. Nothing bigger than a Vauxhall Astra is able to get through, and it's risking my friend's car getting clipped/banged into. Also, emergency vehicles and larger delivery vehicles can't get through!

She said she it will very likely be her door someone that will knock to move HER CAR, as they shut themselves in, close the blinds and refuse to answer the door! So the 2 times she has tried this, she's begrudgingly puts her car back on her driveway.

All this, because this couple can't be fucked to play with and entertain their children or take them to the park etc. They just prefer to turn their driveway into a play area and leave the kids there whilst they fuck off into the house and watch TV with the doors and the blinds closed!

Afraid you lost me when you said it was a basketball, that is right up there with a football repeatedly hitting a fence.
You also did come across as your sons "hobby" trumping all other considerations although hopefully you have now seen how against the general mood you were?

You can't have it both ways, OP.

It sounds like they've previously not done things they want to do (eg the music in the garden) to be considerate of neighbours, but why should they stay quiet for you when they have to put up with your noise?

The daily bouncing would have me blasting Drum & Bass at ear splitting volumes, just to be able to retain my sanity!

2 whole hours of music 😮😂😂😂😂

Versus '3-4 times a day/ only about half an hour at a time' of bloody BOUNCING!

THAT'S 2 HOURS AS WELL!! 😬

I'm amazed they haven't invested in a pneumatic drill!

When we lived in a flat, our new downstairs neighbour played Queens of the Stoneage, "Noone Knows" as loud as they could, on repeat. I still hate that song because of it. I have nothing against music in your own home, providing it's at a considerate volume. Same with any noise TBH, it's just life.

One day I started "dancing" to it, by jumping up and down like I was in a moshpit. He came up and lost his mind at me for making too much noise. I promptly lost mine back.

Unfortunately he was also a drug dealer and generally just antisocial and horrible. We were renting til we could buy so we just moved.

OPs neighbours have been saints so far. I can imagine they've gotten fed up of having to listen to their music through headphones in their own home when there's incessant thumping from next door.

OP life is too short-> just get noise cancelling headset for when you WFH, and leave son to play basketball and neighbours to play music.
https://www.johnlewis.com/browse/electricals/headphones/headphones/microphone/noise-cancelling/_/N-al9ZluijZlukf

I have voted YABU OP for getting annoyed with music in the garden. I also think they are being unreasonable because to me it is just the normal noise of kids playing in the garden. To me, both seem normal noises to hear in a neighbourhood, you should be able to enjoy the radio in the garden anf we can’t always send kids to a park/sports centre. But you really should find somewhere else to put the net, right next to their property is making the problem worse.

You are just unbelievable. What a selfish, inconsiderate, ignorant and entitled family you have been. You should be totally ashamed but instead I feel that you are feeling slighted by your poor neighbours who have finally had enough of your son and his annoying bouncy ball. Shameful.

I was going to offer to buy the neighbours a drum kit, but it sounds like the OP is starting to take on board that they have been unreasonable, so hopefully that won't be necessary.

Live and let live.

They've obviously accepted your son playing basketball so I'm afraid you need to accept their occasional music.

You will both have the benefit of returning to near silence when the miserable weather returns in September/October.

Hahha yes. You’re being unreasonable.
It’s SO loud.

Hope the chat goes well OP, sounds like a good plan

A temporary rubber mat could muffle it a bit, doesn't have to be a permanent thing

Also ask council about the possibility of a hoop being included in a local play space. they do update them occasionally so worth a go. (& you might save the sanity of neighbours all over town!)

I think that there are certain activities that are just not appropriate to be done frequently in domestic spaces.....playing drums, or many other musical instruments, basketball, noisy parties, football up the fence and so on. Very occasionally fine.

You are a nightmare neighbour. I feel for all of your neighbours.

You’re screwing with us, right??

30 mins a FEW times a day? But you want them to be silent??

Id laugh in your face. I wouldn’t be able to help it.

I can add skateboarding to the list. Constant flipping of the board and clattering off ramps/pipe. Currently driving me insane.

Oh come on, OP has come on to gauge opinion, had taken it on the chin, and has a perfectly decent plan to have a friendly conversation with her neighbour. And the "crime" was some excessive basketball playing. I don't think you know the meaning of nightmare neighbour! Or maybe you just enjoy being hyper-critical?

He should be allowed to play with his basketball at his own house. Has nobody ever allowed their child to do this ?
Can you not buy a basketball stand and keep it on part of the drive. I can hear the child opposite me with his ball too so people can still hear it but not as loud.
I would play music to drown out certain noise too and now my neighbours are so quiet as obviously don't like it either.
I would def start paying it again if things changed.
You are being very unreasonable to suggest your neighbours stop playing music though. Just let your son play whenever he wants and they can also play their music to drown it out What is the big deal about that ?

I agree with this.

The issue isn't the basketball, it's the OP wanting things all her own way.

Neighbours have accepted the basketball (I would too, even if annoying, as I do think kids should be outside being active as much as possible). But they've made it clear that the quid pro quo is the occasional bit of music.

The OP wants here neighbour to be silent whilst her son belts a ball off the patio for hours every day. Bloody nightmare.

Your son plays basket ball and for some reason you think that’s ok.
I’d Have poured petrol through your letter box. So taking off their head phones seems pretty reasonable.

I suspect, that Ike me, some posters responding are sick to the back teeth of people like the OP who fully expect everyone to dance to their tune but refuse to show the slightest consideration for anyone else.

It drives people to think "Screw this, why am I losing out trying to be considerate to others while also losing out because no one bothers to be considerate towards me?!"

The real kicker though is that when types like the OP get treated with the same disregard they show others they create such a bloody drama about it because they just cannot accept that they're not the most important person in the universe.

It's an increasing attitude that causes issues, people expecting the benefits of a cooperative society while refusing point blank to be part of that cooperation.

I think the op’s suggestion of half an hour a day is reasonable, although I don’t think it should be more than half hour at weekends too. As I said on my last post, we have neighbours who play basketball for half hour a day and this is bearable but any more would be very annoying.

In response to a PP, not all areas have basketball hoops in parks. I’ve never noticed one in any of the parks around here. That probably explains why a couple of neighbours have basketball hoops in their gardens.

I’d be annoyed by people playing music out loud in their garden too though; luckily no one in this area does that.

I don’t think you understand what the majority on your thread are telling you. The constant sound of a a bouncing ball is horrendous for half an hour never mind anytime longer. You are being very very unreasonable and I pity your neighbours.

are you serious OP? Of course YABVU. Your son plays basket ball which would drive me mad and yet you think your neighbours should use headphones when listening to music. tbh you have a fucking cheek. I'm pleased i don't live next to you