Quiet neighbours now making noise.

[OpalBird]

My neighbours talked to us about the noise coming from our property. OK, my son has a hobby that does make an annoying noise. Since then we have made sure he's doing it less but we obviously aren't going to stop him completely. They haven't said anything since and I think we've been considerate in reducing the number of hours our son does his thing.

It seems like they've now decided that they are allowed to make more noise. We've been neighbours for years and they've always been quiet. Now we get occasional music or radio in their backyard. When I asked them about it they said they have always worn headphones to be considerate but they don't really like listening that way, so they thought it was fair they got to have their hobbies the way they enjoy them best as well.

Would I be unreasonable to complain to them again? There is a difference between children playing and music when they have the option of headphones.

I honestly can't understand how you can't tolerate the sound of background music but the constant thudding of your son playing with a basketball doesn't seem to bother you? Or does it bother you but you are willing to put up with it because it's your child making the noise and not somebody else?

I find this bizarre, had it never occurred to you that your neighbours might find it annoying before they actually complained?
Why do you think it's acceptable to let him play BEFORE school? It doesn't matter whether you think the neighbours are awake, absolutely nobody wants to listen to thud, thud, thud at that time in a morning.

You are raising your child to be inconsiderate too, he must realise his "hobby" is noisy and that early morning before school probably isn't the best time to play. Obviously he's going to keep doing it because it's fun and you've never said "not now Johnny, it's far too early and the neighbours might want a bit of peace after just getting out of bed"

@Otherstories2002 In some places they are but in most in the Northeast they're just as close. In cities they play in the street outside the flats.

Well done for taking the vote onboard Op, too many people flounce when told they're in the wrong. All those years you thought they were quiet they thought the same about you, now the basketballs driving them mad and they don't understand why you've changed.
Agree a time and make your son stick to it, that way your neighbours know when they'll get some peace. And for pities sake, not first thing in the morning

In your house is fine. In the garden, not so much.

If he’s so passionate about basketball that he’s playing it for 2 hours a day why on earth is he not on a team? At least that way he’s getting to play without causing a nuisance for your neighbours.

Why do you feel that you are reasonable to make noise that affects your neighbours but they are unreasonable to make noise that affects you?

You've said there that you're not saying you agree with the overwhelming majority and I'm interested why you feel that them being disturbed is reasonable but you being disturbed, for the same amount of time isn't.

It is easier to bear a noise when you have control over it, your neighbours haven't had control over the noise from your family, but you expect to have control over the noise from theirs.

This is why people are telling you that you lack self awareness, because you are discounting anyone else completely except your own feelings and those of your son. Society doesn't work that way, living near others doesn't work that way, it needs a level of consideration for and from everyone - or situations like this happen.

How about your son plays basketball when he wants and they listen to music when they want and you all just chill out and let people enjoy their homes?

Oh come on, in their garden from time to time is pretty normal. We often have two or three neighbours’ competing music on a weekend. Occasionally playing music in the garden isn’t too antisocial.

Certainly not on a par with over 2 hours a day of random basketball bouncing. The poor neighbours must have been going spare!

I actually wouldn't stop him playing basketball, as long as its in normal hours. I would probably look into finding him a team if he enjoys it that much.

But I absolutely wouldn't complain or even consider complaining about their noise. That's where you're unreasonable.

Potentially also look at getting another small area of the garden paved if you have space.

I feel like he should be able to have some agreed time where it's accepted that the kid next door likes this activity, even if half an hour a day. I do take on board that it's generally annoying and not currently limited enough. So I need to work out what the neighbours can tolerate without stress.

So there was basketball noise for up to two hours, and music for 2 hours...I don't see the issue.

The very idea of you being allowed to make noise and they're not is hilariously entitled.

Start a gofundme, get some local schools and businesses involved.

But they wouldn’t be denying him his “hobby”. Playing a sport with others an a court or at a sports centre is a hobby. Bouncing a ball alone in a back garden is not really a hobby in and of itself. Does he/can he go to more training or matches? That’s why most people who have a sport hobby do - they do it in a way that doesn’t massively inconvenience others.

Have you actually spoken to your son about whether he can see any solution to this? If it's just a thing he quite likes doing, he may be less effected by changes to it than you think. If he wants to try and get in a team, so he's practicing and training, it's very different to "I'm a bit bored, I'll go bounce the basketball around".

Fuck! You're annoying.

Lay a noise absorbing surface somewhere else away from their house

An hour!? Just no. Honestly, what’s wrong with you?

And bouncing a ball in the garden is not a hobby.

Fucking hell 😂

Contact the leisure department of the council who manage the park and ask for a hoop. Maybe get lots of neighbours including your long suffering immediate neighbours, to request the same so the council might consider it.

Move the hoop away from their side, attach it to a tree or install a post somewhere else. Install AstroTurf or rubber matting, its the constant bounce bounce bounce that's annoying. Not before school, that's ridiculous, look for local clubs, sports centres, after school club.

That doesn't answer the question as to why you felt like their music was unreasonable enough to complain though, that's what they like to do and you have been intolerant of that, while expecting them to be tolerant to your son doing what he likes to do.

For me that's when you became unreasonable, expecting tolerance for something that you're aware disturbs others but refusing to do the same.

I suspect you have zero awareness and are understating how long your son is out for if cutting down to 30 mins/an hour will be a massive reduction.
Your neighbours tried talking to you the noise is still ongoing (in the morning before school is insane!) therefore they are making a point by playing music outside.
Also I've never once heard our neighbour out with a leaf blower at 10am. They are making a point whether you want to believe it or not.