To think life with one child looks soooo easy

[justwonderingreally2]

It’s such a stupid thread as I love my children so don’t want to give one up but my god on the very very very rare occasion I only have one it feels so easy.

All my friends only have one and it’s so calm. Going on holiday soon, everyone else has one child, I have two. I’m stressed already.

Does anyone else ever think this?

It clearly was 🤷‍♀️

Well there we go then, you've said it is and that's that then isn't it? Grow up.

👍🏼

I have 3 and thought having just one would have been tough in lockdown when they weren't at school. My lot actually managed not to bicker too much during lockdown. Generally they don't get on too bad.

Wow way to shade one child families. Dickish comment.

Completely agree. Some of us with "only one lonely bored child" haven't been able to have a second, although for others it is a choice. My ds is never bored. I play with him plus take him out a lot to parks/ softplays etc. Perhaps it would be easy if I didn't work full time in a stressful job but that's yet another conversation 😉

My younger one isn't 3 yet so it's probably over-optimistic to expect her to be amusing herself for long periods yet. She's actually quite happy to potter about by herself but she likes someone nearby - me/her brother - as a kind of 'safety blanket'. And of course, we don't expect the 7yo to play with the toddler the whole time, or indeed at all if he doesn't want to, and having had over 4 years by himself he's quite used to finding friends of his own age to play with. In our case - and all families are different - it's more that they provide each other with background "noise" and company when they're doing their own thing in the same room, for instance. But equally I know lots of siblings who drive each other crazy, so this is not guaranteed.

This thread has made me feel shit about having one child

There is a spate of only child bashing threads atmA

Please don't, it's a thread full of people with opinions based on anecdote and stereotype. All families are different and all are equally valid. Your only will be totally fine :)

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg26335032-100-spoilt-self-centered-and-lonely-examining-the-only-child-stereotype/ (you can archive.today to get the full version)

It shouldn't, the reality is that all family structures have their issues and benefits. For every great big happy family, there are families where children don't get enough attention and enough resources and grow up resenting their siblings. And a sibling is no guarantee against loneliness, either as a child or an adult.

The statistics are on your side as well - only children are statistically more confident and have better educational outcomes.

I had a second child because I wanted one, not to benefit my existing DC. And that's a good thing because my DC2 was a high needs baby and DC1 had a shit time of it during the first year (my husband was working away a lot and we have no family support so quite frankly DC1 was somewhat neglected and often only had his basic needs met). I felt and still feel shit about that. I think there's always something to feel shit about as a parent.

@Thunderandlightningisfrightening I never realised it was a thing people bashed! Just why? If you’re happy with your own choices/decisions…just why

I had 5 so yes, 1 child is easy! Having a large family involves a lot of juggling and sometimes feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to meet everyone's needs. On the plus side, they were all company for each other, played together and life was never boring! I love seeing them together now as adults ❤️

It is easier imo having one, I would love a second but dh changed his mind and wanted to stick at 1 - and ds says he wouldn't like a sibling- so there is no chance I will get my second (plus am now 46) - but on the plus side it is much easier with 1 dc both to manage, it is more relaxed and financially also

I think that you have to do what is right for you. I have 4 and I am also a lone parent, some of mine have SEN, it’s not been easy. It’s always been a busy house with kids playing/arguing/fighting 😁. I don’t envy parents of only children because it’s not what I chose. Parents of only’s do need to arrange a lot more and spend time making sure their child is entertained. They do have more time and the child gets their full attention. Mine are teens now and have a lovely relationship with each other, the house is still full of laughter and fun. They quite often go out together, it’s lovely to see and I definitely wouldn’t want to change it.

The funny thing is that one-child families are the largest group amongst those with children. Not "outliers" at all, but that never really comes across in these threads. It's not an unusual family structure in the least, it's the most common.

thanks that's so nice of you to say, it's my issue not yours, the joys of a public forum where people have different lives 😊

As a lone parent to an only child, we are much closer than many families with more than one child. More like friends! And the stress never stops!!

Each family is different. Get over the judgement.

No idea but my child is being raised by a single parent and is likely to be an under average height man so the worse of the worse according to mumsnet!😂

Listen I'm Irish so I grew up with loads of cousins of varying ages, I know this isn't the case nowadays, in my friendship group pretty much no one has cousins children, so that's why school & play groups fill the gap, my own cousins children are all in their 20's so no room for Tadhg

I'm sorry for making you feel like shit, this thread shows how guilty we all feel for things that out of our control

It is, I come away from my brother and sil house (they have 4 kids) and think thank fuck I only had one 😂

What a horrible thread this is, full of smug people trying to out do each other with how perfect, easygoing, chilled and simple their life is with their 1/2/3/4/5 child/ren.
Glad you all have life so sussed out!!! Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's the actual children, their individual personalities, needs, challenges and abilities/disabilities that make life chilled, simple and easy, not how many you have?

It's funny in that I have the opposite. I've got just the one and when we go away with friends with multiples it looks much less relaxing as they seem to spend most the time stopping their kids from injuring each other.

My mum who had 5 of us told me it looks harder for me (I have the one). She said as kids, we all kept each other entertained and played with each other. Parents of one have to play with your kid and occupy them yourself🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh I am sure that they do, but there was definitely a vibe of "its your turn" like for the night feeds! You know that feeling of loving your child and being willing to die for them, but wanting just half an hour to yourself? it was like that.