To think life with one child looks soooo easy

[justwonderingreally2]

It’s such a stupid thread as I love my children so don’t want to give one up but my god on the very very very rare occasion I only have one it feels so easy.

All my friends only have one and it’s so calm. Going on holiday soon, everyone else has one child, I have two. I’m stressed already.

Does anyone else ever think this?

@PeatandDieselfan I tend I agree with this a little bit also tbh just from observation of friends with one but maybe only when they are small.
I think it’s one of those things that is easier when they are smaller tbh , I mean obviously it’s way easier. Like even thinking about how many years it take from baby to toddler to young child etc and then multiply that by how many kids you have. In my case 3 times so the baby /toddler years went on for at least 8 years !!
Buuuuuuuut I don’t think it’s easier at all once they are older , my neighbour has 4 dcs and they are older than mine and when they were small the parents absolutely exhausted and drained (they had no support like my dh and I) and run ragged. They are all older now and I see them now returning from uni and college and it looks fab. Genuinely, the parents have de-aged and it just looks so nice , their birthdays and Christmas celebrations, I met them out in the pub the last day and the parents looked so happy to have them back home for the holidays. The kids had clubbed together to get the parents a lovely hotel voucher for their anniversary.
I’m sure they don’t get on all the time but they definitely have each other and it looks great! Mine are getting older and they hang out together (all the same sex) and have more and more in common , the older ones look out for the younger one and it just feels nice to be together, they are a real team. They always attract other kids on holidays !
So although we were absolutely shattered for years when they were small so a good 8 years of exhaustion and it’s still tiring , I like the way it’s going now they are getting older but yes of course it’s easier with just one small kid.

I have 4, a dog and the cat and the other day only had my youngest and he ran rings around me and stressed me out!!😅😉

I think that makes a lot of sense. It just got easier and easier for us.

Not true in all cases. My friend has an only and her life is not her own at all. He’s eleven.

My cousin is a one and only and he is still 100% reliant on his mum at 55!

What does that even mean?!

Some of these posts are sad , about it being boring lonely no laughs , glad they have each other stuff.

it wasn’t my experience , I have one by choice, mine had lots of play dates ,loads of good friends,lots of playing with my husband growing up. Games, football, PlayStation, , I was more the reader, chatter, organiser, confidente.

I found it easy with one,and we did everything as a three,

I think you do what’s right for you and no one should judge anyone else,woman on woman judgement on this can be horrible, as a pp said you either find it stressful or not. I see so many posts on here from people who find caring for their child hard work, a chore, something to fight over, I was lucky in that we never felt like that.

I have two dds aged 9 and 11 and although it was tough when they were preschool age I find it easier having two now.

They do argue at times but they also keep each other occupied a lot, right now we're at our caravan and they've gone off to the park together which is something I wouldn't let them do alone.
At home they'll get the craft stuff out and make things together or meet up in Roblox or Minecraft, it's like having a friend there without me having to invite someone else's round.

Whenever one of them is out and I'm back to having an only i do find that i feel pressured to keep them occupied or do something to stop them being bored but that's probably all in my head.

I do wonder if it'll get tricky again when they're teenagers and the hormones kick in.

It’s a poster, likely female, attacking and judging other women over their parenting,. That’s what it means,

So true, I think it depends a lot on the child's temperament. One child could be harder than 5.

Another thread some people using to bash only children. Yawn

I find it calming only having one, and wouldn't change it for the world, however I do have to get in the pool far more than I like when I'm on holiday to keep her company. It's honestly the only time I ever think I'd like another 😂

Please can you explain what you mean by over-complicating things? As far as I know, it's not necessarily just a thing for parents of one. I only had one, but never had a PFB, I'm not that kind of mother. Thank you for assuming that I'm somehow an inferior, neurotic mother because I only have one child though.

I went a bit PFB about weaning. Then DC ate a bug and I got over it.

😂Brilliant, that gave me a much needed laugh, thank you! x

I have one toddler and I find it pretty damn hard. Maybe its just that we're all different and all have different stress tolerance levels. Or maybe I'm over-complicating things and should have another child I don't want in order to save my toddler from his fate of being a lonely saddo. 🙄

Yup, exactly this. When one of mine is away at a friends or one is doing a camp and we go from 3 to 2 we marvel at house easy it is with 2 and how quiet it suddenly is.

We're only having one. He's a toddler at the moment and all my friends are having second babies and I do not envy them at all. Already their toddlers are having to compromise on activities or only spend time with one parent while they divide and conquer. I'm much happier being able to spend most of our time together as a three not having to do boring baby appropriate stuff, and then solo parent one child briefly so we can still have our own life.

And based on my personal experience of having a sibling, maybe being lonely some of the time is a better "worst case" than the "worst case" for siblings- having a sibling they fought with so constantly that they have very few childhood memories that aren't tainted by it (my situation).

Well, yeah. That’s why we had one.

I’m going to say this about my now 19-year-old only child: We are TIGHT (meaning close)! Sometimes we joke about having ESP with each other. We have great conversations about things. We laugh about how goofy Dad can be. He comes home and tells me what he’s been up to with his friends. It doesn’t mean we’re enmeshed and he’s tied to my apron strings. He has a lovely girlfriend and a great group of buddies. He’s getting ready to go off to his second year at uni. No, we don’t have ongoing text conversations (he’s a boy after all—LOL), but we’re just close in a way that’s like two like-minded people orbiting each other. And he has a great relationship with Dad too. He’s not spoiled. If anything, I feel we were a bit too hard on him when he was younger, even though he’ll tell me that we weren’t. Anyway, just wanted to put that out here for anyone feeling bad for having an only child or anyone judging others for having an only child!

Mine’s an only and 18. Wasn’t through choice but with hindsight great fit for us. Career wise I’ve been able to work in a professional role and progress. I don’t recognise the lonely, we all enjoy our own space it I’ve always been welcoming to friends and taken a friend on trips etc sometimes. Holidays total none issue but we don’t do lie by pool type. Obviously financially she has benefitted and can appreciate that.

Plenty of the only children I know have learned to entertain themselves from an early age from necessity, but also learned how to make friends with strangers. Whereas many of the siblings I know haven't learned those skill and are whiny moaners when their sibling isn't nearby.

I have zero and it's super easy. Everything stays where I left it and there's no screeching. Plus I can go on holiday when it's cheap.

My 2 kids have a year and a half between them and I felt like I was in survival mode a lot last year when they were 1.5 and almost 3 - a year has past and life is easier!
They can play together in their room for up to an hour, they listen quite well when we are out.
I have reduced TV time to 1 hour or less a day and reduced sugar (which I found really affected my eldest)
Your children will become more independent and I'm sure life will become easier again soon.
I have friends who have 1 and it doesn't look much easier to me!

It might be tougher when little but I've found it gets easier as they're older & can entertain/good company for each other. I think its more time consuming with one as they take up all your time & attention. Depends on the age gap however, closer the age the better probably. Just my experience however (I appreciate some siblings fight like cats & dogs 🤯)

I’m totally grateful I have two but as individuals. I didn’t have one for the other and wish I could have had them ten years apart tbh 😂