So so overwhelmed ☹️☹️

[SoEffingOverwhelmed]

Sorry posting for traffic. I need motivation and well god knows what else.

My mental health is rock bottom. I am a hoarder. I live in absolute squalor.

Today is the day I need to blast through the clutter. The junk. The piles of clothes. The piles of rubbish. The empty packaging and empty boxes. Empty cups. Some mouldy. I know how gross this is.

I am overwhelmed I’ve allowed it to get to this point. I can’t see my floors. Dust is everywhere. No wonder I’m constantly run down and have allergies.

It’s all m fault. Everything is filthy. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed.

It’s just me though. No kids. No pets. No partner. So im not putting anyone else through this hell. My friends don’t know. They’ve never seen it.

I’ve made a start. I’ve almost filled a roll of bin liners up to take to the tip. Cardboard boxes ready to be ripped up for the recycling box. I can now see a fraction of my wooden floor.

But by God. It’s hard. So hard. This is just a quick break to write this and have a drink. (Of tea) now I’ll be back to it and hopefully finish one room by this evening.

I don’t even know why I’ve posted here. But if you’re this far, thanks for reading.

⭐️🌟⭐️🌟 WELL DONE

Well done to you. Starting is the hardest bit by far. And you've done it!

I think there is an active decluttering/hoarder thread somewhere on MN - I'll have a look and see if I can link it.

I'm going to get very stern (but kindly) with you here, STOP feeling ashamed/guilty/all the negative feelings! It's snuck up on you, it hasn't happened overnight, it's happened slowly and I beg you to please focus on how amazing you are for now reaching the point where you are in a position to tackle it and get yourself back to a great place.

It's so easy to see it as all too much and not know where the heck to start so I think your plan of tackling your room first is a good one as you'll then have a space to retreat to to relax and recharge ready to tackle the next bit.

You are allowed to not get your room completely finished tonight, you are allowed to be proud of what you do achieve and you are NOT allowed to focus on anything that doesn't quite get done tonight. I'm only saying this as I don't know if the task you have set yourself is achievable in your time frame and if it's not that's OK, tomorrow is a new day and you can continue then.

Please please keep updating us, we are all here to cheer you on and please be proud of yourself and look to the future and what you want to achieve, not to the past and how it happened (you can reflect on that later so you can see if there was a trigger etc so you can avoid slipping back)

If you come across something that triggers an emotional reaction, it's OK to have that reaction but set yourself a short time limit to have the reaction and then put the item in a box and carry on. You can have a longer reaction later if you need to by taking the items out of the box but don't let it derail you from what you are trying to achieve

You've got this OP 💪🏻 x

Well done. It sounds like you have a huge task in front of you, so celebrate every step and don't feel bad about what there is still to do. Keep going. Build in the rest breaks and rewards. Keep checking in here if you need motivation and support.

Well done! Keep going! You’ve got this! 🤗

Well done for taking the first step, that's often the hardest. Remember it took time for the house to get into its current state and it'll take time to sort it out. Be kind to yourself and try not to do too much at once and burn out.

Well done! It sounds like you’ve got off to a great start.

I haven’t read the entire thread, so apologies if PPs have mentioned, but this show is really inspiring for people struggling with clutter: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00116n4.

You’re doing the right thing focussing on the obvious things first (e.g. empty boxes) and doing one room at a time to get one beautiful space quickly. Bedroom makes sense.

Also, with papers, it’s easy to get derailed when you come across things (like the wedding invite). I find it helps to have a box for papers that might knock you off course and sling in there to look at, reminisce and say goodbye to later while you crack on with throwing what you can. But, of course, don’t use as a delaying tactic to throw stuff you can! It’s just people can spend hours going through a few sheets of paper. Also, categorising in folders can help (e.g. financial stuff). Then tackle each folder later to chuck more, but at least it’s in some sort of order in meantime.

Bloody well done @SoEffingOverwhelmed! That is absolutely brilliant!

Enjoy getting into your clean sheets tonight. I bet you'll sleep really well.

Take it just a bit at a time. Try and keep what you've cleared, clear. Just do a corner or a surface going forward, now and then. And yes, take photos. Not to share, but as a reminder of how much you're achieving.

The first steps are the most important for your journey OP. Well done for making a start, and keep us updated on your progress. More power to your elbow !!

Well done Op. I have a relative who hoards, they refuse all help and are not in the correct head space to get going.

It sounds like you are there and ready to do it!!

Found it:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/housekeeping/5106903-hoarders-anonymous-thread-8-we-are-keeping-on-keeping-on-fighting-the-cluttered-fight

Lots of people fighting the clutter here. You will get the support you need and deserve.

@EdithBond I couldn't get that link to work?

Sorry: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00116n4/episodes/player

Keep going OP. It’s amazing what doing little bits consistently will achieve x

Well done. This must be so very hard, and yet you're facing it and doing it. I totally applaud your strength - this is a massive show of self-love, and once you've done it, you're going to be able to maintain it without much effort.💐

I totally get the hoarding tendancy. I’m awful. Well done for getting ahead of it - it will feel so much better, promise! Would love to see progress pics!

OP I don't know you at all, but your post made me proud for you even though I'm a total stranger.

Well done for starting, for allowing yourself to stop and process a little (with the invitation) for picking yourself back up to continue and for giving yourself a well deserved treat of fresh bedding at the end.

In the morning take a look at your tidied part and remind yourself how pleased you felt when you got into your clean comfy bed.

But also try not to be so hard on yourself, it does happen and it is difficult to get off the slide once your on. Please talk to someone in your life though, I'm sure they would want to help you or search for a local cleaner who would be willing to help you in some ways. I know when I was cleaning I would of been more than willing and happy to help someone in the same situation.

Hang in there, OP. One bag at a time, I'm sure you're doing great.

Don't be too hard on yourself.
I remember watching a TV programme about a man in the US who clears houses for hoarders. Clients were hugely relieved as walls and floors became visible once more.
The programme makers became suspicious about their hero, followed him to a warehouse where he hoarded the goodies too good to throw out that he'd removed from clients houses.
De-cluttering is very easy when it's pontificating about other's mess. Well done for making a start, if you keep some of your newly-virgin territory clear and work outwards, you can get boost from the enormous effort you've made to start the process.
If you feel yourself flagging, return to this thread and I'm sure you'll get some motivation.

Just wanted to add my voice and say a huge well done. I can only imagine how massive this must seem, so congratulations on making the big start today. You can go from strength to strength. I wish you well. Be proud of yourself.

I watched some Marie kondo and she said if everywhere is a place for something, instead of find a place for everything then that helps.

So when the junk corner gets full you know you need to have a clear out. I want to get a keep clear/yellow box road marking rug for parts of my house to help with this! Or 'well done it's tidy' on a rug lol

good luck op. Its amazing that you’re doing something so positive ❤️ you’ll feel amazing at the end!

I like this.....someone else is responsible for the mess.
I'm in a similar process, started a couple of weeks ago, in preparation for selling and moving. The clutter started when I was suddenly widowed....'things' were a comfort, perhaps. I'm taking all the lovely, kind, supportive comments on here vicariously, and I think the lack of judgement of OP is really rather heartening; such understanding........it's life affirming. Well done indeed, OP. X

Whoop! Well done OP! Huge step in the right direction, you will feel amazing when it's all done!!

Well done, you've made a start.

We all get overwhelmed from time to time and many of us - this definitely includes me - let housework pile up. If it's not your 'thing', if you don't enjoy it, it's hard to stay on top of.

DH and I are both people who hate housework, I think equally though I actually DO more than him but I'm absolutely sure if I didn't have kids I'd let it deteriorate more!

As so many others have said, don't waste time feeling ashamed. These things happen. Do please be kind to yourself.

Absolutely agree about it being easy to declutter for other people. I have a friend who is a professional cleaner and her house is always incredibly messy. She says it's a totally different thing when it's someone else's mess (and she's getting paid)!