To think of uninviting her

[Forthelovagod]

Invited friend on holiday with my family. She's being a nightmare and we haven't even left yet. I can't stand her negativity, abruptness and mean-ness. I have been friends with her a long time but i no longer want her in my life. She causes me nothing but stress and i realise now that she's only having a hardtime because she behaves in a way that is totally unreasonable but then adopts a poor me attitude.

We go on holiday in 2 days. Aibu to even consider telling her i cant go through with it. I can refund her, its less than 200 quid as cheap flight and small contribution to our accomodation.
Or do i have to suck it up for a week. Im actually dreading spending a week with her.

If you’re not worried about continuing a friendship with her, I’d reply to her next negative message (which I’m assuming will be along shortly, based on what you’ve said) with something along the lines of: “Regrettably I feel our wants and needs for this holiday are not aligned and as such I don’t think we should go ahead. I’ve transferred your money back to you in full and I’m sorry if it upsets you but I think it’s for the best”.

Life is too short to put up with that on your holiday.

I think you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to protect your family.

I'm not worried about continuing the friendship. Thank you for your response @PixiePirate

If she really is that bad then you just need to do it. Just text her, return the money and move on. Life is too short to be pleasing people you really don't like and are not good and kind to you.

“I don’t think this holiday is really what you need right now. I’ve sent your money back. Take care”.

Perfect!

If she's so awful, why on earth did you invite her on your holiday? Presumably she hasn't had a personality transplant since you invited her?

The poor woman.

If you don’t want to keep the friendship then it’s totally fine to let her know that it’s no longer going to work and refund her. If you want to keep the friendship you probably have to continue with the holiday at this point.

Exactly!! What if she's booked time off, bought nee stuff etc 2 days before is tight and it's your own fault really surrkybher being a bitch in the last few days isn't why you want to cut her off you must have known .

I'n that case I would just rip off the band-aid, refund her money and cut the friendship off rather than endure a week of being stressed out and unhappy only to end the friendship anyway.

I would just refund the money. You’ve obviously added her on to your booking hence very little cost. If you don’t want her in your apartment then cancel and refund her costs.

2 days before? I think that's unacceptable.

You need to put you and your family first. As long as you realise the friendship will be over just do what you have said. Although I think I would phone her rather than text.

You've know her a long time, so presumably you knew what she is like?

Why wait until TWO DAYS before?

There must be more to this...

Hi friend,

You seem quite irritable recently. I need this to be a relaxing holiday and really don't want things to continue how they've been the last few times we've (meet/been in touch etc). I am wondering if you actually still want to go with us. I'm happy to refund £xx for your booking, or maybe you want to use the flights and find other accommodation. Just let me know by (date).

This.

Do not sacrifice a holiday for a difficult person.
Her awful behaviour has rightly caused you to rethink.
Do not waste any further time on the relationship.

Demanding difficult people take the chance that they will be cut off by those around them that simply have enough of their bullshit.

That is what is happening here.

I can see why you'd want to cancel her and you probably should but I'm also confused about why it's got so close to the holiday.

Although she'll get her flight/contribution back, she has likely spent on other stuff, planned leave etc so it is pretty mean to cancel her holiday at this stage. How long have you felt like this OP?

Has something happened that’s making her stressed and negative? Seems odd that a friend of such a long time would suddenly become unbearable for no reason.

This. Take some responsibility for not wanting her there. Don’t send some bullshit about doing what you think she does or doesn’t need.

There is just no way I would sacrifice my precious annual with my kids on the altar of being nice for someone who is like this.
i had a friend like this and cutting ties was hard. She dialled up over time.
She was jealous of me but also possessive of my time and wanted to be included disproportionately in my life. She was telling me off for not seeing her enough and when I explained how busy I was because of X Y and Z and i explained she saw me more than my own mother.
I was accused of bragging about my great job and told I rub it in her face that I travel for work 😵‍💫

I’d send a message acknowledging how late in the day it is and apologising for that but also saying it’s the best she doesn’t come and refunding the cash.

Being stuck on holiday with someone you're not really getting on with is horrendous. Do what you have to.

If you don't plan ever speaking to her again you can do what you want, so refund the money and tell her why.

But as a pp said, presumably she will have taken leave etc and spent other money in preparation for the holiday so it's a bit cunty to do it with 2 days notice.

Why have you left it so late? A family holiday will have taken a fair run up to get organised so this must be something you have felt only very very recently.

She doesn't sound great, but I suspect this is something you should have done a while ago ( pull a plug on the friendship) and are now panicking because you realise that and are about to act like a bit of a dick.

I think you might feel worse about this later.

Talk to her - don’t just text her.

What has caused this sudden decision ? Presumably you must have known her quite well to invite her on holiday with you , especially to share your accommodation. Was she supposed to help with childcare?