To Keep quiet about will change

[Bronzemedal72]

Brief backstory

DM was difficult growing up.

I have since had children and forgiven her for her treatment of my Db and I. I realised parenting is hard and she had lots of external factors for her poor mental health and subsequent poor parenting. We have a good relationship now - I've put in boundaries and they work well, enabling her to be a very good grandmother.

My DB has never had children and about 8 years ago decided he couldn't have a relationship and cut off all contact with her. He has not seen or spoken to her since.

He and I have a fair relationship. We aren't particularly close but are there for each other. He has a minimal relationship with my children. Nothing has happened between us, he is just quite hapless at relationships and I gave up doing all the running a long time ago. I feel no I'll towards him and am fine with how our relationship is.

We lost our dad young, and my DM will was always 50/50 to my and DB

This year DM came to me and told me she has changed her will, leaving the majority of the inheritance to me and my DC. She has left a named amount to DB though she has not told me any of the details.

She has done this on her own, with no help from me and has asked that I do not mention it to my DB

AIBU to keep this from him? He still regularly jokes that we will be getting 50/50

DM is fairly fit so I don't see needing to deal with her will anytime soon thankfully, but I also do wonder if anyone has had this experience? When she does pass, I have this feeling that I will be pressured to spilt things 50/50 from DB but honestly have no idea where I'll stand considering she has split it to my DC too.

Any advice or experiences would be appreciated to help me process this in my own mind

Thanks x

Only if she dies within 7 years after

I’m shocked at your response! His sister is doing nothing, the fact she’s asking for advice tells you she cares about her brother. But, at the end of the day, her mother can do whatever she likes with her money! If he’s so ‘damaged’ he won’t want the money anyway. It’s amazing to me that people think it’s ok to behave how you like but then expect money at the end of the day!

I didn’t say he would win, I said possibly. I worked for a company that dealt with wills. You wouldn’t believe the number of wills that were contested (and won). There is a law (inheritance act I think) over leaving sufficient financial provision for your surviving children- sometimes that one is used. There are also quite a lot that go through claiming that the will was written without sufficent mental capacity. All I’m saying is that these conversations are much better to have upfront otherwise op is going to have a headache later on. Even if he contests and doesn’t win, that’s still time and money op will have had to waste dealing with solicitors.

She was an awful mother to you and your dB growing up I think deep in your heart you know that he deserves the same share as you do.

Absolutely this.
My father in law’s mother split her will unevenly between her children and wrote a beautiful letter to her son, explaining why his sisters and their children received more than him and his children. Whilst he didn’t agree with her decision, it did help him to understand her rationale.