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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be freaking out at turning 40.

107 replies

WAITthisIS40 · 07/08/2024 15:43

I am 40 next year, and it can't be true. I'm not ready!! I don't feel that age. I have recently noticed slight lines on the sides of my mouth, which i'm using retinol for, and the starts of neck sagging. I have a young looking neck, no rings, but all of a sudden a slight line downwards from under my chin has appeared! WTF. Is this it now? Am I classed as middle aged, well on my way to being a little old lady? I don't want my face to head South.

I was always used to being the youngest one, and now this is drastically changing! When I go out, I wonder do I look old. I hate the fasion now, and make comments about young girls going out naked, and that when I was that age there was a stomach or legs rule, we wore clothes, and our elders would complain about that. I am very slim, in good shape and feel fine, but then my body isn't the same as it was. I have to tone it more, esp my inner thighs, and bum. My hips are wider too.

I am sounding older by the day. I had dcs in my early 30's, was barely out my 20's, have finally emerged from the sleep deprived fog, and I am 39!! I don't look in my 20's any more like I used to. It's like most of my 30s have been a blur.

Does anybody else feel this way? Do you feel better once you pass 40? I never cared about 30, as it was close to 20s, but 40, flipping 40!! I have acouple of items of clothes older than some teenagers (when they actually used to make them with quality), ahh there I go again with my old dear complaining!

OP posts:
2AND2GC · 09/08/2024 23:33

When I was turning 40 I remember wailing about it too. My lovely 80-ish-year-old MIL wrinkled up her face and said 'Ohhh I'd give ANYTHING to be 40!

I'm almost 60 and I could say the same to you. 40 is fun, strong, sexy.. You are in your PRIME!

Please don't waste a second overthinking this. Life is so very precious and it speeds by. Soon you would give anything to be as young as you are today so take a breath, own it and EMBRACE it.

BeatsAntique · 10/08/2024 00:04

I’m 41 and had the same thing happen. I don’t feel the age I am. I still look around for a proper adult sometimes even though I have a Director level job, a kid, a mortgage and all the usual adult things.

I resent the sprouting face/neck hairs that pop up occasionally, the sogginess I’m getting around my jawline but more than anything what really scares me is how fast time is passing.

I still have that feeling like my life is just beginning and the possibilities are endless but I’m now realizing that there’s more behind me than in front of me and that is terrifying.

DramaAlpaca · 10/08/2024 00:14

MrsMop1964 · 08/08/2024 13:07

I get it but I'm turning 60, so 40 seems young to me.

Same. Forty is young.

5128gap · 10/08/2024 00:19

You can work on your body and face and make it look great, but the real work you have to do is on your attitude. Because unless you wise up and stop the youth fetishism then you're going to ruin two thirds of your adult life hankering after something you've built up to be far better than it probably was. Most young people are not beautiful. They are ordinary, just young. Being slim and toned isn't impossible at any age if that's what you want, and a few lines do not make the difference between looking lovely or not. What you see in the mirror is your adult face and body. Change what you don't like and learn to love or at least accept what you don't. But for goodness sake don't write yourself off with at least half your life (all being well) still to go.

tuttuttutt · 10/08/2024 00:22

I turn 40 next month just before I have my second baby. Don't feel old or past it at all. Happy with the way I look, no lines or wrinkles or greys yet!

sunburnandsangria · 10/08/2024 00:46

Meh. Getting old is a gift, not a right. Cherish every moment and cast off your judgement.

I have known too many people who will never get old but would have given anything to do so.

Inspireme2 · 10/08/2024 01:10

RomeoRivers · 07/08/2024 16:05

Go to the hair dressers and get your hair dyed, invest in some good quality make up and skin care and buy a nice outfit in prep for your 40th; that way you can look back on the photo when you’re 60 and you’ll realise how fabulous you still were 😊

I second this.
I am unable to embrace the greys!.

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