To be freaking out at turning 40.

[WAITthisIS40]

I am 40 next year, and it can't be true. I'm not ready!! I don't feel that age. I have recently noticed slight lines on the sides of my mouth, which i'm using retinol for, and the starts of neck sagging. I have a young looking neck, no rings, but all of a sudden a slight line downwards from under my chin has appeared! WTF. Is this it now? Am I classed as middle aged, well on my way to being a little old lady? I don't want my face to head South.

I was always used to being the youngest one, and now this is drastically changing! When I go out, I wonder do I look old. I hate the fasion now, and make comments about young girls going out naked, and that when I was that age there was a stomach or legs rule, we wore clothes, and our elders would complain about that. I am very slim, in good shape and feel fine, but then my body isn't the same as it was. I have to tone it more, esp my inner thighs, and bum. My hips are wider too.

I am sounding older by the day. I had dcs in my early 30's, was barely out my 20's, have finally emerged from the sleep deprived fog, and I am 39!! I don't look in my 20's any more like I used to. It's like most of my 30s have been a blur.

Does anybody else feel this way? Do you feel better once you pass 40? I never cared about 30, as it was close to 20s, but 40, flipping 40!! I have acouple of items of clothes older than some teenagers (when they actually used to make them with quality), ahh there I go again with my old dear complaining!

I'm 61. I'm no little old lady. I run. I walk. I climb. I use all tech. I earn better than I ever have and know myself so much better too. 40 is nothing! And as others have said, be happy you've made it 😊

💜Thank you so much for your kind words @Lupina12
I am definately going to try!! 🤞

I don’t feel like this at all.

My dad is in a care home, and when I’m walking along the corridor to see him, I see very elderly people bound to their beds and sometimes being spoon fed. That always gives me a good kick up the arse, not just about age, but life in general.

Having said that, I know what you mean about suddenly losing your youthful appearance.
I read somewhere lately that a woman ages the most drastically between the ages of 35-45. I presume it has something to do with peri-menopause?

Enjoy your 40th!

I get it but I'm turning 60, so 40 seems young to me.

You'll never be as young as you are in this moment right now, so pointless to waste it fretting about ageing.

I’m in the same position as you OP, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Unlike you, I am also very overweight and I’m struggling to lose it, and I know I look and feel older when I’m carrying more weight.

I’m trying to view this year as a year to turn a lot of things around in my life in time for my next Birthday.

Same position here and feel really down about it. Still get mistaken for being a lot longer than I am but noticed grey hairs popping up and I only have to look at a cake and I put on 3 pounds.
The years have just flown by and because I don't have kids, am single and not in the greatest of jobs, I feel a complete failure.
40 just sounds so old compared to 38/39....

Botox, tretinoin, factor 50 every day, even if you don't go out.

I think a lot of people feel like that just before they turn 40. But once you get to 41 you tend to get over it. Especially when you realise that the next big milestone is 50!

I really like being in my mid-40s. My kids are older and I have more freedom to plan things for myself like a couple of trips abroad next year, and more exciting holidays with the kids, and I have started looking forward to things I can do when they leave home like interrailing. Not that I am wishing them away, as I miss their little years desperately and I also miss being a teenager when I see my lovely teen being one, but there is no point fretting about it.

I am sorry you feel this way, just to say not having kids is NOT having failed and lots of us aren't in the greatest of jobs. I have never known what I want to do and have floundered a lot. But I am happy 'working to live' now. Can you think of some things that would make you feel happier, like travelling or a nice holiday, or an evening class?

40 is ok, tho I spent from 45, in an extreme menopause, took 13 years to get over
,
Life should be kinder at 62, it’s not mid stage Parkinson’s, 7 yrs in,it’s very annoying.

Your forties will be fine - trust me! You're still young, and have strength and energy. Things won't get tricky until later. Enjoy it while you have it! (I know what you mean, though - I was also freaking out ... I didn't know how young I still was.)

I feel like I will always be seen as a failure no matter what I do. Life just seems to be getting sadder and more difficult the older I get.

Do you actually want a partner and / or kids or do you feel that you should have them?

Incidentally, I felt like a failure for most of my 30s & was eventually diagnosed with depression. In my 40s, with the help of anti-depressants & therapy, I soared.

Definitely not kids. A partner, maybe. But I know relationships are not easy and the grass is always greener.
It just isn't easy being a single older woman.

Turning 40 was the making of me! I noticed I had alot less energy and stamina but I was comfortable in my own skin, my DS was getting more independent and I was doing alot more stuff.

I'd love to be 40 again (knowing what I know now). Time really does go by so quickly.

I'm turning 40 in a few weeks. I'm feeling very conflicted. I feel like time has gone very fast and I don't feel ready to be 40. My health isn't great and I feel like I'm on a decline with that which scares me. Some of my friends have started on the botox etc.
My kids are getting older and I have a lot more freedom in that respect. I've just returned to work after many years as a sahm.
But I've spent my 30s trapped in a love less marriage. In my head I fully intend to separate and feel excited about that, but if it doesn't end up happening I will never forgive myself as I will have wasted my best years.
I also have a lot of worries about deaths of family members. I've been lucky to far but my parents are touching 80 , I know I'm going to lose them within the next decade and my beloved dog, and I don't know how I will cope with that. That scares me the most

But I've spent my 30s trapped in a love less marriage. In my head I fully intend to separate and feel excited about that, but if it doesn't end up happening I will never forgive myself as I will have wasted my best years.

If it helps… that was me, & it was turning 40 that gave me the impetus to finally get out. I’d love to have my 30s over again but my 40s have been wonderful & I intend to make my 50s even better.

You can do this.

Those are no reasons to feel like a complete failure (whatever a "failure" is!). I'm 65, single, no kids, have always had ordinary jobs - I've just retired - and I certainly don't feel like a failure at all. I'm not sure I even feel like an adult half the time, but I'm happy and content.

I’m 40 next year and I don’t know how I feel about it really. I still feel quite young. I’m slim, fit and active. I had kids young so didn’t spend my 30s in a baby fog. I regularly still get asked for ID when buying alcohol and until now have only needed to use basic moisturiser. I don’t have a fancy skin routine to keep me looking young, I’ve just been quite lucky.

now though I have noticed a few wrinkles creeping in as well as the odd grey. I think I’m going to need to up my game in terms of skin care and start dying my hair again. I’m not ready to look old! Though on the other hand maybe I should just embrace it as lots of upkeep has never been my style. I don’t know.

@WAITthisIS40 im planning my 50th. My 40s has been by a very long way the best decade of my life. I emerged from the baby fog, got my figure back, and have had a ball. As I near 50 it’s becoming obvious that some bits of me aren’t working as well as they used to, but I’m looking forward to the next chapter. Onwards and upwards!

Thank you for @ForGreyKoala . Unfortunately a lot do pity and judge me.

I'm sorry to hear that @CobaltQueen . People may well pity and judge me behind my back, but I've certainly never known about it, and I think people who know me can see that I am happy.

You’ll be 50 before you know it. My 40s whizzed by in a flash.