DH’s attitude re riots etc upsetting and angering me

[Pinkycloud]

I feel so sick. Every time we talk about the riots, DH comes out with ‘well people are angry, etc’. He says he doesn’t condone violence, but there’s always a ‘but’. He voted Reform, I voted Lib Dem. I tell him he sounds racist in some of the comments he makes, which he vehemently denies.

He’s a loving, hardworking husband and father but… this! He is honestly a good man. I don’t know how to deal with it other than banning the subject. Has anyone else got very different political views from their spouse or partner?

I don't think it's not being listened to that's the problem, it's what they are being told. A lot of which is lies.
If they are willing to discuss and listen to different assessments of why communities are run down etc., like 40-50% cuts in government funding for local councils over the last 14 years) and are willing to entertain looking at validated statistics (which show that immigration is a net benefit and, more to the point, explain why) then you can discuss issues and maybe come to some agreement on things. But if they won't do that, and are wedded to mindless support of rabble-rousers online* who feed them the lies they want to hear, then walking away is all you can do.

*Rabble rousers who stir up trouble and talk big, but themselves steer clear of any involvement that might put themselves in jail

Can he actually explain what are the people angry about, in a way that actually makes sense that targeting random people of colour is logical?

He is kind of contradicting himself with 'people are angry but he doesn't condone violence'. I'm angry about things in life but I don't go smashing up people's livelihoods, intimidating cultural groups and beating my naked chest 'to protect our country and children. There's protesting over things and there's intentionally going out of your way to hurt people which these twats are doing. All supported by men with wealth and influence who help incite the hatred by encouraging these 'protests' for their own personal gains.

I'm afraid I couldn't be with someone who voted Reform. DH and I share slightly different political views (he's slightly more left than me) but generally 75% of the time agree with each other.

Home wrecker.

me neither.

I really agree with this. IMO it is also exactly for this reason that Brexit won the vote - the ‘only stupid people would vote for it’ rhetoric, rather than trying to understand people’s concerns, triggered a massive FU to politicians. And I say that as an ardent Remainer!

I read it and thought it was unattainable. As well as divisive (stop and search when we all know how that goes)

the DH wrecked it by becoming a racist bigot voting for utter filth like Farage.

The reason the country is in such an appalling state today is a direct consequence of idiots like your husband (sorry) being listened to and pandered to for the past 20 years.

This is completely it. Couldn't agree more.

The racists are used to being listened to and getting what they want, that's why they've livid, because they know that particular ride has come to an end.

I agree with this.

very interesting story. Why should we care? He isn’t that clever by your description

There is no justification whatsoever for this violence. It is fuelled by racism and hate. Saying people are angry suggests your dh is condoning it. Same for anyone saying people have concerns about immigration.

This .

Reform are UKIP with a different hat. Populist rhetoric with no substance. Nothing thought through or costed. They tout simple ‘solutions’ for complex problems and when the shit hits the fan they’re nowhere to be seen.

Yeah, I don't see the point of that story either. 'Man doesn't understand immigration'. OK.....?

I personally would not vote Reform, being a socialist, but opinions differ. My recently late DH was a Liberal without a home, thanks to the undemocratic behaviour of LibDems over the 2016 referendum.

On the point of the disturbances (no troops out, so NOT riots), many people are unhappy that our culture is/might be threatened by the arrival of immigrants who do not hold our values on tolerance, corruption, women's rights, children and sexuality etc. as well as being concerned at the deterioration of our infrastructure, of the difficulty in finding affordable homes, getting doctor and hospital appointmens and school places. These are all reasonable and rational concerns that have not been addressed by either the last government or the Opposition, which is now the government. There comes a point when throwing a brick looks like the only way to get attention, because otherwise we/they/you see/feel our way of life is being quietly destroyed and we/they/you have been ignored for decades.
What else do you suggest anyone does if no-one with any authority will listen?
NB My personal gripe is the constant poaching of professionals from developing countries that have paid for the qualifications we are now utilising.
It is not racist to have any of the concerns I have listed btw.

He is a chartered surveyor so works in building for a large company across the North of England and says there are numerous areas in Lancashire and West Yorkshire where white British people are in the minority and he thinks the customs and traditions of English life have disappeared in those areas.

This is utter bollocks @LuluBlakey1

You seem to be star struck by this wet-behind-the ears young man.

He's no better than the rest of the racists, regardless of his career or anything else.

I mean, you've said he lives in Newcastle but you're claiming he's some sort of expert on Yorkshire and Lancashire demographics because he works for a building company that does work there?

Have you listened to yourself?

My DH and have have completely opposing political views, always have, always will. We debate, heatedly sometimes, but we respect each other's opinions, more importantly the right to have a different opinion!

Every general election candidate leaflet that came through our door (except the labour one) mentioned the grooming gangs scandal which has had a huge impact on our area and the perceptions of our LA and police force. Both were found to have turned a blind eye. Neither have been properly held to account. Whatever your politics, that builds hatred.

I know loads of people IRL who voted reform including an NHS doctor and my dc's uni friends. Voting reform does not put them in the same category as the morons burning libraries.

It really would change my whole impression of my partner if he voted reform, and I genuinely mean that. Our belief’s wouldn’t align and I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who could justify these riots

I guess it's the same way that people are able to sympathise with Hamas on Oct 7

I am more concerned that you voted LibDem, to be honest. How can anyone vote for a party that said in 2016 that they would hold another referendum on EU membership and then if the answer was not to their liking (i.e. still a Leave vote) they would ignore it. Not exactly democratic.

Angry and fed up about ? .....articulation and evidence might support the argument
Who are 'people'?
Why now?

@TheNuthatch

Voting reform does not put them in the same category as the morons burning libraries

Not all reform voters are violent racists but all violent racists are reform voters.