To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

[ewloan]

I have found this from threads and in real life, whenever private school comes up there’s this attitude that it’s about ‘buying results’ or ‘if your child is academic they will do well anywhere.’

Do people not realise that most people who send their kids to private school actually don’t need to be thinking about exam results as the main factor? These are people who often own businesses and have huge family wealth so their child’s exam results are not the be all and end all. The main reason people use private schools is for the entirely different experience for the child, for them to enjoy school and learning in small classes with lots of amenities and focus on their development. Why do people seem to think the main reason is to ‘buy an exam result’?

The luxury is the parent having the luxury of choice for their child’s education. And if VAT is a tax on luxuries, so be it. But wouldn’t it be nice if state schools were as good as private? Don’t all children deserve great schooling? Because school improvements aren’t going to come from this infinitesimal income from the VAT rise, but from proper tax increases such as income tax, and increasing CGT etc.

@VickyEadieofThigh not sure I would find that hilarious but I can see why she felt she had made a better choice for her children.

IT 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 LUXURY 👏 TO 👏 PAY 👏 FOR 👏 IT

Does anyone need to say it louder for you?

Pay your VAT, enjoy your luxury and stop creating threads about it.

As someone who teaches in a private school, which is also where both DC went, I have met a lot of parents professionally and socially.

There are many different reasons why people send their children there. For some it's entirely about results and universities. Others couldn't give two hoots. Most are in the middle. I suspect that the balance varies depending on the school.

I don't think anyone does it to avoid mixing with well behaved children from any background. I think they do it to try to avoid their children mixing with disruptive children from any background, and they assume (sometimes wrongly) that children of parents who are able to afford private school may be better behaved. Many private schools interview both the child and parents either separately or together before admitting them to try to gauge if the family fits with their school values.

My parents (working class, grew up in council houses to unemployed/minimum wage parents) sent my brother to private school to get him away from the bully's who beat him up most days. They did not care what background the other children came from, they cared that their child did not come home bruised and bleeding every day, and had tried all 3 state secondaries in our town with a similar outcome. We know now that he is high functioning ND, but at the time he got picked on relentlessly for being 'weird'. At his small low key private school many children were there as they had been targeted for being ND, 'geeks', skin colour, talking differently etc, so he didn't stand out anymore and he thrived.

Look… I have 3 children, I cannot afford private schools - but if I could I absolutely would send them. Like most people I imagine.

But do I lay awake at night wondering why people send their kids? Obviously not… I imagine it’s obviously, a better life… whether that be down to grades, peers attitudes or just opportunities - its sort of irrelevant. Why care what people think about why you send your dc op?

The people I've known who've been to private school were all sent there because their parents wanted them to get to know the 'right' sort of person. Exam results were not that important.

It was because her step-brother had rattled on for years about how much better their school was than my 2000 pupil comprehensive. They came out with quite woeful exam results.

No one is claiming that it wouldn’t be great if all schools were as good as private. And no one is claiming that all children don’t deserve great schooling. All of society benefits from from a well-educated population. Sadly, private school is not providing a well-educated population, it’s only creating the greatest provider of segregation that children and adults will ever experience – and segregation will never benefit all of society.

And no one is equipped to accurately forecast the outcome of the VAT raise until it actually takes place.

@ewloan

It is better. I've been teaching 25 years. Teaching in the state sector has to engage all pupils not just the pupils with secure attachment and involved parents. If you tried to hand out textbooks...they'd be flung back at you in some schools I've taught in.

Scoll on by then. Such an easy fix!

I went to a village school where there were three people in my year at school. State school in the UK. The smallest class size. We basically spent the entire time out in nature doing art or sports, I loved it.

If you wanted small class sizes or a school with a good culture/extracurriculars you'd choose a state school with those things.

Private schools generally foster a horribly competitive culture (imo) so the only tangible benefit I see is that they make not very bright kids get better results.

PS - I also come from a family of people who went to private day & boarding schools. Not one of them enjoyed their school days as much as I did. There's seemed to be lots of competitiveness and bullying

What has that got to do with VAT?

@newmummycwharf1 "Being able to choose a school where most parents are likely (never guaranteed) to have your values is a privilege and we chose private schools for this."

Interestingly, one of the reasons I chose not to send my children to private school is that many of the parents did not share my values. The same applies to many of the private school parents on here.....

I know there are parents like this as I've met them. They already have several houses for their kids (in London), contacts in banking, business, medicine so it's almost guaranteed their kids get lucrative jobs and places in these fields if they want it. No student debt. Or they can afford for the children to pursue 'hobby jobs'. Genuinely no need to be really academic or especially talented as they'll do well anyway so they can just sit back and enjoy school. It was ever thus.

Well the IFS is suggesting it will raise £1.6bn which is absolute chicken feed. Anyone that knows anything about tax will tell you this is utterly minuscule. AddVAT if you like, but fgs up income tax too to help
pay for much, much better state schooling. Because until we do people are always going to need a private schooling option (unless of course they are in the catchment of the sort of schools that Tony Blair / Keir Starmer used).

Precisely- often not based on private or state. Choice is a good thing and we live in a free country (thank God!)

So you’re basically letting everyone know that those wealthy enough to pay for private schools have lots of lovely reasons to enjoy that privilege?

What a tone deaf, grossly entitled thread.

Surprise, money buys better opportunities!

Not another bloody one. I don't think people are that interested. Mumsnet seems to be obsessed with the topic though!

I'm abroad. There are no private schools apart from International ones that cost a bomb and are mostly paid for by employers as part of a package. And are not generally held in such high regard. The Royal Family's children went to state school. Everyone normally gets a place in a local one. And to assist with postcode lottery, disadvantaged areas get more funding than richer ones. So schools could actually be better/provide more services as was the case with my dd's first primary school. They do fall down with SEN provision though.

Well, duh. I assumed that, to be honest. Or they'd be asking for their money back.

When you look at how utterly thick people like Jamie Laing are. I assume his parents didn't spend massive amounts to actually 'educate' him. I understand it took him 70 attempts to pass his driving theory test, for a start. And that he failed his A levels.

Having the money to pay for education doesn't necessarily mean they can work miracles if you have a child who isn't academic.

Maybe some people do have the wrong idea but maybe some people don’t.

That makes your idea no more ideal than theirs.

It’s your opinion.

You might send your child private for one reason and I might send my child for another reason.

You don’t hold the monopoly on the reasons why people make their decisions.

Soooo ….🤫

My DF wanted to send us private. He went to grammar but none left in our area by the time we were secondary age.

He wanted to avoid the disruption and low expectations of the local state comps (primary was OK). We were only in sets for maths, English, science and whichever language. Even some of those lessons were like the Wild West.

DF also couldn’t believe (still can’t) that you weren’t allowed to ‘read around’ a subject. His favourite is History and we studied both world wars for GCSE. I’d tell him what our essay was and he’d always say “And you could add that Churchill did xxxx which meant that….” Couldn’t believe it when I said we’d been told it doesn’t get you any extra marks, just answer the question e.g. “Who was Prime Minister 1940-45?” Answering ‘Winston Churchill’ would get you the same marks as saying which party he represented or who his parents were.

Unfortunately for all of us, he never had enough money.

I went to one of the most academically selective private secondary schools in the country. My parents definitely wanted to buy good grades. They weren’t interested in contacts and it wasn’t something that ever had any impact on my life. I only kept in touch with 2 people who I went to school with and neither had any impact on my career.

I decided to send my DS to private school starting at 4. The reason was I want him to be in small classes with children of likeminded parents. By that I mean the assurance that 100% of the other parents are fully supportive of their children’s education. A class of 12 in such circumstances is very different to a state school class of 30 where even 2 or 3 disruptive pupils could ruin it for the rest.

The facilities and non academic opportunities are also far better which appeals to me. All in all it is just a far nicer environment in much the same way as buying a house in a nice suburb invariably delivers a better quality of life for your DC.

I’ll wait and see how he fares academically as he progresses before deciding what most appropriate for his senior years.

I assume that private school parents are not a homogenous group and that their reasons vary widely. Ones I've met have said things like: to escape the low expectations of black boys, smaller class sizes, "it's what I'm used to", because my parents offered to pay etc.

State schools are not homogenous either, and neither are the kids that go to them. I was a free school meals child that went on to get a 2:1 at a good uni; my eldest likewise. My youngest, though, is the kind of child that some previous posters are definitely paying to keep their offspring away from. She has been massively let down by our broken CAMHS and post-adoption services and by the Govification of state education. I have no personal beef with private school parents, but we do urgently need to rebalance the public purse in favour of state schools and the needs of the children in them.