To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

[ewloan]

I have found this from threads and in real life, whenever private school comes up there’s this attitude that it’s about ‘buying results’ or ‘if your child is academic they will do well anywhere.’

Do people not realise that most people who send their kids to private school actually don’t need to be thinking about exam results as the main factor? These are people who often own businesses and have huge family wealth so their child’s exam results are not the be all and end all. The main reason people use private schools is for the entirely different experience for the child, for them to enjoy school and learning in small classes with lots of amenities and focus on their development. Why do people seem to think the main reason is to ‘buy an exam result’?

@VickyEadieofThigh you surely can see that there’s a higher chance of a more thorough understanding of the subject matter in a class when there’s less kids in it? And likely no disruptive kids? It doesn’t meant the kids will perform better but the environment lends itself to a more thorough education, no?

I hated my private school experience. A great shame and a great waste. On paper looked fabulous but I just didn't fit in. The kids were mean.

Well, I opened it thinking that finally, after countless threads, someone might have something interesting to say about private schools and why they choose to send their child there.

I was wrong again on this occasion, but I have hope for tomorrow.

My cousins' parents wasted their money - no?

@DontBiteTheCat but you needn’t have posted if you didn’t care? I am genuinely interested in why you’d bother? Seems like a total waste of time! But you do you.

Why would you be so arrogant to think you know more than I do? Its a mystery. Tell me where I've benefited from school contacts or if you would prefer predict the uses for my children. I bothered to explain where our contacts come from, but alas you know more.

They don't think it's to buy an exam result (although that is a pleasant side-effect). They think it's because the parents want their children mixing with the 'right' types.

@VickyEadieofThigh not in my opinion as, like I said in my OP, exam results are usually not the reason for sending a child to private school.

Who cares

I suspect people choose private schools for the same sorts of reasons people choose a particular state school. The problem is, most of us don’t have that choice.

What, exactly, do you think my two cousins got out of it, then?

DS finished school last year and is on a gap year. He is currently having the time of his life working away from home, labouring. He loves being part of a team of tradesmen refurbishing industrial units. He had no problem fitting in because he learnt at private school that respect for others is important and that you have to put in the work. It echos how we brought him up.
He starts Uni in October where I hope he doesn’t come up against some of the attitudes I see on MN by parents of state school children. I was state educated and I find it quite embarrassing how bigoted some posters are. Surely we are all working towards producing adults who are tolerant and able to judge people on merit and not pedigree.
I don’t remember any of my privately schooled friends judging me based on my education. But I have seen a lot of judgement of privately educated students by those from state schools.

If I had been going to send mine to private school it would have been for the utter bliss of most of their extra curricular things being at school, so no driving round the county like a blue arsed fly every afternoon. Drop off at 8, pick up at 6. Home to dinner and family time and bed. Bliss.

This is wrong because no matter how good state education is, a fee-paying school can always provide the next level up – at which point does ‘not good enough’ end when private can always provide ‘better’?

The term ‘luxury’ denotes that only the top percentage of earners can use it, while the other circa 90% cannot. ‘Luxury’ also means ‘at great expense’ which is what private school is.

Do not try to manipulate clearly termed English language to attempt to disown the segregated privilege that private schools introduce to society, and certainly do not try to do it to attempt to justify not paying VAT.

That's an interesting generalisation.

I worked with a state school teacher who herself attended private school. She HATED her school life. Was bullied and only finally found happiness once her family moved and she started at a state school.

Not all private school pupils love school.

I agree with a lot of what people are saying here about 'buying results' but having taught in some of these schools I found there were many parents whose primary motivation was accessing single-sex education.

@VickyEadieofThigh i’ve no idea what they got out of it - ask them? But I assume their parents wanted them to have the most enjoyable experience of school possible, with lots of extra pastoral and/or extra curricular experiences. That may not have been what happened and perhaps your cousins didn’t enjoy their school. But I expect that was the intention of their parents.

Funny how we’re all different isn’t it? I mean to me, it seems like a total waste of time to start another thread on a topic that has been done to death over the last few months.

But you do you.

Perhaps people on this forum are just sick to their eyeballs on private school posts and they want to call it out.

Interesting. You should have met all the privately educated people I met as a student at Cambridge, who patronised me horribly and viciously and found it hilarious to imitate my northern accent.

People don't give a toss OP. The only people who care, are the ones using private schools

I am finding the epic tantrums highly amusing though.

Being able to choose a school where most parents are likely (never guaranteed) to have your values is a privilege and we chose private schools for this.

So we moved our kids from a state school where a large majority of parents petitioned the head against homework. Where daily instrument practice at primary was deemed excessive by some and we were made to feel like we were abusing our kids because we insisted they did 30 minutes of a workbook most days, despite both having busy jobs

Interestingly there are private schools with a similar laissez faire attitude - so I am not convinced it is a sector thing - more cultural.

I can assure you they expected superb exam results. My mother found it hilarious when these results did not occur.

It’s buying an education. Of course it’s a luxury.

@Didimum like I said earlier in the thread, we will pay the price for private education because we believe in it, VAT or no VAT. It is really sad that you see a stable, small class size, comfortable and safe environment for a child to learn to be a luxury. It should be a right. The fact that state schools don’t measure up to that and causes parents to pay to remove them from such schools does not mean that it is a luxury. Honestly, if more people had higher expectations of state schools rather than trying to suggest private schools are something extreme and unnecessary, there might be real change for all children across the board.