To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

[ewloan]

I have found this from threads and in real life, whenever private school comes up there’s this attitude that it’s about ‘buying results’ or ‘if your child is academic they will do well anywhere.’

Do people not realise that most people who send their kids to private school actually don’t need to be thinking about exam results as the main factor? These are people who often own businesses and have huge family wealth so their child’s exam results are not the be all and end all. The main reason people use private schools is for the entirely different experience for the child, for them to enjoy school and learning in small classes with lots of amenities and focus on their development. Why do people seem to think the main reason is to ‘buy an exam result’?

The schools round here are very rural multi acre sites with livery. It's a lifestyle and community, an experience just as much as an entrance into the best academic attainment possibilities.

This thread is just a long-winded exercise in saying ‘privilege is nice’. Well, colour me shocked. Thankfully most of us can exist in a reality when drivel like this isn’t brought up again and again and again and again.

The bitterness is beyond loud on Mumsnet ever since the election was called. It really is time to give the topic a rest.

I’m sooo glad you started this thread.

I’m sink comprehensive educated so I am too pig-shit-thick to realise y’all send your precious darlings to private schools because they have amazing facilities, fantastic opportunities, smaller classes and no disruptive chavs licking the windows and stinking the place up with their embarrassing poverty.

Well done you for having the bank balance to do this. It obviously makes you a superior human being in every single way.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Amenities you say? Join a leisure centre, get a library card and buy a violin.

There you go OP, I've just saved you £170,000.

You're welcome 🤗

@Didimum do you have anything to say about the substance of my post, other than to pay VAT? Do you not want state schools to do better, or is it just about trying to bring everyone down to state school level? Which won’t happen, by the way, it will just make the privilege gap even bigger.

@VickyEadieofThigh yes I understand, just think ‘hilarious’ is a bit of a stretch. If exams results are the only reason you choose private school then there’s a high chance you’ll be disappointed in your child. You can’t buy intelligence.

Our local libraries are open for only 5 hours per day. Neither particularly accessible by public transport, one is in a high school in the middle of a housing estate. In the wealthy MC Hertfordshire town I lived in a few years ago, the library is open 7 days a week and is in the middle of town, on a bus route. It’s open for a total of 53 hours per week, the ones near me are open less than half of that time.

The leisure centre is better, open 7 days and until late apart from Sat/Sun.

It’s beyond obvious that posts like yours are cropping up 10 a penny because of the VAT implementation and your disgruntlement over it. So yes, I repeat, pay your VAT and accept it.

I have commented on the substance of your post. I have said that I have never assumed people pay for private schools for exam results, but that they are paying for privilege.

I have also corrected you on your misuse of the word ‘luxury’.

And I fear I must correct you once again. ‘Bring everyone down to state level’ = eradicate the most significant providers of segregation in society.

I think of it as buying an unfair advantage.

@Didimum this isn’t about VAT. As I said, people will continue to pay for private school because the state sector is so poor. Do you not want the state sector to be better? You’d just rather every school was brought down to that level instead of actually focusing on improvements to the state sector? Your desperation for VAT to be paid is misguided as it will have absolutely no effect on state schools, they will remain as poor as ever, very sadly. The focus needs to be on making real changes, not trying to force every child to suffer in that system. Let’s do better?

But a child WILL get better results at a private school than the same child would have got in a state school.
You can’t compare GCSE grades between private and state schools.
At my child’s state school it’s all about behaviour control not teaching or learning. The main aim of kids in my daughter’s English class was to smuggle a desk out of the classroom for some reason!

@ThursdayTomorrow yes that is the exact point I have made earlier in the thread

I’m not desperate for VAT to be paid, I’m desperate for those whinging to shut up about it. If you care so deeply about the condition of state schools then donate all your private school fees to your local state school. But of course you won’t.

My children’s state school is absolutely excellent. All my friends, colleagues, family and acquaintances are happy with their state schools across a varied area of the UK. The hysteria reported by private school parents to justify their luxury of choice (ahem, sorry, their ‘only’ choice, because apparently affording upwards of £4k termly is not a luxury), is so out of touch it’s laughable.

Very similar reasons to this poster.

We generally tax luxuries.

VAT isn’t a tax on luxuries. There are plenty of luxuries we don’t tax.

Brilliant, that will be another good way of the Chancellor raising additional revenue then.

Agree with previous posters. Most people are not interested in why others attend private school, or even give it a second thought. Most people don't even know anyone who attends private school.

The things that get people worked up is private school parents who are completely unaware of their own privilege and seem to think they are not wealthy and just have tens of thousands of pounds spare each year because of their choice of holiday destination, and private school parents who claim they make "sacrifices" for their child's education as if the rest of us who use state education don't care about our kids.

My dh won a scholarship to a high end private school and it was precisely for the reason of not associating with riff raff.

We know it's not for the half a grade boost in A level results (that's wiped out by the time they graduate), it's about paying for the soft skills, resources and privilege.

It's the parents that claim they're paying for a better education that are either deluded or disingenuous.

I've always assumed that for most parents choosing private education, networking and social life was at least half the motivation.

The constant stream of pernickity threads about such a minority concern aren't gaining sympathy for private parents, though.

Exam results never entered my head when I chose a school for my son. I looked at all the available state schools and all 3 were dreadful. All 3 made it clear that my child was not welcome on the visit, none of them seemed the least bit interested in him. I was not given the opportunity to ask questions so I have no idea how they planned to help him with dyslexia. So we phoned our most local independant school and nervously asked if we could take him to the open day. They roared with laughter, had obviously heard the question before. Of course he must come, the day was for him. There was just no comparison with the state offering. I worked every hour that God sent, we had the cheapest of holidays, 5 day caravan type and drove a ratty old banger. It was the best spent money in all my life. He absolutely thrived. He left university with 2 job offers, went straight into his chosen proffesion and has risen well. He now works in a nationally recognised institution.

My son is severely dyslexic. I knew that no secondary would be able to provide for his needs. I found a private school with a dyslexic unit . I remortgaged my home and moved to another part of the country so he could go there.
The school did wonders for his self confidence. I’m still paying for the fees because of the second remortgage. He now owns his own business and home. I’d do it again.
My daughter is very academic and studies hard. She has excelled at a very strict comprehensive. Is starting the new term as head girl.
It’s horses for courses, we’re not a communist country, people want and should have choice.

I voted YABU because this parent of a child at a small rural independent school, does not have huge family wealth 😳

I'm a single mum with a ds on a 50% academic scholarship. DS came out of state primary frustrated, angry, miserable, lonely. He asked to try for the highly competitive scholarship, and when he won it, what was I supposed to do, say no?

His half fees cost me every penny, but he's happy, engaged, fulfilled. THAT is why I scrimp and save.

It's not for the 'experience', the small class sizes or the swimming pool, it's because my ds can now learn his maths and physics without being bullied for being a 'swot', Because he can read novels without having his book taken & thrown in the mud at lunchtime. Because I hated seeing him so unhappy and would have done anything in my power to help him.

I've n ever really thought about it but I assume it's to access a better standard of education/experience of the education setting