To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

[ewloan]

I have found this from threads and in real life, whenever private school comes up there’s this attitude that it’s about ‘buying results’ or ‘if your child is academic they will do well anywhere.’

Do people not realise that most people who send their kids to private school actually don’t need to be thinking about exam results as the main factor? These are people who often own businesses and have huge family wealth so their child’s exam results are not the be all and end all. The main reason people use private schools is for the entirely different experience for the child, for them to enjoy school and learning in small classes with lots of amenities and focus on their development. Why do people seem to think the main reason is to ‘buy an exam result’?

I sent my DS to private school because he has SEN and couldn’t get his needs met in local state school.
Yes we are lucky and privileged, I don’t mind what results he gets I just want him to be able to access the curriculum and have the best chance to succeed.
In class of 12 at least 10 have SEN.
The school doesnt have amazing facilities but it has very small classes is very nurturing, inclusive and supportive.

I don't disagree with you. Most kids who do well at private schools will do well anywhere. I think their parents are essentially paying for the "premium" experience.

That's why I agree with the VAT policy. Private education is a luxury rather than a necessity.

You’d be very, very wrong to think that school contacts and who they associate with won’t have any bearing on adult life.

No one thinks that. Teaching in the state sector tends to be better.

Parents are buying connections for their children.

Oh people definitely say it if they think you are “one of them”. I’ve heard some appalling comments mocking “council estate kids” and children on free school meals, as well as anti-Black racism (from Asian parents).

Most people don’t have the choice to sit and care about this.

why on earth click on the thread if you’re not interested? Odd.

Why on earth start another thread to try to 'enlighten' people who use state schools why you and others do not assuming that it's going to change minds. Odd.

I am considering private school for secondary - there is not a chance I would go for one that had worse exam results than our local comprehensive.

The whole point is making sure our kids do as well as they possibly can.

I can get them violin lessons on the side, extracurriculars aren't relevant at all to what I would choose

Absolutely this! I went to a private school, despite th fact my parents couldn’t afford it, and it was full of eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal teachers, sexual impropriety, theft, utterly RIFE with class A drugs, unhappy hothoused children and children with lots of emotional and psychological issues because their parents essentially neglected them - but fixed it by sending them to private school.

I hated it, and almost everyone in it.

and the education and teaching quality was genuinely piss poor.

i agree Op. my DC is 5- I have no idea whether they’re academic, artistic, athletic, etc. but I know the private school I chose has the resources to nurture whichever way things go as well as the small classes and 1:6/7 ratio.

I think there is truth in this. When discussing an issue with our state school recently, my brother in law (who sends his children to private said) said ‘when you use private school you pay not to be around these sorts of people’. It was so highly insulting that I will never think of him the same way again.

You’ll be glad to hear this bears no resemblance to the private school we use. I can’t think I’m in the minority!

It’s true, deprived area have many more traumatised kids and traumatised kids in mainstream schooling cause total havoc. Who can learn in that environment?

Why open the thread then? Height of stupidity

Wouldn’t that also be true of people who specifically aim for the most outstanding state schools?

I hope you’re right…but guess what: none of the parents knew or were told about any of this. Or they wouldn’t send their children there. I bet there is an awful lot that goes on at your child’s school that you would be shocked to learn about.

i never told my parents, either.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves i’m not sure it’s a luxury to want to ensure your kids are safe and in classrooms small enough to learn and have confidence. I would consider that to be the basics of what we should expect for our kids.

This exactly. See my comment above regarding what my brother in law said to us regarding our state school. I believe he said this because he knows we can afford private fees but choose not to.

Being honest. This is a motivation of mine. I don't want mjbevto be in a class with children messing about, playing up etc Those that ate loyd, brash and poorly parented. I want my children around well mannered, well behaved, decent children. It is markedly different seeing the politeness, confidence and behaviour of private school children.

This is such an ignorant response. Of course it’s not a luxury to want the best for your child (that doesn’t even make sense), but it is a luxury to be able to pay to provide it. Are you insinuating that parents who cannot afford fees do not ‘luxuriate’ in wanting the best for their children?

@stargirl1701 it’s possible the teaching could be better in a state school. But if you’re one of 35 in the room with disruptive kids then you’re not actually going to be benefiting from that teaching.

@Didimum i am saying that paying to ensure your kids are safe, in smaller classes and can learn as effectively as possible isn’t (or shouldn’t be) considered a luxury. The fact that there’s even a suggestion this is a luxury is exactly what is wrong with the state sector and why it’s on its arse.

I really, and I cannot stress this enough, do not care.

"educated properly".

I went to state schools a long time ago (1963-76) but I still find the notion that those of us whose parents were too poor to send us to private schools were not "properly educated" absolutely outrageous.

I got much better exam results and a better degree (plus 3 others) than my two cousins who went to private schools, by the way.

@DontBiteTheCat not sure if you’re aware, but you’re not obliged to waste your time posting on threads you don’t care about x